A Nice way to say No?

[LadyG]

Whew! Its been a while since I've made a topic!

So, I offered to help a fellow CB7 owner install his new coil sleeves- I told him since I have the tools, a garage and I have installed the kind he has before, I would be happy to help.
I also explicitly stated that HE would have to do the majority of the grunt work.

Another CB7 owner, (who is going to immediately recognize this situation- but I ask that he remain as general as I am being, should he decide to post) came with him.
Thank Goodness he came too!

Myself and this other member ended up doing the install.

It took from 7pm till 2 in the morning.(Because we had to turn the compressor off at 11- my kids/BF were sleeping in rooms next to the garage)

The owner of the car walked around, on his phone, watching us- sometimes.
His level of disinterest about learning to work on his ride was...disappointing.
I would call him over to show him things he NEEDED to know- but towards the end (12am+) I was over it.
I had to call him over to TELL him to: "Brake that loose." "Will you do this?" "Do this."
ALL NIGHT.

Wouldn't have been an issue if I had been expecting it, and had charged him. But I didn't, because I thought I was helping someone do their own work; just providing a garage, tools, and experience. He did ask, at the end of the night if I "wanted anything" for my work. I said no, because that was the agreement previously made.

Here's the problem.

He has other parts, and when we discussed doing the suspension- we discussed doing those.
He even asked me in the middle of doing the suspension if we would have time to get to the other parts....

Now he has hit me up repeatedly, wanting to install these parts... and I don't wanna fuck with it. Especially for FREE.

Also, the majority of the tools we have, have been moved to the BF's new shop- so HE would have to tote the nessisary tools back and forth- and that is a PITA. (Some socket forgotten is about an hour away!)
I told him the tools had moved to the shop, and it didn't seem to register what that meant, he kept hitting me up about it.

Finally, when he posted a comment about installing his parts on a totally unrelated post on FB, I commented that it would be $75 to get it done at my BF's shop.

I don't want to get a rep as a bitch- (cause I don't think I have been) and I am worried that this mo'fo will run his mouth b/c I "backed out on him".

I need a way to nicely say, "You suck at helping, and I don't wanna wrench on YOUR shit alone." and not have him mud slinging all over FB and forums. I am a little too "direct" sometimes, and I am not trying to create butthurt and drama.

I don't usually want money, anyway. I want to "teach". If a fellow is willing to learn, and do the hard work-I have no problem providing help for free.

Thoughts/Suggestions?

[BurtonRiderT6]

It's simple, the next time he asks for your help tell him that you wouldn't mind helping him, and by help you mean assisting HIM with his ride so he can learn. Make it clear that you're not his own personal mechanic and it's not fair to you to wrench on his car all the time while he has no initiative to help and or learn. Bottom line is help those who are only willing to help themselves.

[Ralphie]

I think you should have waited until something came up to make a thread like this.

Not saying your wrong, I agree with you 100%...

but...

even though you didn't name him or his buddy, he might feel as if he has no way of clearing it up without being named and then basically all his "business" is out there.

But I agree with Burton....

tell him you are not going to do free work.....so if he wants to come over and do work and have you GUIDE him then thats fine, if not, tell him your charge.

And when he comes, MAKE him work....don't be so nice lol.

[illinois_erik]

Just be straight and to the point --->

"You suck at helping, and I don't wanna wrench on YOUR shit alone."

That works well albeit a bit blunt, but it sounds like this dude needs bluntness to penetrate the cranium. If he wants to talk shit then he is a douche and any other non douche would probably feel the same as you in that situation.(Then the story can be told) Tell the fawker to go pay 80/hr flat rate at a shop if he's not willing to get his hands dirty and not be involved in his own shit.
I dont know why so many people beat around the bush, if everyone was crystal clear then a lot of misunderstandings wouldnt happen I guess though when feelings come into play people try to do it lightly..but if someone basically is using you dont have any regrets being frank. Frank kicks ass

[PakaloloHonda]

Wooaah! Gurls are so easy ... ha! I'm kidding ya Monica .. I'd never abuse you like that.

Send him an invoice for said work above, and when it's paid in full, just give him your terms, written.
I really hate it when a friend or a friend of a friend wants something done.
You know they're gonna want "a deal" .. even after said "deal" is quoted, they flip out!

You just too nice Monica .. and I've never even met you lol!

[toycar]

Tell him its bad for business, and now that you are in business for yourselves and have actual overhead costs that get paid with money earned for work done, you just cannot do shit for free anymore.


Then, nicely slip a quote and a phone number to the shop and try to get him to pay for quality work done correctly.

Win/win

[LadyG]

I think you should have waited until something came up to make a thread like this.
Even though you didn't name him or his buddy, he might feel as if he has no way of clearing it up without being named and then basically all his "business" is out there.

I know this guy, because of his "Buddy".
The Buddy is a cool dude. This was actually the first time I had met "the guy" in person.
And I am also hoping that this might give "the guy" a clue. He actually hit me up on fb 5 minutes ago- for this same ish.

I dont know why so many people beat around the bush, if everyone was crystal clear then a lot of misunderstandings wouldnt happen

I thought I was clear from the beginning.

You just too nice Monica .. and I've never even met you lol!

I might just be hon....I might just be.

Then, nicely slip a quote and a phone number to the shop and try to get him to pay for quality work done correctly.

Win/win

Finally, when he posted a comment about installing his parts on a totally unrelated post on FB, I commented that it would be $75 to get it done at my BF's shop.

He knows where the shop is, I gave him a price, and he is still hitting me up.
I don't the have tools in my garage anymore to do this- and I told him that.

This is why I made this thread.
I was hoping someone could suggest a more comfortable solution than the knife edge of my tongue.
But, (unless he sees this thread first, lol) I'm thinking that a comfortable solution might not get through to him.

[h22sparkle]

Whew! Its been a while since I've made a topic!

So, I offered to help a fellow CB7 owner install his new coil sleeves- I told him since I have the tools, a garage and I have installed the kind he has before, I would be happy to help.
I also explicitly stated that HE would have to do the majority of the grunt work.

Another CB7 owner, (who is going to immediately recognize this situation- but I ask that he remain as general as I am being, should he decide to post) came with him.
Thank Goodness he came too!

Myself and this other member ended up doing the install.

It took from 7pm till 2 in the morning.(Because we had to turn the compressor off at 11- my kids/BF were sleeping in rooms next to the garage)

The owner of the car walked around, on his phone, watching us- sometimes.
His level of disinterest about learning to work on his ride was...disappointing.
I would call him over to show him things he NEEDED to know- but towards the end (12am+) I was over it.
I had to call him over to TELL him to: "Brake that loose." "Will you do this?" "Do this."
ALL NIGHT.

Wouldn't have been an issue if I had been expecting it, and had charged him. But I didn't, because I thought I was helping someone do their own work; just providing a garage, tools, and experience. He did ask, at the end of the night if I "wanted anything" for my work. I said no, because that was the agreement previously made.

Here's the problem.

He has other parts, and when we discussed doing the suspension- we discussed doing those.
He even asked me in the middle of doing the suspension if we would have time to get to the other parts....

Now he has hit me up repeatedly, wanting to install these parts... and I don't wanna fuck with it. Especially for FREE.

Also, the majority of the tools we have, have been moved to the BF's new shop- so HE would have to tote the nessisary tools back and forth- and that is a PITA. (Some socket forgotten is about an hour away!)
I told him the tools had moved to the shop, and it didn't seem to register what that meant, he kept hitting me up about it.

Finally, when he posted a comment about installing his parts on a totally unrelated post on FB, I commented that it would be $75 to get it done at my BF's shop.

I don't want to get a rep as a bitch- (cause I don't think I have been) and I am worried that this mo'fo will run his mouth b/c I "backed out on him".

I need a way to nicely say, "You suck at helping, and I don't wanna wrench on YOUR shit alone." and not have him mud slinging all over FB and forums. I am a little too "direct" sometimes, and I am not trying to create butthurt and drama.

I don't usually want money, anyway. I want to "teach". If a fellow is willing to learn, and do the hard work-I have no problem providing help for free.

Thoughts/Suggestions?

Well from a business perspective if anyone is hassling you just say your not interested but thankyou for the reply. Dont lead him on in interest in asking your for help or asking him for tools or anything for that matter because youll keep that individual thinking you really want/need their help.

Now to my understanding without being too direct you just have to leave well enough alone get to know them to a certain extent on a professional level and say to yourself do you want to actually do business with this person and will it be a helpful thing for you or a burden just dealing with them or being associated with them at all. Then go from there if it's not worth it it's just not worth it. But first but foremost be polite if they call on the phone constantly and your not with it put em on block thats what its for.

[LadyG]

You got that backwards Sparkle.
My tools.
My help.

[illinois_erik]

I thought I was clear from the beginning.

The circumstances of the story are, beating around the bush with being disappointed in the guys lack of effort and not telling him straight up isnt

[LadyG]

^This is true...

[h22sparkle]

You got that backwards Sparkle.
My tools.
My help.

Oh no my fault there was alot of stuff there and I skimmed through it my bad. Damn so you helped this guy out and it was your tools oh no. I wouldnt even bother to do business with that individual at all. I would have passed that one up and kept it moving.

You know your work is credible for every customer that doesnt want to help charge them extra or leave them there and keep it moving. Sure I know it sounds bad but why even put yourself through the BS. Let someone help me on my car id be there with the flashlight to holding up one end of the car if I had to if I neede dit done that bad.

[toycar]

I read the post and understand you casually mentioned the shop and cost.

I guess what I'm saying is to firmly say the same thing in a fashion that he has no choice but acknowledge what you are getting at.

[wed3k]

i do this all the time to help people but i like working alone so i end up doing most of the work.

i give people one chance, i don't butter it up but next time i tell them whats up or they get my voicemail any time they call. time is money so stop wasting your time.

[Tnwagn]

"I'm glad I was able to do the work on the coil-sleeves, but I don't feel you helped enough with the work to make it worth my while to help with any future projects."

Is it really that hard to just say no?