weird situation

[zmanwit90accord]

Haven't posted in a while here but I wanted to wait to ask for opinions on something that happened this summer.

Few weeks ago I was involved in a car accident. Friend was driving my car, didn't stop all the way and some lady took a left too sharp and hit us.

Problem is, we were both drunk. I was absolutely destroyed, came out of black out minutes before the accident. My friend had just recently been hit by the effects of alcohol.

First thing we did was check on the lady, she got out of the car, nothing major. No signs of bleeding, walking (thank goodness). We were both fine as well. Friend had a minor concussion, and we had some glass cuts, but we were alright. I tried to move my car out of the road but it wouldn't budge. I noticed my distressed friend in a state of panic, knowing he was about to be arrested.

Now this friend, is my best friend. I have known him and his family for the better part of 18 years. He is applying to be a state trooper and I knew this would have a major impact on his career. The airbags went off and I had a busted lip, seeing him upset and in awe of the whole situation, I put my head down on the driver side airbag, leaving a little blood mark.

I don't remember much else but before I knew it, I was being arrested and put into the back of the police car.

In my mind, I didn't resist arrest because I knew this incident would hurt me a lot less than it would hurt him and his future career. I found out later that he had been pleading with the cop, saying that he was driving, but the cop didn't believe him. Thought he was trying to protect me.

I found out just recently that the arresting officer placed the blame on my because I was the only one bleeding and he found blood on the drivers side airbag.

So I got arrested, slept the night in jail, too ashamed to call anyone, and I've been dealing with the consequences ever since.

Now my friend isn't a scumbag. He feels so guilty and he has been paying for everything I've been through, fees and whatnot.

I was extremely lucky and only had to pay a $50 fine, and will be going through an alcohol education program before I'm completely dismissed of this.

The worst part about all this is lying to our parents, making them worry about us even more and thinking of me in a different way. I must say, I have found that my acting talent is much more impressive than I thought. Had to go through all this with a straight, somber, remorseful face the whole time.

Now I talked to my lawyer and he said that even if it was found that my friend was driving, it would be too little, too late. They never took my friend to the station, didn't test him, so there would be no point in getting any deeper trying to fight what happened.

I talked about this situation to a few close friends and they were all pretty astonished about my character and why I chose to go through all this. I'd like to hear your opinions on this to kind of make sure I've been doing the right thing, even if it means lying to my parents, the judge, etc.

***cliffs:

Took a metaphorical bullet for a friend, arrested for DUI even though I wasn't driving. Your thoughts?

[ThatOneAccord]

Wait why'd you lay your head on the drivers airbag? Also this sucks...for the both of you.

[Bullhorn7]

Id do it for my best friend.

[steelbluesleepR]

how the fuck did you only get a $50 fine?

[h22sparkle]

Friends don't let friends drive drunk. Be thankful you didn't get both him and yourself killed. Don't do it again or next time you might not be so lucky. Someone upstairs really must love ya because they let you stay and play just awhile longer.

[H311RA151N]

He laid his head on the airbag to make it look like he was driving.



I would say you are a good friend. I just hope your soon to be state trooper friend doesn't continue to drink and drive. I understand the new thing to do is take your police car to a restaurant drive through and raise havoc while belligerently drunk however, it's still not a great idea if you know what I mean.

I deal with intoxicated people a few nights a week most weeks. That's a part of my "job" or duties unfortunately. I understand you were not driving but if you were drunk enough to black out that's a little much. You probably have something to gain from going to SATOP or whatever they have there in NY. The fair deal is that he's paying for it which he should. He owes you more than that honestly but at this point that's about all he can do.

As for coming clean about the incident, if you were to go that route you both would have the possibility of facing additional charges, withholding evidence, aiding a criminal, interfering with an arrest and I'm sure there are more charges they could rack up on you guys and would be glad to after they found out you lied to them.

You guys had a screw up. Just learn from it and go on. Hopefully you knew to go the hard route and are doing whatever you need to do so this doesn't end up on your record. I know someone who rents houses and they won't even rent a house to someone who has had a DUI in the last 5 years.

Your friend really needs to do some thinking. Hopefully he remembers this after he becomes a state trooper, maybe he won't act like a pecker head like most of 'em.

Do I think you should have taken the blame? Hell no. Not even if your friend was going to work at Walmart for the rest of his life. You guys made a bad situation worse. But like I said, learn from it and move on. That's the right thing from this point on. Correct it.

[zmanwit90accord]

Id do it for my best friend.

Nice to know I'm not alone. Thanks.

how the fuck did you only get a $50 fine?

Beats me. Good karma? My lawyer worked out a deal that as long as I plead guilty to the infraction, the prosecutor wouldn't object any further and I could go about my life. Car is gone and my license is suspended for 8 months but we're alive, no one was seriously hurt, and I'm not in any financial or legal trouble.

Wait why'd you lay your head on the drivers airbag? Also this sucks...for the both of you.

He laid his head on the airbag to make it look like he was driving.



I would say you are a good friend. I just hope your soon to be state trooper friend doesn't continue to drink and drive. I understand the new thing to do is take your police car to a restaurant drive through and raise havoc while belligerently drunk however, it's still not a great idea if you know what I mean.

I deal with intoxicated people a few nights a week most weeks. That's a part of my "job" or duties unfortunately. I understand you were not driving but if you were drunk enough to black out that's a little much. You probably have something to gain from going to SATOP or whatever they have there in NY. The fair deal is that he's paying for it which he should. He owes you more than that honestly but at this point that's about all he can do.

As for coming clean about the incident, if you were to go that route you both would have the possibility of facing additional charges, withholding evidence, aiding a criminal, interfering with an arrest and I'm sure there are more charges they could rack up on you guys and would be glad to after they found out you lied to them.

You guys had a screw up. Just learn from it and go on. Hopefully you knew to go the hard route and are doing whatever you need to do so this doesn't end up on your record. I know someone who rents houses and they won't even rent a house to someone who has had a DUI in the last 5 years.

Your friend really needs to do some thinking. Hopefully he remembers this after he becomes a state trooper, maybe he won't act like a pecker head like most of 'em.

Do I think you should have taken the blame? Hell no. Not even if your friend was going to work at Walmart for the rest of his life. You guys made a bad situation worse. But like I said, learn from it and move on. That's the right thing from this point on. Correct it.

At the time, I put my head down like why is this happening, in disbelief. I had no idea that would be the factor for my arrest.

I would say he definitely learned his lesson and took this whole situation to heart. He won't even have a single beer anymore if he plans on driving. He still feels incredibly guilty even though he's throwing every spare dollar at me. I'm sure this was a much needed learning experience.

I've been told that in a year, this case will be dismissed and it will be stricken from my record. I was also told that insurance will still be very high for me because this lingers for about 5 years in their background checks.

Friends don't let friends drive drunk. Be thankful you didn't get both him and yourself killed. Don't do it again or next time you might not be so lucky. Someone upstairs really must love ya because they let you stay and play just awhile longer.

Don't know if you read it or not but I wasn't driving. My lesson learned is to not drink as much as I did so I can better control the situation. I already know better than to drink and drive. I'm not sure if there's anyone looking out for me, my friend says it's good karma helping me out.

[ninethreecoupe]

He laid his head on the airbag to make it look like he was driving.



I would say you are a good friend. I just hope your soon to be state trooper friend doesn't continue to drink and drive. I understand the new thing to do is take your police car to a restaurant drive through and raise havoc while belligerently drunk however, it's still not a great idea if you know what I mean.

I deal with intoxicated people a few nights a week most weeks. That's a part of my "job" or duties unfortunately. I understand you were not driving but if you were drunk enough to black out that's a little much. You probably have something to gain from going to SATOP or whatever they have there in NY. The fair deal is that he's paying for it which he should. He owes you more than that honestly but at this point that's about all he can do.

As for coming clean about the incident, if you were to go that route you both would have the possibility of facing additional charges, withholding evidence, aiding a criminal, interfering with an arrest and I'm sure there are more charges they could rack up on you guys and would be glad to after they found out you lied to them.

You guys had a screw up. Just learn from it and go on. Hopefully you knew to go the hard route and are doing whatever you need to do so this doesn't end up on your record. I know someone who rents houses and they won't even rent a house to someone who has had a DUI in the last 5 years.

Your friend really needs to do some thinking. Hopefully he remembers this after he becomes a state trooper, maybe he won't act like a pecker head like most of 'em.

Do I think you should have taken the blame? Hell no. Not even if your friend was going to work at Walmart for the rest of his life. You guys made a bad situation worse. But like I said, learn from it and move on. That's the right thing from this point on. Correct it.

Pretty much all of this. ESPECIALLY considering he was planning on being a state trooper the thought should've never crossed his mind to do something like that. If I remember correctly you're not far off in age as me, and I know some friends (like mine) don't make good plans and its easy to lose track of stuff but when it comes to drinking you need to be dead sure someone is fully capable of driving without drinking. Drinking and driving really bothers me and I wish it wasn't so hard for people to grasp such a simple concept. Either way it seems you both feel like shit about it and you took the brunt whether intentional or not. Either way, can't do much about it now. Its happened. Your friend will have to grow up and keep the mindset he has now and the same for you. You guys came out with the best possible outcome excluding legal actions, you're both alive and you didn't kill an innocent woman.

And no offense but I find it hard to believe in good karma after both of you making the poor choice to get in a car after drinking.

[H311RA151N]

At the time, I put my head down like why is this happening, in disbelief. I had no idea that would be the factor for my arrest.

I would say he definitely learned his lesson and took this whole situation to heart. He won't even have a single beer anymore if he plans on driving. He still feels incredibly guilty even though he's throwing every spare dollar at me. I'm sure this was a much needed learning experience.

I've been told that in a year, this case will be dismissed and it will be stricken from my record. I was also told that insurance will still be very high for me because this lingers for about 5 years in their background checks.

Sounds like an SES or an SIS. SES is suspended execution of sentence. SIS is suspended imposition of sentence.

SES will show on your record upon the completion of probation.

SIS will not show a conviction upon the completion of probation.

I'm not trying to get into your business but it sounds like you don't really know for sure. But I'm telling you, be damn sure you know if it's going on your record or not. That's the most important things in this whole ordeal. If you have learned your lesson which it sounds like you have then there is no need to get ass raped by this deal years after the fact.

I myself had a screw up about 7 years ago. I was given the option of a felony conviction on my record and no jail or no conviction on my record and a little jail time. I'm soooo glad I chose to go to jail. It ended up I only did 48 hours because the judge thought I was smart to choose jail over a felony on my record. It showed him I had my future in mind.

We all fuck up man. Especially when we are young. I did. But having the shit scared out of me stightened me right up. It done me some good and I deserved my punishment. I earned every bit of it.