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**JDMxDB8** · 08-15-2008, 04:24 PM

Communication is key. And trust too.

**Pandemic** · 08-15-2008, 04:27 PM

I've been in a long distance relationship (LDR) for three years. Now my Fiancee is in Japan. Different area codes? Try different time zones, 13 to be exact (+13).

To make it work requires a lot of understanding. When you get to talk you have to pay attention to the conversation in order to make it a quality conversation. Try to figure out when to visit. I usually visited every 6 weeks or so. You have to be honest and trusting... kinda sounds like marriage :P

Do you have any questions in particular?

**coletrain** · 08-15-2008, 04:33 PM

I've been in a long distance relationship for 3 years now. It was very hard at first. We hung out everyday for a long time, then went to see eachother every 2-3 months. It was very hard. Communication is probably the biggest thing, and trust. Try and never get left in the dark with her life. It's also hard to talk everyday but most of the time, if you show the girlfriend that your faithful and trustworthy and care about the relationship, it'll work out.

As far as the whole cheating thing is concerned. When I was away from my girlfriend, I wasn't around too many girls. The school I went to was private, very hard and a male oriented major........so there wasn't much down time to party and meet people. I think if your bord and around girls and stuff, it'll be harder to keep your "cool" if you know what I mean.

**Leung** · 08-15-2008, 06:20 PM

I had a long distance relationship with a girl in Chicago for 5 years in which in the last 2 years of it i started driving up to her every other weekend almost.
Then on the nights where i wasn't in Chicago, we'd be talking on the phone for almost 2 hours everyday.

If anyone else hasn't mentioned it, these kind of relationships require HUGE amounts of trust i kid you not. Mine ended because i started becoming paranoid when i started seeing threads where guys were flirting with her.. and then there was one time where i logged into her account on that forum and found out she had met up with a local guy and read all her PMs to the guy... I didn't tell her i logged into her account and then one fateful day i got that phone call saying she didn't need me anymore. To this day i still think a part of me died after that call. I know there are more girls out there but this one and i clicked in so many ways plus i had invested 5 years into already.

This October would mark 5 years since we broke up... and honestly i've been on only one date( well at least in my mind i thought it was a date) to date since the break up.

**King James** · 08-15-2008, 06:42 PM

Thanks for the replies guys...the communication thing is the least of my worries...for the last 6 months we have talked pretty much everyday...and over the last month we've talked for at least 3 hours a day

The cheating thing isn't a problem for me...I've been cheated on before and ya it sucks but its not the end of the world.

I don't believe that she would ever cheat on me...and I would never cheat on her

I thought it would be harder to maintain a long distance relationship than just making sure we talk as much as possible

Thanks again guys

**J-specCb4** · 08-15-2008, 08:11 PM

my gf lives in stl and i live in chicago.... we been together almost 2 years.....

never been happier.

**deevergote** · 08-15-2008, 08:26 PM

Talk when you can, and make sure all the time you spend together is quality time. Don't allow any sort of resentment (even if it's you resenting your job...) Make it as positive as possible. It can work. mchaley made it work for 3 years, and she just recently said yes to the biggest of big questions... so yeah, that worked

It won't necessarily work for everyone, and every person is different... so just feel it out. Communicate, and hope she communicates back.

Also, Jenna and Ralphie are ones to add to the list.

**Pandemic** · 08-15-2008, 09:11 PM

I'm also planning on moving to Japan for a year or two (with her)

Get a webcam, sometimes that helps. You can see her environment or what she's been up to, etc.

**King James** · 08-15-2008, 10:06 PM

I know I won't let any resentment get in the way...mainly because even if I'm having the worst day when I come home and talk to her I forget about anything that's going wrong

The webcam thing is a good idea too...the good thing for me is I know that this is only temporary being This far apart...I might be home as early as September...but it also might take a year...doubt itd be longer than that

I'm glad to see so many people have had successful long distance relationships...makes me feel better that I'm not the only one crazy enough to try it haha

**Gyuri87** · 08-15-2008, 10:28 PM

Ok now I know a lot of people think it's crazy but I'm in a long distance relationship to and it's with someone on the other side of the world. When I mean the other side I totally mean it. It's a girl in Australia. I've known her for about 3 years now and I like it the way it is. It was pretty random but it happened. I never found someone with a suitable personality over here not that I've been looking very hard but I was always very busy. I'm not the type of person that goes clubbing all the time and meets new people everyday. I never believed in LDR and never thought I would be involved in one but it has happened. I've been there once and I just loved it. The country is simply pure beauty and so is the girl

She has also come down here once and enjoyed it. It is hard sometimes because of the big difference of time and also because of the unfordable plane tickets but I'm fine with it now. You don't get shit from the girl all the time since you don't see her a lot

and at the same time it allows you to do your own things till next time I see her. It has also given me the opportunity to travel and discover a whole new world really and it was quiet pleasant. I was there for three and a half weeks and really I've seen everything I could within that period of time but not a hundredth of what there really is. Australia is simply beautiful. Click on my signature picture and see for yourself.

**heartbreaka72** · 08-16-2008, 05:18 PM

Originally posted by King James View Post

I know there has to be a few people on here whove been in a long distance relationship.....and actually made it work

The only one Ive ever been in wasnt even that long distance....We were only like 2 hours apart but we still saw each other pretty much everday....mainly cuz she was psycho and had me driving there every day to make sure I wasnt cheating on her......needless to say this relationship didnt work out.

But now Im with a girl from back home....and shes pretty much exactly like me but with boobs.....and I actually really like her so im hoping that its gonna work out.

I am trying to get transfered back home.....Not strictly for her but she does play into it....I dont know when that will happen though.....Im also hoping that since weve never been a couple while in the same province that will help since we dont know what its like to be together every day

Anyways anyone on here wanna give some tips or advice to help make it work....It would be appreciated.

me and ralphie were in one for the start of our relationship, the rest year and a half. he was in the military in georgia, and i was in new york. we saw each other every 5 weeks for about a week or so the first 6 months, and then after i graduated college i would come for like 2 months at a time...

you def have to talk on the phone, stay in contact, try to visit as much as possible...

if you both dont put the work it, the relationship will fail miserably. long distance relationships are extremely hard. me and ralphie made it work, but it wasnt easy..

we planned to see each other alot, we talked on the phone for hours at a time, and we ealized that this relationship would only worked if we put effort into it...

so thats my advice...discuss it with your significant other. you both must decide how much you want to be with each other, and if you decide to go for it, then you must be ready to put real work into it!

**quickangel93** · 08-16-2008, 05:27 PM

ive been in 2 long distance relationships and they didnt work out. one lasted for 5 months, then she just decided it wasnt going to work out (she was 1 hr away) and the other was 2 hrs away. and that didnt last long cus we barely saw eachother. so idk. i just dont like long distance relationships. id rather bang my gf every night.

**King James** · 08-16-2008, 05:41 PM

Originally posted by quickangel93 View Post

ive been in 2 long distance relationships and they didnt work out. one lasted for 5 months, then she just decided it wasnt going to work out (she was 1 hr away) and the other was 2 hrs away. and that didnt last long cus we barely saw eachother. so idk. i just dont like long distance relationships. id rather bang my gf every night.

im pretty sure anybody in a relationship would....but im not gonna be with someone just cuz they have a close proximity to me

Anyways the phone thing is a thought.....but neither of us are much for talking on the phone haha.....We talk literally for hours on MSN though.

I think the hardest part will be the next few months....cuz shes moving and staring a new job in a few weeks so shes not gonna be able to visit me till everything gets settled there......and with my job its impossible to get time off work right now.......but after january i get 4 weeks of holidays so i can put those to good use.

Im planning on being closer by then though.

**MikeW** · 08-16-2008, 07:00 PM

What if you're going from living together for 4 years, then it turning into an LDR? How does that work?

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