No announcement yet.

Some Atlanta, GA Humor

  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    Some Atlanta, GA Humor

    i figured i'd post this email i got in this section figuring us SE'erners would most likely find it mildly humorous and/or understand at all. enjoy.

    This is for anyone who lives in Atlanta, Georgia, has ever lived in Atlanta, has ever visited Atlanta, ever plans to visit Atlanta, knows anyone who already lives in Atlanta, or knows anyone who has ever heard of Atlanta.

    Atlanta is composed mostly of one-way streets. The only way to get out of downtown Atlanta is to turn around and start over when you reach Greenville, South Carolina.

    All directions start with, "Go down Peachtree" and include the phrase, "When you see the Waffle House." Except, that in Cobb County, where all directions begin with, "Go to the Big Chicken."

    Peachtree Street has no beginning and no end and is not to be confused with:

    Peachtree Circle
    Peachtree Battle
    Peachtree Place
    Peachtree Corners
    Peachtree Lane
    New Peachtree
    Peachtree Road
    Old Peachtree
    Peachtree Parkway
    West Peachtree
    Peachtree Run
    Peachtree Terrace
    Peachtree Avenue
    Peachtree Industrial Boulevard
    Peachtree Commons
    Peachtree Park

    Atlantans only know their way to work and their way home. If you ask anyone for directions, they will always send you down Peachtree.

    Atlanta is the home of Coca-Cola. Coke's all they drink there, so don't ask for any other soft drink unless it's made by Coca-Cola.

    The gates at Atlanta's Hartsfield International Airport are about 32 miles away from the Main Concourse, so wear sneakers and pack a lunch.

    The 8a.m. rush hour is from 6:30 to 10:30 AM. The 5pm rush hour is from 3:00 to 7:30 PM. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday afternoon and lasts through 2am Saturday.

    Only a native can pronounce Ponce De Leon Avenue, so do not attempt the Spanish pronunciation. People will simply tilt their heads to the right and stare at you. The Atlanta pronunciation is "pawntz duh LEE-awn."

    And yes, they have a street named simply, "Boulevard."

    The falling of one raindrop causes all drivers to immediately forget all traffic rules. If a single snowflake falls, the city is paralyzed for three days and it's on all the channels as a news flash every 15 minutes for a week. Overnight, all grocery stores will be sold out of milk, bread, bottled water, toilet paper, and beer.

    If you're told to go to Bankhead Highway and can't find it, It's because the name is Veterans Memorial but the locals still call it Bankhead.

    Also, once the road you're on crosses another road, the name of the road you're on changes. Some roads names change every half mile or so.

    I-285, the loop that encircles Atlanta, which has a posted speed limit of 55 mph (but you have to maintain 80 mph just to keep from getting run over), is known to truckers as "The Watermelon 500."

    Don't believe the directional markers on highways. I-285 is marked
    "East" and "West" but you may be going North or South. The locals identify the direction by referring to the "Inner Loop" and the "Outer Loop." If you travel on Hwy 92 North, you will actually be going southeast.

    Never buy a ladder or mattress in Atlanta. Just go to one of the interstates and you will soon find one in the middle of the road.

    The last thing you want to do is give another driver the finger, unless your car is armored, your trigger finger is itchy and your AK-47 has a full clip.

    Possums sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.

    There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Georgia.

    There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Georgia, plus a couple no one has seen before.

    If it grows, it sticks. If it crawls, it bites.
    If you notice a vine trying to wrap itself around your leg, you have about 20 seconds to escape, before you are completely captured and covered with Kudzu, another ill-advised "import," like the carp, starling, English sparrow, and other "exotic wonders."

    It's not a shopping cart, it's a buggy. "Fixinto" is one word (I'm fixinto go to the store).

    Sweet Tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're 2 years old.

    "Jeet?" is actually a phrase meaning "Did you eat?"

    If you understand these jokes, forward them to your friends from Atlanta, Georgia and those who just wish they were.

    Lordy, I love Jawja.


    And it is truly amazing how much of this is actually true...slighty skewed in certain areas, but overall true.
    "This is a jaded bunch. To gain notice, you have to challenge conventional wisdom, test assumptions, and ignore the naysayers."

    FS Part out thread koni/skunk2 suspension, jdm pole, HID retrofit, Tanabe exhaust


      Thats a good laugh



        the naming everything peachtree is not just an atlanta thing

        In northern GA, Blairsville, everything is called either ivylog or gumlog or even a mixture

        still really funny though

        174.92 BHP / 171.45 WTQ


          that's why i stay out of the big city, lol. later.
          Avoiding dirt at all costs



            ^a really cool site IMO.


              i'm not in atlanta anymore, but it's still hilarious!

              Originally posted by k-mart
              wow, very interesting. looks like someone put a lot of time and effort into it.

              absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.


                Originally posted by uncle_el
                wow, very interesting. looks like someone put a lot of time and effort into it.
                yea Elliot, i am fascinated by that well as the city of Atlanta as a whole as of late.

                (thats a lot of as's. )


                  Nice one, I've been here nearly two years, and reading this two years ago would have saved me many a stupid conversations and questions. It's all very true and funny, especially if your from the north. L8r all
                  Turbo H23a3 build has begun


                    I just came back from norcross today, i was with the GF visiting her family. Damn there are way tooo manny cb7's thank goodness im home cause im the only half decent cb around here.

                    Dr. Jekyll by day Mr. Hyde by night
                    02 Pontiac Firebird W68
                    92 Dodge Stealth RT/TT


                      rice is abundant in GA. all kinds, and then they are the few rarities of clean cars followed by expensive cars.