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Old 09-30-2018, 10:20 AM   #21
Straight Success
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The editing process is coming along real smoothly like!
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Old 10-04-2018, 11:54 AM   #22
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Hopefully I can get it sent out to be copy written by the EOM.
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Old 10-15-2018, 12:11 PM   #23
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...and just like that, off to copyright.

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Old 12-18-2018, 09:15 AM   #24
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Old 12-18-2018, 11:09 AM   #25
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Ahhhh. Red pen, not-so-fond memories of school.
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Old 12-18-2018, 11:49 AM   #26
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sonikaccord View Post
Ahhhh. Red pen, not-so-fond memories of school.
This is really real. I had to do this to my entire novel. Talking about a tedious processs - all 122 pages or 78,000 words. Now, I'm typing all of these edits. It's a lot of work.
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Old 12-19-2018, 08:58 AM   #27
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This is just a teaser to hopefully wet your appetite.

"...Before anyone could release their clutch, all six helmets turned in unison to see what was approaching from around the bend. To their surprise, they saw a Ferrari 488 Pista, a Corvette ZR-1, a Lotus Exige, a Tesla Roadster, a BMW 1M, a Mazda RX-7, and a pro-touring 1967 Chevy II speeding around the twin north bound freshly paved lanes. The Ferrari and Corvette were leading the pack, while the Chevy II was calmly following the pack a few car lengths behind. As the cars exited the apex of the curve a few feet from where breakfast had just been eaten, the only thing that could be heard was the ear gratifying concerto coming from the steel and titanium exhaust pipes of those magnificently engineered machines. The soothing off pitched hum from the exhaust made the fluid in the six motorcyclists’ spinal cavities resonate sending a chilling yet soothing sensation throughout their bodies. The moment was so powerful and raw as the cars accelerated towards the exit marker, it made each person's body slightly pitch forward onto their toes in a slow climaxing gesture. The sound continued to carry on through the winding road as the cars moved away from the six motorcyclists.

What seemed like a millisecond later, small rocks and dust could be seen thrown into the air from the 200/55ZR17 Metzler Racetec RR mounted on the rear wheel of the Aprilia RSV4...."
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Old 12-19-2018, 02:38 PM   #28
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Are you having a professional editor tackle it after you've done your revisions? Just curious, I'm not sure if that's actually required or just recommended when going public with a book. It's just that to me, the choice and amount of metaphor is blurring the lines between Need for Speed and Fifty Shades of Grey. It makes for an odd combination, but then again, without having read everything leading up to that paragraph, I can't exactly tell how the story is styled.


And not to be that guy, but since writing is the topic at hand... it's "whet."
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Old 12-19-2018, 03:11 PM   #29
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Definitely. I have a professional editor on deck who will be receiving it after I'm finish typing my red pen edits.

I don't have a background in Literature/English/Writing/Editing. Mine is in engineering, and I know my lane. I know when I need to get a professional to polish something I have no expertise in. I learned many of the basics from the three English classes I had to take in college, but how often do I excercise what I learned oh so long ago on a novel level?

Nevertheless, thanks for the open and honest feedback.
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Old 12-19-2018, 04:12 PM   #30
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1M or M1??

I feel like this book is going to smell like catless exhaust fumes and gear oil. Keep it coming!
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Old 12-19-2018, 05:08 PM   #31
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The 1M. The little light guy that's hard to find.

Aside from the cars and bikes, there's some everyday real world sh!t addressed which is stuffed between the front and back covers. A good read for anyone who has ever had to work a 9-5, 3-11, 11-7, or had to earn a dollar by any means necessary.
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Old 12-19-2018, 08:39 PM   #32
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CyborgGT View Post
Are you having a professional editor tackle it after you've done your revisions? Just curious, I'm not sure if that's actually required or just recommended when going public with a book. It's just that to me, the choice and amount of metaphor is blurring the lines between Need for Speed and Fifty Shades of Grey. It makes for an odd combination, but then again, without having read everything leading up to that paragraph, I can't exactly tell how the story is styled.


And not to be that guy, but since writing is the topic at hand... it's "whet."
I agree with you. The metaphors are a little overwhelming. It doesn’t allow me to put myself in the scene because every feeling is being described that I can’t enough of the moment for myself. I think if the line where everyone is in a climaxing gesture was dropped it would be more appealing. Also I don’t think listing the tire size is necessary as it is just more information that I can’t use to paint my own picture when reading your book.


With that said, I am excited to read your book when it is released to the public and it does sounds like a kick ass car book. Looking forward to more!
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Old 12-19-2018, 09:35 PM   #33
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Interesting. I thought the author was supposed to paint a clear picture for the audience.

I'll definitely keep this advice in mind. My editor is a professional author/publisher, so I'm sure I'll get a lot of additional feedback.

I never knew something could be too decsriptive. BTW, I've been getting a lot of feedback from people of many different walks of life, and it's not the same at all. Some is really good, and it's some which could possibly be changed. This is an ongoing process until it's polished where it needs to be.

Oh, and BTW, it's not primarily a car book - actually a little ways off. Do you understand the significance of the tire size on the Aprilia RSV4?
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Old 12-20-2018, 01:01 AM   #34
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I have no idea what the tire size on any of the vehicles matters when reading a fictional book. Nor do I have a clue what a Aprilia RSV4 is. When buying tires for my car I absolutely care. Just some feedback Anthony. Also I agree with Nick on the above. Being a bit too descriptive, gotta leave some room for the readers to paint our own mental pictures.
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Old 12-20-2018, 08:35 AM   #35
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The advice is very well noted. I'll even send the comments to my editor, and I'm guessing I'll be asked why it is imporatant or unimportant. Ehhh, well see how much needs to change. It's a tedious process.

When I read, and there's something I don't understand or know the meaning of, I look it up. I guess we all do, right?





https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tNtnkeDcAUU

There ya go.
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Old 12-20-2018, 09:03 AM   #36
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Interesting. I thought the author was supposed to paint a clear picture for the audience.

I'll definitely keep this advice in mind. My editor is a professional author/publisher, so I'm sure I'll get a lot of additional feedback.

I never knew something could be too decsriptive. BTW, I've been getting a lot of feedback from people of many different walks of life, and it's not the same at all. Some is really good, and it's some which could possibly be changed. This is an ongoing process until it's polished where it needs to be.

Oh, and BTW, it's not primarily a car book - actually a little ways off. Do you understand the significance of the tire size on the Aprilia RSV4?
Hey Anthony, didnít mean to upset you, no I do not know the signifance behind the tire size and most people who read it probably wonít, unless your writing to a specific nitche of people. Also I didnít mean a full on car book. I should have be more clear. My understand of your book is kind of like a fast furious style. But we havenít been given a plot yet, like you read on the back of the book, so Iím going off what Iím told.
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Old 12-20-2018, 10:19 AM   #37
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I'm not upset at all.

I haven't wrote the synopsis yet, but to give you an overview, it's about a group of people living everyday real life struggles, everyday ups and downs, and there's an agenda to better something for people who live in today's world. There's good and bad, problems and solutions, happy and sad, action and history, sex and love, etc. There's a piece for everyone to enjoy. The cars and motorcycles add to the excitement.

It's based on realistic fiction.
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Old 12-20-2018, 12:09 PM   #38
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I'm not in the bike scene, but I know a size 200 series on a bike is something serious!! I also Googled the RSV4 when I initially read the excerpt. pretty nice piece of machinery there.

The wordplay is definitely heavy, but I wouldn't say excessive. It doesn't feel like you're trying to hard to be descriptive. Yes there is some redundancy, ( the word soothing used twice fairly close to each other) but It's a first run. He's not a career novelist.
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Old 12-20-2018, 12:40 PM   #39
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That is correct. Up until this year, a 200/55 was the largest tire with the biggest contact patch you could get for a sportsbike in its normal state. There is only one company, Pirelli, who now has a 200/60 for the street and it just popped up in 2018.

I see the redundnacy, and that's where my editor makes it all work together and shine. My red pen job was to check for tense, spelling, grammar, story flow, etc. If I was checking a 3D model and a 2D drawing/blueprint, then I'd be spot on.

The little things I missed which you all are picking up on is something my editor will also bring to light. Keep the feedback comming. I know it's a short paragraph, but whatever it takes to get it to where people are super satisfied as readers/consumers.

BTW, this is no easy feat.
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Old 12-20-2018, 08:43 PM   #40
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While I think itís a bit too much, I can gather the picture. Imagine a book full of ďThat boy was giving it full throttle, spittiní hot rubber off his meaty ass tires tattooing every spectators face on the bend.Ē While yes Iíd read that, itíll sound super ignorant the whole time

Regardless of the end product, I will buy it and read it to support you. Also guys.. 200mm is like 7.8ish inches wide. Thatís huge for a bike.
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