View Full Version : Amusing article of the day

08-23-2006, 02:58 PM
Psycho Killer Raccoons Terrorize Olympia

OLYMPIA, Washington (AP) - A fierce group of raccoons has killed 10 cats, attacked a small dog and bitten at least one pet owner who had to get rabies shots, residents of Olympia say.

Some have taken to carrying pepper spray to ward off the masked marauders and the woman who was bitten now carries an iron pipe when she goes outside at night.

"It's a new breed," said Tamara Keeton, who with Kari Hall started a raccoon watch after an emotional neighborhood meeting drew 40 people. "They're urban raccoons, and they're not afraid."

Tony Benjamins, whose family lost two cats, said he got a big dog - a German Shepherd-Rottweiler mix - to keep the raccoons away.

One goal of the patrol is to get residents to stop feeding raccoons and to keep pets and pet food indoors.

Lisann Rolle said she began carrying an iron pipe when she goes outside at night after being bitten by raccoons when she tried to pull three of them off her cat Lucy. She obtained rabies shots afterward as a precaution.

"I was watching her like a hawk, but she snuck out," Rolle said. "Then I heard this hideous sound - a coyote-type high pitch ... It was vicious. They were focused on ripping her apart."

The attacks have been especially shocking because raccoons came within five feet (1 1/2 meters) of cats without any problem in previous years, Benjamins said.

"We used to love the raccoons. They'd have their babies this time of year, and they were so cute. Even though we lived in the city, it was neat to have wildlife around," he said, "but this year, things changed. They went nuts."

In one case five raccoons tried to carry off a small dog, which managed to survive.

The attacks, all within a three-block area near the Garfield Nature Trail in Olympia, are highly unusual, said Sean O. Carrell, a problem wildlife coordinator with the state Department of Fish and Wildlife, adding that trappers may be summoned from the U.S. Department of Agriculture to remove problem animals.

"I've never heard a report of 10 cats being killed. It's something were going to have to monitor," Carrell said.

Meanwhile, residents have hired Tom Brown, a nuisance wildlife control operator from Rochester, Washington, to set traps, but in six weeks he has caught only one raccoon. He and Carrell said raccoons teach their young - and each other - to avoid traps.

Brown said he had seen packs of raccoons this big but none so into killing.

"They are in command up there," he said.

A gang of coons...who woulda thought they could rule olympia bahaha

08-23-2006, 03:08 PM
Man that's savage, people don't realize how nasty they are. They can pull a rabbit or chicken right through the fuggin' cage, really strong and sharp-teethed bastards....

People feeding them, wtf! :confused: "They're cute..." Ya, until they get a hold of your little kid. :idiots:

08-24-2006, 02:32 AM
Coons, huh? You guys gotta read this.


Frisco was the next town to the west of the city I lived in. Very affluent city where all the high school kids have new BMWs and the like.

08-24-2006, 10:38 AM
Another one of those articles that makes you go "hmm you think?" lol drunk people hitting on each other...omg wtf is wrong with them? :p

Authorities horrified to find that Norwegians hit on each other after drinking

One in five harassed
Nearly one in five Norwegian women has been harassed by drunk men in the past year.
The result comes from a new study carried out by MMI for the Directorate for Health and Social Affairs. The survey found that 18 percent of women have experienced sexual harassment in the past year and that women between the ages of 20-29 are most vulnerable, newspaper Dagsavisen reports.

"Frightening. Now men need to alter their behavior, schools must teach students where the boundaries go and women must become better at saying that this will not be tolerated. This can help lead to fewer rapes and less violence," Tove Smaadahl told Dagsavisen.

Sexual harassment of men is also a noticeable phenomenon, with six percent of all men over the age of 20 being exposed to unwanted sexual attention during the past year.

Per Kristian Dotterud, manager of the Reform resource center for men, believes that alcohol use helps unacceptable attitudes surface, for both men and women.

"The number is high and reflects the fact that alcohol weakens judgment and reduces the ability to take in signals," said Jens Guslund of the Directorate for Health and Social Affairs.


08-28-2006, 10:59 AM
Joser don't get any ideas hahaha

New Mexico school shut down due to student bringing burrito to school. Principal is apparently unaware that burritos cannot cause explosions until after they are eaten

CLOVIS, N.M. - A call about a possible weapon at a middle school prompted police to put armed officers on rooftops, close nearby streets and lock down the school. All over a giant burrito.

Someone called authorities Thursday after seeing a boy carrying something long and wrapped into Marshall Junior High.

The drama ended two hours later when the suspicious item was identified as a 30-inch burrito filled with steak, guacamole, lettuce, salsa and jalapeños and wrapped inside tin foil and a white T-shirt.

"I didn't know whether to laugh or cry," school Principal Diana Russell said.

State police, Clovis police and the Curry County Sheriff's Department arrived at the school shortly after 8:30 a.m. They searched the premises and determined there was no immediate danger.

Worried parents gather at school
In the meantime, more than 30 parents, alerted by a radio report, descended on the school. Visibly shaken, they gathered around in a semicircle, straining their necks, awaiting news.

"There needs to be security before the kids walk through the door," said Heather Black, whose son attends the school.

After the lockdown was lifted but before the burrito was identified as the culprit, parents pulled 75 students out of school, Russell said.

Russell said the mystery was solved after she brought everyone in the school together in the auditorium to explain what was going on.

"The kid was sitting there as I'm describing this (report of a student with a suspicious package) and he's thinking, 'Oh, my gosh, they're talking about my burrito.'"

Afterward, eighth-grader Michael Morrissey approached her.

‘I think I’m the person they saw’
"He said, 'I think I'm the person they saw,'" Russell said.

The burrito was part of Morrissey's extra-credit assignment to create commercial advertising for a product.

"We had to make up a product and it could have been anything. I made up a restaurant that specialized in oddly large burritos," Morrissey said.

After students heard the description of what police were looking for, he and his friends began to make the connection. He then took the burrito to the office.

"The police saw it and everyone just started laughing. It was a laughter of relief," Morrissey said.

"Oh, and I have a new nickname now. It's Burrito Boy."


08-28-2006, 03:39 PM

08-28-2006, 03:43 PM
Hey baby, want a bite of my 30" burrito???

08-28-2006, 03:59 PM
LMFAO! burritto boy!

man u could seriously hurt someone with a 30'' burritto! can u imagine getting hit upside the head with it!?

09-17-2006, 03:17 PM
Shit if kids started calling me Burrito Boy after that I would bring a gun to school.

10-10-2006, 12:00 PM
This one doesn't even need a catchy title hahaha :p

Lightning exits woman's bottom

A WOMAN has suffered severe burning to her anus after being struck by lightning which hit her in the mouth and passed right through her body.

Natasha Timarovic, 27, was cleaning her teeth at home when lightning struck the building.

She said: "I had just put my mouth under the tap to rinse away the toothpaste when the lightning must have struck the building.

I don't remember much after that, but I was later told that the lightning had travelled down the water pipe and struck me on the mouth, passing through my body.

It was incredibly painful, I felt it pass through my torso and then I don't remember much at all." Doctors at the city hospital where she was treated for burns to the mouth and rear said: "The accident is bizarre but not impossible.

She was wearing rubber bathroom shoes at the time and so instead of earthing through her feet it appears the electricity shot out of her backside," a medic told local television news channel, 24 Sata.

"It appears to have earthed through the damp shower curtain that she was touching as she bent over to put her mouth under the tap. If she had not been wearing the shoes she would probably have been killed by the blast."

10-10-2006, 12:07 PM
Thats crazy, I wonder if smoke was comming out her ass when it happened. :shrug:

11-06-2006, 02:24 PM
thought this was amusing and pretty interesting too lol, check the link for pics

KSC Safety Roller Coaster

NASA plans to build an $8 million roller coaster at the launch pad for the next generation of space vehicles.

Astronauts could use the coaster rail car system to escape from the launch pad in an emergency.

NASA approved the plans for the system on Friday after looking over four options.

The coaster escape system is the most expensive at roughly $8 million, but it is also the quickest escape from the pad. Designs show it's just an 18 second ride to the end of the line.

The current space shuttle launch pad has a slide wire basket system for emergencies, but documents show it is slower and more expensive to maintain than the coaster escape.

NASA is asking vendors to submit design proposals for the coaster escape system. It’s expected to start this year with plans to start making the parts for the system in two years.


11-09-2006, 11:06 AM
This has gotta leave a mark

Backside firework prank backfires
A man suffered internal burns when he tried to launch a rocket from his bottom on Bonfire Night.

Paramedics found the 22-year-old bleeding, with a Black Cat Thunderbolt Rocket lodged inside him, when they attended the scene in Sunderland.

He suffered a scorched colon and is now recovering in hospital, where his condition is described as stable.

A spokesman for the North East Ambulance Service (NEAS) said the prank could have been fatal.

Douglas McDougal, from the NEAS, said: "We received a call stating there was a male who had a firework in his bottom and it was bleeding.

"He sustained fairly significant injuries in the fact that there's huge damage to that particular area."

'Beyond belief'

Mr McDougal added: "Potentially it could have been a fatal incident.

"There's a lot of major blood vessels round that area, so infection would probably be a huge problem for him.

"And also the body naturally produces methane gas, so combine that with the firework and the exploding effect with methane's flammability - it certainly could have been a lot worse than it really was."

A spokesman for the Firework Association described the bizarre prank as "beyond belief".

He said: "We have spent a long time working with the government to create laws that make fireworks safer and better for the public.

"This incident is very concerning but hopefully an isolated one."

Northumbria Police said they were aware of the incident, which happened in the Dame Dorothy Street area of Monkwearmouth, but are understood not to be carrying out further inquiries.

The incident in Sunderland was captured by a gang of youths and the fuzzy mobile phone footage shows a blinding white flash followed by hysterical laughter and one youth shouting "ha ha ha ha that's f******* nice".

It is believed the 22-year-old had recently returned from a tour of Iraq. Witness Daniel Kassim, 16, said: "There were around 40 of us after the bonfire had finished. This lad was saying, 'This is boring, what can we do?' He then put a rocket up his backside and set light to it.

"Everyone was laughing and didn't believe he'd do it. He pulled his trousers down and it exploded within seconds.

"No one thought he was hurt. But then he stood up and walked a few metres before stumbling and falling to the ground. There was quite a bit of blood."

Safety campaigners say they have never come across such a bizarre incident but it is thought the squaddie could have been copying a scene from the controversial film Jackass: The Movie which shows a similar prank.

A spokeswoman for the North East Ambulance Service said: "We received a call stating there was a male who had a firework in his bottom and it was bleeding.

"He was attended to and taken to Sunderland Royal Hospital."

The victim is recovering at Sunderland Royal Hospital after sustaining horrific internal injuries including a scorched colon. Safety experts today warned that misusing the explosives in such a senseless way can have serious consequences.

Police and paramedics were called to the Dame Dorothy Street area of Monkwearmouth, in Sunderland, on Bonfire Night after reports of the stunt.

The prank, involving a Black Cat Thunderbolt Rocket, has left safety officers bemused. A spokesman for the Royal Society for the Prevention of Accidents (RoSPA) said: "It's so unfortunate that someone is now paying the price for the misuse of fireworks.

"Let's not forget these are explosives. They come with specific instructions about how they should be used."

A spokeswoman for Northumbria Police said: "We were notified by the ambulance service and the 22-year-old was taken to hospital for treatment." The police are understood not to be carrying out further inquiries.

A spokesman for the Firework Association, said he had never heard of an incident like it in 45 years. He added: "This sort of thing is beyond belief. We have spent a long time working with the Government to create laws that make fireworks safer and better for the public. This incident is very concerning but hopefully an isolated one."

http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/news/article-23373879-details/Video:+Rocket+man+injured+firing+firework+from+his +bottom/article.do

11-13-2006, 01:56 PM
I just wish they would have taped the whole thing lol

Two policemen dressed as Batman and Robin captured a suspected drugs offender - in a bizarre sting operation.

The Dynamic Duo - Sgt Tony Smith and PC Mike Holman - pulled on the superhero outfits in a bid to unsettle the suspected baddies.

They pretended to be drunks looking for a fancy dress party and knocked on the door of the suspect's home.

Those inside refused to answer the door to the loud, comically dressed visitors - which was what the officers wanted.

Batman and Robin then went around the back of the property in Weymouth, Dorset, while seven uniformed officers went to the front door.

Those inside the house were PLEASED to see the policemen and complained to them about the fancy dress drunks. They then invited the officers in.

However, one of the men inside the house ran out of the back door on seeing the policeman - to where the superheroes were waiting for him.

Batman - Sgt Smith - gave chase, jumped over a fence and BIFF, POW, THWACK, arrested him.

PC Kevin Eames, said: "The people opened the door immediately and said that they had been alarmed by some drunken people in fancy dress in their garden.

"So the ruse was successful and we were let in."

Sgt Smith added: "Last year police officers dressed up as carol singers, which worked well.

"This was my first costumed acting experience.

"The Batman costume was quite comfortable and not too restricting. I still managed to jump over the fence.

"But it was difficult finding somewhere to put my CS spray. There was nowhere for the handcuffs, but then Batman does not need handcuffs."

PC Eames said: "The bad thing about the operation is that we had to endure hours of terrible puns from PC Holman."

A man aged 22 has been arrested and charged with a drugs offence. He is bailed to appear before Weymouth magistrates.

There were no charges against two other men found at the property.


11-16-2006, 03:23 PM
I'm glad I don't work there :p

Fort Worth, TX – Biometric security systems like fingerprint and retinal scanning have been on the forefront of security, but a new biometric procedure promises to go even deeper.

Proberect Corporation's new rectal scanner promises to be the end all in security.

"As has been shown in countless movies, fingerprint and retinal scans can be easily duplicated by using wax molds or by cutting off the head of an employee, but rectal scanning is almost impossible to fake," said Alan Cummings, CEO of Proberect.

"The inside of everyone's rectum has a unique pattern which is more complex than fingerprints and a rectum is harder to pop out than an eye so it is more secure," said Cummings. "After an initial ten-minute scan to map out the person's rectum, it's just sit and go."

The probe vibrates and expands if it detects an invalid rectal signature.

The first adopters of the Proberect system are companies working on top secret military contracts for the US government which require the highest of security.

One of these companies, Lockheed Martin, has the Proberect system in place at its Fort Worth, Texas facility. "It's a simple process. The employee lubes up the probe to increase electric conductivity then just sits down on it," said Beverly Carlton of Lockheed Martin. "A few employees complained, but most are used to taking it up the ass from management around here, so it wasn't a big adjustment."

Some employees complained that the process is "quite painful" while others had to be forced to get off the probe.

Managers at Lockheed have suggested employees wear miniskirts or kilts to speed up the process.

Click link for pichttp://www.bbspot.com/News/2006/11/biometric-security.html

11-16-2006, 05:24 PM
damn youve been busy looking this crazy shit up all day havent you corey. . .

11-16-2006, 08:55 PM
damn youve been busy looking this crazy shit up all day havent you corey. . .

corey? when the fuck did he change the spelling of his name....lol