So over the last year me and my girlfriend are in what seems to be a never ending fight. We are going to a psychiatrist to try and fix our issues. It all started when she started to become a little too friendly with a medic friend of her's. Nothing happen, but for a while her mom, co -workers, and me were accusing her. Then she told me she wanted an open relationship, we talked it out and for awhile things got better. Yes were in an open relationship but neither of us has used it. Well she told me she late and missed her period all I could say was OH. I was told last Friday about it and Wednesday she finale had enough and laid into me about it ( I hadn't asked if she got the results back). What started this new fight was because on fb I have her listed as my gf, she didn't like it because well were fighting and things are up in the air so to speak. I use to be very jealous and the last couple days after the missed period thing I have been very quiet waiting to ear for her the results. I haven't asked because I get why. When she laid into me about not asking. She told me that's because I am asking about things that are not my business. So I just don't know how to go about this anymore. I love and have been with her for 5 years. I have told her I am sorry for saying, asking, and accusing her of cheating. My gf like's to hold things inside her till she pop's. She asked all her friend's and they said they would be asking question and saying more then just oh. I told her that we had talked about kids in the past and we said they would be aborted. That wasn't the whole issues because of some of her conditions it could be a blood clot I told her I didn't even think of that. So now here I type trying to figure out this whole mess and save the women I love and the relationship we have. Any questions or comments are welcomed.
-
-
Sounds like you don't have a kid.
Get rid of her.Gary A.K.A. Carter
[sig killed by photobucket] -
after 5 years in a relationship id think long and hard before pulling the trigger on whichever decision u make
Comment
-
Chick doesn't sound worth the trouble bro; I assume you stick with her cause you haven't been w/a chick who's not a total PITA
There are chicks out there who won't kill you with the disloyalty/privacy issues this broad is needlessly slamming you with
Originally posted by lordojaComment
-
yea bro. if your always fighting now then shes not worth it. youll keep fighting for the rest of your life.
if shes pregnant then take care of the kid when it happens but dont let that be the reason for your relationship with her. im with g-man ^.
Comment
-
I hate to say it, but it sounds like one of you is taking advantage of the open relationship and the other one isn't. I'm going to be blunt and point out the key sentences that point at infidelity from your post and add my comments in red:
Originally posted by NorcoAccord View Post
I could be wrong, but these are pretty damning statements.Comment
-
-
Sounds like she puts herself first before the relationship involving both of you.
Just my opinion.
I'm not one to say "dump her" or anything like that, since we don't know the full story it's not really my place to say either way.
But be careful man, guard your heart..so to speak. I know you love her but you gotta also think about what may be best for you.
life is good.Comment
-
That's rough bro, If she does end up having a baby make sure you get that blood test done! If she's not pregnant drop her. Or you could end up with someone elses kid, or someone elses herpes. It was her idea to have an open relationship. That tells me that she wants to hook up with someone else without feeling guilty that she's in a relationship with you. Good luck with whatever you decide.
shortComment
-
Thank you guys. I do have a lot to think about. The 1st four year were great, then when she had to get off the pill for medical reason it started to change. I think this all blew up when her and medic were getting too close and his wife were planning to get a divorce. She told me weeks later after they stopped being friends that one night when they went out she asked if she could take him up on his offer, he pretty much blew her off. Things got better for a good 3 months and then started to go south again.
GF why do you me listed as your girlfriend in your profile? i don't have anything listed on mine. not single, not bf, not married nothing.
hello!!!!
Me juj
Her wtf is juj?
Me huh
would you like me to change it?
should i not have it up?
Her trying to figure out why you listed it considering before it always said "in a relationship" but now you specifically listed who. i don't have anything up. not "in a relationship, not married, not dating" wondering why you have it up now
Me when I upgraded my fb account i created it. Before I couldn't organize my friend list to friends co workers girlfriend.
Do you not like it?
her no i don't
me ok I will take it off
Just took it off.
Why don't you like it?
Her um....probably cause we still have a lot of issues
hello?!
me ok. Fair enough. Do you want to talk more about our issues
???
her i'm thinking....
me ok
her sure you start it off, where do you want to start about our issues
me Well 1st and foremost we are alot better then we were. I am not nearly as jealous as I once was. 2 You text me and respond back to a lot sooner, and when we were last with diane I was unfair to you, I was comparing how you text me and such to how you use to do it a year ago and thats not right. You are treating me a lot better. I still have a lot to work on like listing to you more when you say or express your feelings. When something bothers me I should tell you sooner and not be an ass.
Does that sound right, would you like to add or change anything on that
her i never treated you bad. sometimes you're better but in a lot of ways you're worse.
me How am I worst then I was?
Am I texting you too much again? Or is it because I am so quiet. If its that I just re-play threw my head a lot of times what did I dont wrong in the past and how do I fix that.
what did I do wrong in the and how to fix that.*
I try everyday to be better, then i was. Somedays I am someday I am not, but I want our relationship to work and blossom. I see what were going threw as a growing pain and there a lot of shit that we have to go threw but when we do we will be in great soil.
her like i said you're better & sometimes you're worse. i told you before that i don't get over shit easy which is why we're in limbo because i hold shit against you. i hate that diane had the guts to say "do what i have to to put your mind at ease" i should be able to txt you or tell you my day because i want to, not because i have to in order to put your mind at ease
i'm sick of having to tell you every little last detail because you think something slid through the cracks, every time i'm with you & on the computer or txting you want to know who it is & what's being said. the day i was talking to sally when we went to the dr with mom, you didn't say anything about it on the way there, while we were there, on the way home, but then all of a sudden you were like " what the hell are you talking to sally about, you've been txting all morning" like it's any of your business who i txt & for how long.
Rosanna is offline.
If you don't want to tell me something then don't. All I really want to know is if you had a good or bad day at work and if the peeps were cool. Yes I like to know the details but I try not to ask. you are right its none of business who you talk to or how long or what you talk to. I just am very curious, and after awhile I can't take it anymore and I just snap on the inside and have to know. I know you do not need to tell me. Its just a want on mine.
like i said you're better & sometimes you're worse. i told you before that i don't get over shit easy which is why we're in limbo because i hold shit against you. i hate that diane had the guts to say "do what i have to to put your mind at ease" i should be able to txt you or tell you my day because i want to, not because i have to in order to put your mind at ease
i'm sick of having to tell you every little last detail because you think something slid through the cracks, every time i'm with you & on the computer or txting you want to know who it is & what's being said. the day i was talking to sally when we went to the dr with mom, you didn't say anything about it on the way there, while we were there, on the way home, but then all of a sudden you were like " what the hell are you talking to sally about, you've been txting all morning" like it's any of your business who i txt & for how long.
then i found out you had the guts to tell sally "you'd like to know what me & her could possibly talk about for hours on end." it's none of your business what i talk about with sally, mike, larry. if i want you to know i'll tell you, but not because i have to stroke your ego. sally isn't me & she won't defend or justify things to you like i do.
& when i told you i was a week & a half late & had bloodwork ordered i expected a little more out of you than "oh." being that you know i have crohns & the factor 5 which could give me blood clots if i were to get pregnant all you had to say was "oh." for as much as you want to talk about your thoughts & feelings, & my thoughts & feelings, you didn't have a fuckin' thing to say the one time i expected you to say something. i figured maybe you were scared but right up til today you still haven't said a thing about it which is fine since you probably got my results from the girls in the lab anyway, not that i care. so while you were quiet the last few days not having anything to say to this, i've been been quiet too thinking everything over.
i asked both mike & larry what they would have said in this situation & both said they would discuss it & have more to say than "oh." & this is why mike & larry are my 2 best friends, i can go to them with anything & they know me. you & me were talking about getting married but after 5 years together you thought i was cheating on you, i have to give you a rundown of my day in order to make you feel better, & now you don't have anything to say to me when i said i was a week & a half late knowing it could give me blood clots that could kill me...but then again you already said it all when it comes to this, you said "i was overthinking it" & you're right i am overthinking it because it's my life in danger not yours. that about up our issues
I didn't ask because I wanted you to tell me, and No I dont if or if your not pregnant. I am very concerned but when I ask question latly I get WHY. Shit its killing me inside not knowing and yes I am worried but then I thought if your pregnant you already told me you would get an abortion, if its a blood clot (didn't enter my mine) Its very scary. Hell I was talking to a guy and he said he has one in his leg and now he has to be on a blood thinner the rest of his life.
My computer is saying your offline it says you have been offline sine 436 thats why I texted you.
which should have been even more reason to ask me. you get WHY all the time because you ask me questions that aren't important like who i'm talking to & what's being said. this one was important & should have been the one time you asked me questions. i'm tired & going to bed since i have to work in the morning.
Ok dear sweet dream and I hope to hear from you tomorrow.
Monday I asked Sally if she knew anything, she told me no, and then texted you, she asked why I am going don't I want to know, and yes I want to know, but I want her to tell me. I told I could find out if I really couldn't take it she reminded me that you need to tell me, and don't steal it from you. Lisa and I talked and I told her its driving me nut's not knowing whats going on. I wanted to ask before we hanged up earyler but I thought I was on speaker phone and that's the last thing I want to say and have your dad over hear it. All I can say is Sorry for not asking, sorry only thinking of myself, sorry for being an idiot. I also talked to sally and she told me I might be smothering you and that's another reason why I have been so quiet. That's why I wait for you to invite me over to were you sit or why when I come over to your house I see your parents 1st and talk with them. Yeah I wanna go give you the biggest hug in the world and tell you I love you and how much you mean to me. But I don't know when to hug you when to love you or when to leave you alone. So I stand back and let you take charge that way I know its ok to do this or that. Rosanna I love you with ever ouch of my being and that's why stand here today. I wanna talk and ask questions, but I know if you don't want to talk you won't.
nothing feels natural with us anymore. it all seems forced. like we're trying too hard. i tell you things because i feel like i'm force to in order to put your mind at ease, & you aren't comfortable around me because you don't know when to hug me or not sure what to say. we're both having to walk on eggshells, & i'm sure you hate it as much as i do
as far as asking sally my results, that ticks me off more because if it was bothering you so bad (after your initial reaction of basically "whatever") that you could go to sally & lisa, why the hell couldn't you come to me & ask me? what's that say about us? you went to sally & lisa for help, & i went to mike & larry when we should have went to each other. i figured you'd go to sally, which is fine but i knew that so i went to them
I have been thinking about egg shells to. I believe were both off Friday. I would like to go out Friday and talk in person a place of your choice with who ever you want there. I want to make our relationship better but I am unsure how to go about it and need your help. If you want to save it and make it better we need to do this.
For all my screw-up's you have been there for me, when you were finding out about all your conditions and when you thought you were going crazy I was there for you, now lets be here together on this. All I can say is I love you, right now it may not seem like it, but I do. When I look into your gaze I still fall in love all over again. I want to save our relationship but you have to want to do it to. I know if we get through this hurdle it's all uphill from here on out. Things will get better the sun will come out and vampires will twinkle.Last edited by NorcoAccord; 12-15-2010, 12:50 PM.Comment
-
im with the gman. dump her. it will only get worse. i should follow my own wordsComment
-
Find another chick and bounce man. Thats what happens did you by any chance spoil her? Girls are like mushrooms man you feed em shit and keep them in the dark. Btw less is more it's the thought that counts you do too much she wont respect it and will keep wanting more over the limit.Originally posted by NorcoAccord View Post
To make it a bit more interesting call her and cut the convo down to about 15 minutes and let her call you. Try not to think about her too much busy yourself with other things and watch how they flock to you. Let her know she is not the only oneout there but dont tell her directly, they get pissed about that and will also flock to you because they know you know that they are not the only chick in the world man that's how it is.
There's too many females out there who would be willing to want the things you want and do the things you want to do without all the hassle. It just depends on what your willing to put up with. The situation your dealing with now only gets worse overtime,my stong advice to you man to man would be to just leave but on good terms and dont ever call her back. If she calls you tell her your busy and cant talk right now. Even if she's crying other the phone dont because thats the trap. Most of all dont make no kids with her because if you do your screwed.Comment
-
just read everything.its a no brainer.dump her
and stay away
Comment
-
how long have you known her before you were together?
Comment
-
Comment