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    #31
    The 1M. The little light guy that's hard to find.

    Aside from the cars and bikes, there's some everyday real world sh!t addressed which is stuffed between the front and back covers. A good read for anyone who has ever had to work a 9-5, 3-11, 11-7, or had to earn a dollar by any means necessary.
    Last edited by Straight Success; 12-19-2018, 06:15 PM.
    The Lord watches over me!

    "...they did the bowties, I did the ascots, as much as I have, I'm still reppin' the have nots..."

    - So Raspy

    Comment


      #32
      Originally posted by CyborgGT View Post
      Are you having a professional editor tackle it after you've done your revisions? Just curious, I'm not sure if that's actually required or just recommended when going public with a book. It's just that to me, the choice and amount of metaphor is blurring the lines between Need for Speed and Fifty Shades of Grey. It makes for an odd combination, but then again, without having read everything leading up to that paragraph, I can't exactly tell how the story is styled.


      And not to be that guy, but since writing is the topic at hand... it's "whet."
      I agree with you. The metaphors are a little overwhelming. It doesn’t allow me to put myself in the scene because every feeling is being described that I can’t enough of the moment for myself. I think if the line where everyone is in a climaxing gesture was dropped it would be more appealing. Also I don’t think listing the tire size is necessary as it is just more information that I can’t use to paint my own picture when reading your book.


      With that said, I am excited to read your book when it is released to the public and it does sounds like a kick ass car book. Looking forward to more!
      Last edited by Grumpys93; 12-20-2018, 09:11 AM.
      ~Nick~
      FSAE (F Series Accord Enthusiasts) ..."A dying breed thats taking it to the next level" Lucky #13
      MR Thread:http://www.cb7tuner.com/vbb/showthre...ight=Grumpys93

      Comment


        #33
        Interesting. I thought the author was supposed to paint a clear picture for the audience.

        I'll definitely keep this advice in mind. My editor is a professional author/publisher, so I'm sure I'll get a lot of additional feedback.

        I never knew something could be too decsriptive. BTW, I've been getting a lot of feedback from people of many different walks of life, and it's not the same at all. Some is really good, and it's some which could possibly be changed. This is an ongoing process until it's polished where it needs to be.

        Oh, and BTW, it's not primarily a car book - actually a little ways off. Do you understand the significance of the tire size on the Aprilia RSV4?
        Last edited by Straight Success; 12-19-2018, 10:38 PM.
        The Lord watches over me!

        "...they did the bowties, I did the ascots, as much as I have, I'm still reppin' the have nots..."

        - So Raspy

        Comment


          #34
          I have no idea what the tire size on any of the vehicles matters when reading a fictional book. Nor do I have a clue what a Aprilia RSV4 is. When buying tires for my car I absolutely care. Just some feedback Anthony. Also I agree with Nick on the above. Being a bit too descriptive, gotta leave some room for the readers to paint our own mental pictures.
          Last edited by Rilas; 12-20-2018, 09:15 AM.
          MRT: 1993 Honda Accord SE Coupe (Lola)

          Comment


            #35
            The advice is very well noted. I'll even send the comments to my editor, and I'm guessing I'll be asked why it is imporatant or unimportant. Ehhh, well see how much needs to change. It's a tedious process.

            When I read, and there's something I don't understand or know the meaning of, I look it up. I guess we all do, right?





            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tNtnkeDcAUU

            There ya go.
            Last edited by Straight Success; 12-20-2018, 09:49 AM.
            The Lord watches over me!

            "...they did the bowties, I did the ascots, as much as I have, I'm still reppin' the have nots..."

            - So Raspy

            Comment


              #36
              Originally posted by Straight Success View Post
              Interesting. I thought the author was supposed to paint a clear picture for the audience.

              I'll definitely keep this advice in mind. My editor is a professional author/publisher, so I'm sure I'll get a lot of additional feedback.

              I never knew something could be too decsriptive. BTW, I've been getting a lot of feedback from people of many different walks of life, and it's not the same at all. Some is really good, and it's some which could possibly be changed. This is an ongoing process until it's polished where it needs to be.

              Oh, and BTW, it's not primarily a car book - actually a little ways off. Do you understand the significance of the tire size on the Aprilia RSV4?
              Hey Anthony, didnít mean to upset you, no I do not know the signifance behind the tire size and most people who read it probably wonít, unless your writing to a specific nitche of people. Also I didnít mean a full on car book. I should have be more clear. My understand of your book is kind of like a fast furious style. But we havenít been given a plot yet, like you read on the back of the book, so Iím going off what Iím told.
              ~Nick~
              FSAE (F Series Accord Enthusiasts) ..."A dying breed thats taking it to the next level" Lucky #13
              MR Thread:http://www.cb7tuner.com/vbb/showthre...ight=Grumpys93

              Comment


                #37
                I'm not upset at all.

                I haven't wrote the synopsis yet, but to give you an overview, it's about a group of people living everyday real life struggles, everyday ups and downs, and there's an agenda to better something for people who live in today's world. There's good and bad, problems and solutions, happy and sad, action and history, sex and love, etc. There's a piece for everyone to enjoy. The cars and motorcycles add to the excitement.

                It's based on realistic fiction.
                The Lord watches over me!

                "...they did the bowties, I did the ascots, as much as I have, I'm still reppin' the have nots..."

                - So Raspy

                Comment


                  #38
                  I'm not in the bike scene, but I know a size 200 series on a bike is something serious!! I also Googled the RSV4 when I initially read the excerpt. pretty nice piece of machinery there.

                  The wordplay is definitely heavy, but I wouldn't say excessive. It doesn't feel like you're trying to hard to be descriptive. Yes there is some redundancy, ( the word soothing used twice fairly close to each other) but It's a first run. He's not a career novelist.

                  YouTube Clicky!!

                  Comment


                    #39
                    That is correct. Up until this year, a 200/55 was the largest tire with the biggest contact patch you could get for a sportsbike in its normal state. There is only one company, Pirelli, who now has a 200/60 for the street and it just popped up in 2018.

                    I see the redundnacy, and that's where my editor makes it all work together and shine. My red pen job was to check for tense, spelling, grammar, story flow, etc. If I was checking a 3D model and a 2D drawing/blueprint, then I'd be spot on.

                    The little things I missed which you all are picking up on is something my editor will also bring to light. Keep the feedback comming. I know it's a short paragraph, but whatever it takes to get it to where people are super satisfied as readers/consumers.

                    BTW, this is no easy feat.
                    Last edited by Straight Success; 12-20-2018, 03:34 PM.
                    The Lord watches over me!

                    "...they did the bowties, I did the ascots, as much as I have, I'm still reppin' the have nots..."

                    - So Raspy

                    Comment


                      #40
                      While I think itís a bit too much, I can gather the picture. Imagine a book full of ďThat boy was giving it full throttle, spittiní hot rubber off his meaty ass tires tattooing every spectators face on the bend.Ē While yes Iíd read that, itíll sound super ignorant the whole time

                      Regardless of the end product, I will buy it and read it to support you. Also guys.. 200mm is like 7.8ish inches wide. Thatís huge for a bike.

                      Comment


                        #41


                        As much as I wanted to put things in that context, I always had to tell myself, don't do it. Don't sound ignorant to your audience.

                        I can't stop laughing because that's so real.

                        I tried to at least keep it on some type of articulate level to not make me seem uneducated and ignorant. I'm sure we've all seen our fair share on the forum over the years - probably social media as well.
                        The Lord watches over me!

                        "...they did the bowties, I did the ascots, as much as I have, I'm still reppin' the have nots..."

                        - So Raspy

                        Comment


                          #42
                          Lmao right?

                          I feel like if I wrote a book, itíd be like when Peter wrote erotic novels..
                          https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=4MtLLkTtWJs

                          Comment


                            #43


                            The wonderful world of creative minds.

                            You know, writing the book and staying focused to see it through to the end wasn't necessarily the hard part. The hard part was and still is conveying the story in an articulate way to where people can understand and follow along while being creative to keep their attention. As a career problem solver, this is a whole new world of problems to solve. Problems of which I have only very basic and simple tools to get the job done. My thinking is more geared towards math, science and details.
                            The Lord watches over me!

                            "...they did the bowties, I did the ascots, as much as I have, I'm still reppin' the have nots..."

                            - So Raspy

                            Comment


                              #44
                              That's my problem. I'm an engineer, not a people person and I feel that needs to change, immediately. My wife says I'm very sociable, maybe perception isn't reality here...

                              YouTube Clicky!!

                              Comment


                                #45
                                I used to think I was one of those engineers who was still cool with everyone, but...

                                ...it's a balance for us.
                                The Lord watches over me!

                                "...they did the bowties, I did the ascots, as much as I have, I'm still reppin' the have nots..."

                                - So Raspy

                                Comment

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