So today I was at my girlfriends house having fun.
We went into her kitchen to make some food. Her dad was in there adding cheese to buns
I stood off to the side and she asked if it was ok to use the microwave.
He said sure, possibly sarcastically. She started microwaving her food, and he got upset that she came in and stared making her food while he was making his.
Semi big argument ensued and he went downstairs while her food cooked. When it was done and we were leaving he called up from the basement (in a possible about to cry voice) asking if she was done interrupting etc. It seemed in an effort to continue the fight. They shouted back and forth while we made our way to her room. We got there and stared talking about it. I mentioned that I'm the only other male in the house and if he starts getting rough I'm obligated to do something about it, which would put me in a very very awkward situation.
As if on cue, I her him running up the stairs into her room. He barged in, and the way the room is set up I was stuck directly behind him while he shouted at her. I tried to inch backwards as much as I could, but my back was up against a wall. Her other sister and mom appeared. They finished shouting at each other, all the while my senses were tingling that a fight was about to break out. Thankfully, nothing happened.
We sat in her room while she finished her pizza. Her sister appeared and started asking us what happened. We told her and she was questioning why he overreacted like he did. Again, as if on cue, he appeared in the doorway. He started in a shouting match with her sister. Eventually her sister tried to leave (possibly a bad move?). He was blocking the doorway so she couldn't. My girlfriend and her sister started up the shouting again, volume on par with the dad. Her mom appeared and also started shouting.
Now, throughout most of this I tired to keep my eyes averted. As I said earlier I was trying to avoid a confrontation. This was no exception. But, when mom appeared and started shouting dad sounded like he got physical. Girlfriend and sister started over there trying to separate them. There was a wall in between us so I couldn't see. There dogs also appeared and I tried to keep them out of it. After the brief scuffle they separated. I was still in the bedroom. The dad locked eyes with me and said simply, "leave". I gathered my things, said my goodbyes and left.
To me, this whole situation is silly. The basis of the argument is silly. Shouting above and beyond it is silly. Getting physical over food is silly.
I got texts afterwards that said this sort of thing is normal. I'm 90% this is an abusive situation. I responded to the texts by offering what should be the standard advice. Things like, call me if you need me, if you want to stay here or need a ride call me, if things get out of hand call the cops. Each time I got the reply that this sort of thing is normal.
So I guess I should form some questions.
I don't mean to inflate my ego, but unless this guy secretly knows some crazy karate if it comes down to it I will win a fight without a problem.
1. If it comes to a fight, should I fend him off with the intent to leave? Fend him off until he stops attacking?
2. During the fight situation, I would've liked to say something so completely out of this world that it distracted them from the fight so they could take a step back and see what they're doing. But I don't have any ideas that don't sound ridiculous. Perhaps shouting "I just shit my pants!"
3. I also thought about offering a pat on the shoulder accompanied with a "Hey man, what's going on?" But he is quite a bit older than me, and that would make me seem like his equal, which could possibly provoke violence.
4. He is a calm guy most of the time. However, tonight he was drinking, and I guess this is a normal drinking thing. Should I try to do anything about that?
Again, any advice is appreciated. I tried to keep my thoughts in order and clean, but it's a lot of info.
We went into her kitchen to make some food. Her dad was in there adding cheese to buns
I stood off to the side and she asked if it was ok to use the microwave.
He said sure, possibly sarcastically. She started microwaving her food, and he got upset that she came in and stared making her food while he was making his.
Semi big argument ensued and he went downstairs while her food cooked. When it was done and we were leaving he called up from the basement (in a possible about to cry voice) asking if she was done interrupting etc. It seemed in an effort to continue the fight. They shouted back and forth while we made our way to her room. We got there and stared talking about it. I mentioned that I'm the only other male in the house and if he starts getting rough I'm obligated to do something about it, which would put me in a very very awkward situation.
As if on cue, I her him running up the stairs into her room. He barged in, and the way the room is set up I was stuck directly behind him while he shouted at her. I tried to inch backwards as much as I could, but my back was up against a wall. Her other sister and mom appeared. They finished shouting at each other, all the while my senses were tingling that a fight was about to break out. Thankfully, nothing happened.
We sat in her room while she finished her pizza. Her sister appeared and started asking us what happened. We told her and she was questioning why he overreacted like he did. Again, as if on cue, he appeared in the doorway. He started in a shouting match with her sister. Eventually her sister tried to leave (possibly a bad move?). He was blocking the doorway so she couldn't. My girlfriend and her sister started up the shouting again, volume on par with the dad. Her mom appeared and also started shouting.
Now, throughout most of this I tired to keep my eyes averted. As I said earlier I was trying to avoid a confrontation. This was no exception. But, when mom appeared and started shouting dad sounded like he got physical. Girlfriend and sister started over there trying to separate them. There was a wall in between us so I couldn't see. There dogs also appeared and I tried to keep them out of it. After the brief scuffle they separated. I was still in the bedroom. The dad locked eyes with me and said simply, "leave". I gathered my things, said my goodbyes and left.
To me, this whole situation is silly. The basis of the argument is silly. Shouting above and beyond it is silly. Getting physical over food is silly.
I got texts afterwards that said this sort of thing is normal. I'm 90% this is an abusive situation. I responded to the texts by offering what should be the standard advice. Things like, call me if you need me, if you want to stay here or need a ride call me, if things get out of hand call the cops. Each time I got the reply that this sort of thing is normal.
So I guess I should form some questions.
I don't mean to inflate my ego, but unless this guy secretly knows some crazy karate if it comes down to it I will win a fight without a problem.
1. If it comes to a fight, should I fend him off with the intent to leave? Fend him off until he stops attacking?
2. During the fight situation, I would've liked to say something so completely out of this world that it distracted them from the fight so they could take a step back and see what they're doing. But I don't have any ideas that don't sound ridiculous. Perhaps shouting "I just shit my pants!"
3. I also thought about offering a pat on the shoulder accompanied with a "Hey man, what's going on?" But he is quite a bit older than me, and that would make me seem like his equal, which could possibly provoke violence.
4. He is a calm guy most of the time. However, tonight he was drinking, and I guess this is a normal drinking thing. Should I try to do anything about that?
Again, any advice is appreciated. I tried to keep my thoughts in order and clean, but it's a lot of info.
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