A thought for "Nice Guys"

[LadyG]

I have realized a simple truth about women, one I feel might be of use to the guy who isn't an asshole.
I know a lot of guys that for one reason or another, just can't seem to find a "nice" girl, and they take what comes their way, like a leaf on the breeze. Often, an emotionally immature/damaged/crayyyyzy biiiiitch

"No More!" I say.

I know you guys don't like long posts, so I will come to my postulate: That the real thing that women like about "assholes" is that they hold themselves in such high esteem.
Much above most other men,and sometimes higher than their standards really are, and that's why girls try to throw themselves at them....They want to be held higher than that place a man hold himself.

Now, self respect is a fine line walked in attitude- but it actually is a set of rules you make for yourself, about what YOU deserve in life, and really sticking to them. Also, treating the women you date (the ones you choose to date) far above how you treat other girls. You have to value you, before other people do. You deserve the best.

You do not have to be a dick, but if you allow yourself to be used, to not take care of yourself- your responsibilities- or allow yourself to believe that you'll "take what you can get"; than those thoughts define you to other people, especially women. Attraction is less about compatibility at first, at first it is lust. Are you a lust object?

You should be. To yourself.

Discuss as you like.

[Leung]

I have noticed that that my buddy Pete treats his girl almost like dirt and she loves him. I'll be playing BLOPs2 with him over Xbox live and I'll hear him say something, in my opinion, mean to her yet she's still living with him; I just figured there is something wrong with her mentally if she's going to take that kind of abuse.

My buddies and I have asked him to tone it down a notch otherwise we'd remove him from out buddy list.

[MikeW]

A) props for "postulate".

B) Are you admitting that most girls like assholes?

C) This is very true. Im a bit of a door mat, or at least I used to be. I am still a little but not near as much.

You just gotta "Be the me I wanna be". Stand up for yourself, and go after what you want. Sure you might not get it on the first try, but if you work hard or you think you deserve it, then go after it. "If at first you dont succeed, try until you do succeed".

There's not much more to add to this. Monica did a pretty good job explaining it. Be confident, know what you want and deserve and overall, dont be a dick. You can get things done by being assertive. There's a difference.

[MikeW]

I have noticed that that my buddy Pete treats his girl almost like dirt and she loves him. I'll be playing BLOPs2 with him over Xbox live and I'll hear him say something, in my opinion, mean to her yet she's still living with him; I just figured there is something wrong with her mentally if she's going to take that kind of abuse.

My buddies and I have asked him to tone it down a notch otherwise we'd remove him from out buddy list.

Some girls have issues and let guys treat them like trash. And then all you hear them say is, "Why cant I find a nice guy???"

[LadyG]

Some girls have issues and let guys treat them like trash. And then all you hear them say is, "Why cant I find a nice guy???"

Yooooouu got it.
I am not a female apologist- there are all kinds of girls- including crazy!
And no, The simplest form of what I'm saying is; "Girls like assholes" is actually "Girls like men with self respect"

[trickedaccord92]

It's all about confidence ... Before I got married I was a shy nice guy who didn't have confidence in myself.

After I got married and was still going out and partying with friends. I was no longer trying to find the right girl I was free to be myself and since I didn't have to worry about what a girl thought of me I had the confidence to do things I wouldn't have in the past.

The end results were that all these girls that wouldn't have given me the time of day in the past were wanting to get to know me. I ended up hooking a few friends up with girls that wouldn't have hooked up otherwise but yeah it's not that women like bad-boys it's that they are attracted to that confidence that most of them have in themselves.

For all the "Nice guys" out there you got to have confidence in yourself.

[crazymikey]

I'm the nicest asshole you'll ever meet.

I'm currently single by choice. Recently met a girl. Went out with her for a couple weeks. Kicked her ass to the curb because she's 24, lives at home under parents rules and curfew, doesn't have a driver's licence, is afraid to learn to drive, can't/doesn't cook and expects to be wined and dined every night.

Fuck that. That's not wife material, so I'm decided not to waste any time and get out while it was still easy.

[Shadow91]

I'm the nicest asshole you'll ever meet.

I'm currently single by choice. Recently met a girl. Went out with her for a couple weeks. Kicked her ass to the curb because she's 24, lives at home under parents rules and curfew, doesn't have a driver's licence, is afraid to learn to drive, can't/doesn't cook and expects to be wined and dined every night.

Fuck that. That's not wife material, so I'm decided not to waste any time and get out while it was still easy.

Haha, almost like my GF, except when i met her she was 16 (i was 18) haha

Now she can cook (barely) is learning to drive and lives with me.. And it only took me 3 years! (she's 19 now)

[91b20ed]

Nice guys finish last, confident guys fuck the prom queen.

[LadyG]

The only prom you went to was mine. :P

[Quashish]

Nice guys finish last, confident guys fuck the prom queen.

The only prom you went to was mine. :P

that is all

[Straight Success]

As I get closer to graduation, I notice the old cockiness/arrogance/confidence me is slowly coming back with regards to interacting with women. I'm actually starting to get attention from women again; slowly, but making progress. I'm getting back to that, fuck you, I don't need you mentality. I need it to all come back, so I can shape into the man that I fully am.

[owequitit]

I have realized a simple truth about women, one I feel might be of use to the guy who isn't an asshole.
I know a lot of guys that for one reason or another, just can't seem to find a "nice" girl, and they take what comes their way, like a leaf on the breeze. Often, an emotionally immature/damaged/crayyyyzy biiiiitch

"No More!" I say.

I know you guys don't like long posts, so I will come to my postulate: That the real thing that women like about "assholes" is that they hold themselves in such high esteem.
Much above most other men,and sometimes higher than their standards really are, and that's why girls try to throw themselves at them....They want to be held higher than that place a man hold himself.

Now, self respect is a fine line walked in attitude- but it actually is a set of rules you make for yourself, about what YOU deserve in life, and really sticking to them. Also, treating the women you date (the ones you choose to date) far above how you treat other girls. You have to value you, before other people do. You deserve the best.

You do not have to be a dick, but if you allow yourself to be used, to not take care of yourself- your responsibilities- or allow yourself to believe that you'll "take what you can get"; than those thoughts define you to other people, especially women. Attraction is less about compatibility at first, at first it is lust. Are you a lust object?

You should be. To yourself.

Discuss as you like.

There are psychological books galore that deal with this, and they are all correct.

It isn't the attitude of being a dick, it is the attitude of believing you are worth something which naturally attracts other people to want to know what.

A lot of the same knowledge can be used on "regular" people, but without the intent of having sex with them.

[deevergote]

Monica, you're absolutely right.

I'm a nice guy (usually), I have a realistically high opinion of myself (I don't think I'm "the shit", but I have no issues with my self-worth), I treat women with respect.
I NEVER settle for "whatever I can get". If someone doesn't meet my standards from the start, I won't waste my time (or hers) pursuing anything.

Still, I seem to suffer from the "nice guy" problems. I was once told by a friend of mine that I'm too formal. Too polite. To the point where I come off as being timid. I suppose that's true. When I take a girl out, I'm not trying to do whatever it takes to get in her pants as fast as possible. I'm not feigning interest in what she likes, or puffing myself up to be more than I am (in fact, I probably downplay my qualities more than I should... I'd fit in more with Japanese culture than American culture in that way!) When I take a girl out, I'm genuinely interested in getting to know who she is. I want to know her as a person, not just see what she's like in the sack. I think on at least one occasion, I actually drove away because I wasn't that aggressive guy trying to get her naked. Then again, if that's what she wanted, I'm not so sure she's the type of girl I wanted to date anyway!



The key is to be yourself. Be comfortable with yourself. Be confident in who you are, flaws and all (because NOBODY is perfect... that hot girl you're checking out? Yeah, she probably just farted a minute ago, and has spinach stuck in her teeth.)

It's not that girls like jerks. They like confidence. Jerks just act confident... though many are faking it. I know a lot of jerks... and I know a lot of nerds. The nerds are often far more confident in themselves than the jerks. The jerks just play it off better.
Often, the jerks are often better looking, too... with more style. You don't need quite as much confidence if you look good... and if you look good, confidence is built by people responding positively to it.

[wed3k]

i dont even try for women, i just buy them with money.