stupid sh*t off your head (NWS)...

[crazymikey]

So much for the stairway to heaven.

[GHOST 2.2]

[Ferocious Cake]

I think i have jock itch

[thepowderblue]

Fuck, a 400 fine and driving school!

[JFLEMING95]

Just trying to bring this funny thread back into the light

My right ass cheek has a HUGE blister on it

[GHOST 2.2]

i wanna bust a nut... but i cant get hard to get started.

[Leung]

I just won 3 bucks after spending two on scratch off tickets. yeah i can go buy another fountain drink now

[dysfunk]

I pooped blue once. Not like, dark blue, but not pastel blue. Just blue. It wasn't exactly solid either, but not quite liquid.

[GHOST 2.2]

its not stupid, but i cant get this song outta my head.

[nine_deuce]

Sometimes when I'm laying in bed trying to sleep, I'll decide to rub one out, right as I'm about to unleash the demon, I'll slap the shit out of my wife and say something like... oh yeah, you like this, don't ya, bitch!

[redlined302]

hey let me know how my balls taste.

[nine_deuce]

Today I was getting ready for work, felt a bit of a gurgle in my stomach, just ignored it and went about my business. The longer I sat there, the worse the pain got, so I decide fuck it! Let's evacuate the bowels. I go in, drop trowel and plant my ass on the seat of the porcelain throne, about that time I feel what I later realized was a contraction, it's go time! I start checking the time between these contractions and realize, they're coming about every 30 seconds. I decide at the next one, I'm going to bear down and deliver. I was 3 or 4 pushes into it when I felt another contraction coming on, so I bear down, grab behind my knees and give her hell. I felt this thing coming, it was taint ripping, vein bulging hell. I took a breather, felt another contraction, put my chin to my chest, grabbed behind my knees again and pushed for what it was worth. I felt it crown and with 1 more good push, this thing flopped out into the toilet like a baby seal coming out of a cow's pussy. I was so relieved but at the same time I had to sit there and breathe, beads of sweat were dripping off of my forehead. Then I realized, this was a post shower shit and I had no time to reshower before work. FML!!

[crazymikey]

Today I was getting ready for work, felt a bit of a gurgle in my stomach, just ignored it and went about my business. The longer I sat there, the worse the pain got, so I decide fuck it! Let's evacuate the bowels. I go in, drop trowel and plant my ass on the seat of the porcelain throne, about that time I feel what I later realized was a contraction, it's go time! I start checking the time between these contractions and realize, they're coming about every 30 seconds. I decide at the next one, I'm going to bear down and deliver. I was 3 or 4 pushes into it when I felt another contraction coming on, so I bear down, grab behind my knees and give her hell. I felt this thing coming, it was taint ripping, vein bulging hell. I took a breather, felt another contraction, put my chin to my chest, grabbed behind my knees again and pushed for what it was worth. I felt it crown and with 1 more good push, this thing flopped out into the toilet like a baby seal coming out of a cow's pussy. I was so relieved but at the same time I had to sit there and breathe, beads of sweat were dripping off of my forehead. Then I realized, this was a post shower shit and I had no time to reshower before work. FML!!

LMFAO. I was waiting for it to end with a prolapse.

[Ferocious Cake]

"I love this song! And I love it when amatuers sing the lyrics. But I hate baseball cards." - Adam West

[HenRoc]