I'm gonna be strong about this but it does hurt, enough to actually make me cry sometimes...so, here goes...
Within the past month my turbo project has taken over most of all my freetime. Whether its installing a part or researching or whatever its taking alot of my time. The problem is that i also have a girlfriend named meredith. I've tried to get this project over and done with but things come up ya know. And within this past month i've noticed a slow change in my gf and her interest in me. Whats been happening lately is that i'm either too tired or just not interested in going out, clubbing, and so forth. I'm a loner, always have been always will be, I'm a blockbuster kind of guy that goes out occasionally to a movie, dinner, a club, different city, etc. Well she's becoming more of a partier lately and likes to hang out alot later than i'm willing to (8am-4:30pm job for me).
Although i'm not much of a talker i can certainly carry on a conversation but lately our convo's have only been about cars and our relationship she says. In this past month there has been a mutual friend of ours named Joe come into play. He is not by any means the culprit for what i'm about to tell you but he is the missing piece to the puzzle i put together...follow along. Joe is the adventurous type that seems to a have excitement follow him. Meredith and I have been hanging out with him over the past month and these last 2 weeks she's been hanging out with him every other day. She goes over and checks to see if he's at home at odd times of the day just because. Now i know she's not cheating for a fact so don't think that, i trust her, but whats been bothering me is that she likes the always zaney, off the wall, spontaneous personality more than she likes mine it seems.
The kind of person who goes out every other nite and does whatever ya know. Did u catch the puzzle i put together? Meredith + clubbing + wanting to leave the house more often + a spontaneous personality = troubled relationship. Last week she asked me and why we can't have fun like she does with joe, adam the leader of her dsm club, or my best friend jasmine. She feels like i'm too serious all the time, i don't show enough emotion, and that we don't talk about anything but cars really. Basically i was compared and asked why can't i be less bland. This past week has been filled with nothing but joe and she stays there pretty late, goes there after school, and has been known to spend entire days with him. Although i'm not jealous, the question of "so, who's company does she enjoy better?" has come up in my head. She's in a relationship with me but spends her time with him lately because he is more entertaining than i am.
I've been slacking on keeping the relationship exciting but she hasn't done to much to help it either. Sure she asks if i want to go out with her but its usually on a weekday night or a time when i'm tired or not feeling well. I've tried to meet her halfway on this too and have even gone to a *** club with her and her friends (she has alot of *** guy friends). But its not enough
. So brought all of this to her attention on monday i guess and she realized that she was unsure who's company she likes more. This isn't a fight over Joe and I at all as i stated b4 but rather what makes her happy. She smiles when she talks about him, she won't stop talking about him and so forth. I didn't want to be right about all of this but this afternoon she broke up with me. She said it really wasn't a break up just "time off" but it certainly feels like a break up to me. During the conversation we laughed, kissed, and made promises but in the end i don't think i'm what she wants anymore.
The thing i see with most relationships is that someone closes their eyes to something that is a problem but you can't see it if your eyes are closed. She gets on me for not confronting a problem right away but has closed her eyes to a decreasing interest in me
. I just talked to her stop mom after the break-up and she said meredith said " i don't know what i'm going to do for fun if he's not around." WTF...isn't that what this is all about u saying your not having enough fun with me! As u can see after my tears i've become angry...i can't remember which step this is in coping with loss lol.
I love my babygurl with all of my heart but she seems to want a more "exciting life" than i can give. So she decided to take "time off" and decide when she decides basically on whats gonna happen to us. She said we're still together but its just a cover-up on her dependency on me and unwillingness to let me go even tho it may be for the best. She doesn't want to lose me to another girl but depending on the time she takes to give me a definitive decision i may already be gone.
Mere has, to me, lost her identity and given up most everything she had interest in in exchange for my interests...i.e. cars. She denies she has lost her interests but even her parents see the difference in her. The irony of this entire thing is her overwhelming jealousy if i say i something like "i think i know that girl from somewhere" the comments i get from her go as far as "oh, did u fuck her too?" I mean i went to a big high school and familiar faces are everywhere and these are the reactions i get
. We actually live next door to each other and she knows all about my past but still feels the need to say such things to me. I've been with 2 girls...HER INCLUDED!!! We all thought the relatioship would end if i moved to another city or an apartment because of her jealousy, i was supposed to be the one to break up with her because of her jealousy but look whats happening now...didn't see this one coming lol. I asked for 2 weeks of not holding anything against me if i'm tired or have to research the turbo project more but she can't wait that long i guess...and broke up with me.
She's 18 and doesn't yet realize what she has in me, and that outgoing personalities come with a big price alot of the time.
1 year 1 month...theres more i'd like to say but i'm a little burntout on thinking about it...thanx for reading
Within the past month my turbo project has taken over most of all my freetime. Whether its installing a part or researching or whatever its taking alot of my time. The problem is that i also have a girlfriend named meredith. I've tried to get this project over and done with but things come up ya know. And within this past month i've noticed a slow change in my gf and her interest in me. Whats been happening lately is that i'm either too tired or just not interested in going out, clubbing, and so forth. I'm a loner, always have been always will be, I'm a blockbuster kind of guy that goes out occasionally to a movie, dinner, a club, different city, etc. Well she's becoming more of a partier lately and likes to hang out alot later than i'm willing to (8am-4:30pm job for me).
Although i'm not much of a talker i can certainly carry on a conversation but lately our convo's have only been about cars and our relationship she says. In this past month there has been a mutual friend of ours named Joe come into play. He is not by any means the culprit for what i'm about to tell you but he is the missing piece to the puzzle i put together...follow along. Joe is the adventurous type that seems to a have excitement follow him. Meredith and I have been hanging out with him over the past month and these last 2 weeks she's been hanging out with him every other day. She goes over and checks to see if he's at home at odd times of the day just because. Now i know she's not cheating for a fact so don't think that, i trust her, but whats been bothering me is that she likes the always zaney, off the wall, spontaneous personality more than she likes mine it seems.
The kind of person who goes out every other nite and does whatever ya know. Did u catch the puzzle i put together? Meredith + clubbing + wanting to leave the house more often + a spontaneous personality = troubled relationship. Last week she asked me and why we can't have fun like she does with joe, adam the leader of her dsm club, or my best friend jasmine. She feels like i'm too serious all the time, i don't show enough emotion, and that we don't talk about anything but cars really. Basically i was compared and asked why can't i be less bland. This past week has been filled with nothing but joe and she stays there pretty late, goes there after school, and has been known to spend entire days with him. Although i'm not jealous, the question of "so, who's company does she enjoy better?" has come up in my head. She's in a relationship with me but spends her time with him lately because he is more entertaining than i am.
I've been slacking on keeping the relationship exciting but she hasn't done to much to help it either. Sure she asks if i want to go out with her but its usually on a weekday night or a time when i'm tired or not feeling well. I've tried to meet her halfway on this too and have even gone to a *** club with her and her friends (she has alot of *** guy friends). But its not enough
. So brought all of this to her attention on monday i guess and she realized that she was unsure who's company she likes more. This isn't a fight over Joe and I at all as i stated b4 but rather what makes her happy. She smiles when she talks about him, she won't stop talking about him and so forth. I didn't want to be right about all of this but this afternoon she broke up with me. She said it really wasn't a break up just "time off" but it certainly feels like a break up to me. During the conversation we laughed, kissed, and made promises but in the end i don't think i'm what she wants anymore. The thing i see with most relationships is that someone closes their eyes to something that is a problem but you can't see it if your eyes are closed. She gets on me for not confronting a problem right away but has closed her eyes to a decreasing interest in me
. I just talked to her stop mom after the break-up and she said meredith said " i don't know what i'm going to do for fun if he's not around." WTF...isn't that what this is all about u saying your not having enough fun with me! As u can see after my tears i've become angry...i can't remember which step this is in coping with loss lol.I love my babygurl with all of my heart but she seems to want a more "exciting life" than i can give. So she decided to take "time off" and decide when she decides basically on whats gonna happen to us. She said we're still together but its just a cover-up on her dependency on me and unwillingness to let me go even tho it may be for the best. She doesn't want to lose me to another girl but depending on the time she takes to give me a definitive decision i may already be gone.
Mere has, to me, lost her identity and given up most everything she had interest in in exchange for my interests...i.e. cars. She denies she has lost her interests but even her parents see the difference in her. The irony of this entire thing is her overwhelming jealousy if i say i something like "i think i know that girl from somewhere" the comments i get from her go as far as "oh, did u fuck her too?" I mean i went to a big high school and familiar faces are everywhere and these are the reactions i get
. We actually live next door to each other and she knows all about my past but still feels the need to say such things to me. I've been with 2 girls...HER INCLUDED!!! We all thought the relatioship would end if i moved to another city or an apartment because of her jealousy, i was supposed to be the one to break up with her because of her jealousy but look whats happening now...didn't see this one coming lol. I asked for 2 weeks of not holding anything against me if i'm tired or have to research the turbo project more but she can't wait that long i guess...and broke up with me. She's 18 and doesn't yet realize what she has in me, and that outgoing personalities come with a big price alot of the time.
1 year 1 month...theres more i'd like to say but i'm a little burntout on thinking about it...thanx for reading
Girls can make you laugh and smile.....or make you naucious or want to cry, they are a confusing animal.
stay at home kinda guy - not crazy or spontanous).
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