hurts like hell

[jboyce]

my girl broke up with me last week, i told myself i was'nt gonna bitch about it on here but it's gotten to be too much to handle. i havent eaten a full meal in 3 days, i cant sleep for shit, i'm constantly crying or ridiculously sad, i can't even hang out with my friends cause i'm so miserable. all i do is sit at home and then go to work. what REALLY sucks is that i still live with her cause i have nowhere else to go until i get enough money to get my own place...either that or i have to move FAR away to live with my mom, which i really don't wanna do. and it's not like i can go stay at my moms for a couple days to clear my head cause i'll loose my job if i do. also i think because of my not eating something is wrong...i constantly feel like i'm going to puke, i took a sip of soda and actually gagged and kneeled over like i was gonna puke, i forced myself to eat today...but all i could stomach was half a cheeseburger and a couple fries. i feel so sick right now

basically i guess over the past couple weeks her feelings changed, she said she doesn't have those 'feelings' anymore, like in the beginning, like she said she isn't 'in' love with me anymore, but she still loves and cares about me. the day after we broke up she still kissed me and cuddled with me at night, but after a couple days, now we dong hang out, hug, kiss, cuddle or anything. we sleep in the same bed but we used seperate blankets. it hurts so bad because just a few weeks ago she was talking about moving out with me and this future we were supposed to have...now she wants time to herself. it also hurts cause it seems like she doesn't care at all, she just goes and hangs out with her friends all day, says she needs space from me...which is cool and all, but i just wish it wasn't over. i think about this everysecond of the day, i even dream about it, and when i wake up i think us breaking up was just a dream for a second, then i realize it wasn't and i get hella depressed. i just don't know what to do, she says she still wants to be friends and hang out n shit, but it's too hard to be around her right now, but i told her i'de rather be a friend then nothing at all, so i'm trying my hardest to be nice to her, but a part of me hates her for what she's done to me. i just wish this was a phase or something...how could she just throw away 2 years and not even shed one tear, the only time she cried was when i was crying, other than that she doesnt seem sad at all....what the hell is going on? any ideas, i need help bad...i can't live like this!

[jboyce]

also what should i do, should i just ignore her...or keep trying to get with her...or give her space or what...today i made her a CD of love songs, i just don't know what to do to better my chances to get back with her...if that's even a possibility now.

she said she can't see herself with one person for her whole life, she has too much she's gonna do in life and she's too young blah blah. but shit, how can all her feelings change in a week or two!

[King James]

man same thing happened to me at the start of august...it sucks but find sumthin for you to do other then just sit around...work on your car, hang out with friends...just dont sit there wonderin why and how cuz it doesnt help you move on. If you make it seem like your doin fine then it may make her change her mind about stuff. But take it from me as soon as you do find sumthin to consume your thoughts the days get alot easier.

[wed3k]

dont ignore her but treat her with respect. she made her own choice and respect that, she'll understand and not become a huge "EX" bitch...hopefully everything will work out and you'll at least be friends and talk to each other.

but yea, that was weird how she changed everything in a couple weeks...hang in there man, talk to fellow cb7 tuner's...

[zipcreature]

OUTCH man jboyce I am really sorry to hear about this brother. I know you have really strong feelings towards your ex because when you and her were dating we gave you hell about it and you stood up for her. Now you are single, and in a bad situation. I would say just for the first couple of weeks give her COMPLETE space. She wonts this time to clear her head and think about things. If you and her are going to get back together then it will probably happen in these first few weeks - IF she has her space to think about things without your ass bugging her. :/
If she decides you are who she wants right now then thats awesome, and you should fuck that night like never before!
If not! You'd have to respect her choice and keep your distance and get back to your friends. I know that it would suck, but if you don't keep yourself occupied with friends, or your car, then your mind will rest oh her and you'll be bothered by things she might be doing.
I suggest long drives, listening to music ALOT and spending time with your friends and esp your best guy friends. And man, jboyce you know we are here for you if you want us.

- Zipcreature

[minoreparations]

And man, jboyce you know we are here for you if you want us.

that didn't sound right.

[gloryaccordy]

Dude once a girl's gone she'll never come back, or it'll take something extraordinary to get her back. Me and my ex broke up a week ago (I got the vibe that she wasn't in love w/me anymore, +long distance woes, I was right) and it's been nothing but drama that's mostly been my fault. She blocked me on AIM, and I imagine if I call she won't pick up. She already hooked up with some random dude. Truth be told, I'm fucking miserable and all scrambled as well, but that's more just because I'm hurting from knowing that she was in love with me, and now she won't even talk to me. It's like WTF? even though a lot of it is def. my fault.

But my only advice to you is don't try to make things work with someone who doesn't want to be with you. Don't devalue yourself that way and be so desperate. I mean right now I'm like 'man who can I find that will top my ex? she was the best thing to happen to me' but time goes on, and better things WILL happen to me if I'm patient and I don't fucking go crazy. Love sucks. When it's good it's the most beautiful thing in the world, and you can't believe it, and it takes your breath away, but when shit gets ugly, esp. when its your first love, man it really sucks. I've been questioning my existence and self-worth ever since I found out she hooked up with that dude, like I was just a smudge of dust on her blackboard.

But fuck it man...I'm at a low point right now, living with my parents and without a real job(I'm @ Pep Boys and at their medical office...doing like 50 hours a week now+ signing up for premed classes and shit)...but I'm striving. All I can do is be close with my family and work to make progress in my life. And in any case I still have my homies. I sent her some money and stuff I had to give her, and on a card I wrote "Love is transient (temporary, dependent on time) but friendship is forever"...meaning bitches come and go, but with friends, family and goals man you have everything you need. Remember man, there was a jboyce before your girl and there's still one after...you're still in one piece. And the next girl you meet will literally fall into your lap...you won't see it coming but when she comes hopefully it'll be incredible. Trust me man. And just hold your head...and stay out of trouble. I know exactly what you're going through and it's fucking killing me too man. I feel like my gf died and was replaced by a stranger (she treats me as such...but I'm different now as well; just confused and hurt)...so I have to act as such and keep it moving. I wish you the best man and if you need to talk don't be scared to PM me.

-Yaw.

[Shadow1]

ur best bet right now would be give her the space she wants. i know it hurts when yall r sleepin 2gether at night and yall hav seperate blankets. its hard get over somethin like that. how old are yall? if yall r under 21 then its cool wit her sayin that she's too young. but if yall r like 23 or 24 then she must hav somethin she wants to do b4 she picks out one man 2 spend her life wit.

its not that she doesnt want 2 b wit u man, she probaly feels as though if she had a man 4 the rest of her life then that man would try to hold her back from what she WANTS to do in life before she tells her self :"now i can settle down and relax". dont be to anxious over it. was it anything that changed? was it you who changed? was it her? was it somethin you did or said? ask her what happened. b/c i know unless u did somethin 2 PISS her off then she's not going to throw aay 2years like that. and her cryin wit you that night is proof.

[jboyce]

i'm 20, she's 18...i know were young but still...it's not right that it ended this way.. there was no 'real' reason, just that she doesn't have those feelings anymore, no fights, i never cheated, nothin. we were getting along perfect the night before she broke it off wit me. so who knows, i'm tryin to give her space, i don't call her anymore, but when she's around it's hard to throw on a smile, but i try, i'm just gonna keep it cool and i guess in the end, i can still have her as a good friend, but damn this shit hurts so bad, and i know i will never find another girl like her, especially not as beautiful, shit's horrible.

should i quit with all the sad shit, like on myspace i have quotes from love songs and shit, should i just keep it cool or what?

[cyclonus_cb7]

Give it time ... 4eal

I've been there.

The feelings were the same but not the exact situation. It sucks, having that empty/sad feeling but it WILL go away.

Originally Posted by jboyce
... i told myself i was'nt gonna bitch about it on here ...

I like this site. It's a great community for all of us accord ppl. There's just way too many civics/integras out there oversaturating the market and it's nice to have a place for the accords. But cars isn't the only thing we all have in common so don't feel like you can't share -

Just have faith things will work themselves out in time. Make good decisions. If she still wants to be friends then respect that and get some space for yourself. Try hanging out/sleeping in the living room if the sleeping arrangement is too hard. If you have a cousin/friend/aunt or uncle not too far away, see if they will take you in. Spend time with your close friends - they'll understand. Just get out of the house and maybe that fresh air might do you some good.

[jboyce]

thx for the help guys, i'll try an get out more and just suck it up. what sucks is at my job i basically sit in one spot all night, so all i do is think about shit, gives me way to much time to mope about my situation. but i get to listen to music so that helps.

[texasvtak]

Man, you sound like I did about this time last year. So like everyone else, heres my experience talking. Put as much distance between you and her as you can. I dont mean ignore her completely. Long relationships usually end in friendship, even if theres bad blood for a while. Sleep on the couch. Going to bed with her then waking up next to her knowing shes not feeling what you feel isnt helping. Distance. Believe me I know how hard it is to think about anything else, but you have to. Distract yourself. But the main thing to do is to distance yourself from her. Do anything you can do achieve this. Read a book at work. Anything to get your mind off of and away from her. The worst thing you can do right now is to think about what happened, so think about what you will do.

[Laguna7]

Music is your best freind...

[texasvtak]

Music is your best freind...

The right music is.

[2.2litrebeater]

same thing happened to me word for word when i was 19. it sucks but she got over it before she even broke up with you, so she isnt coming back. i was down for like a month feeling like shit. i started smoking like a chimney and drinking like a fish and ditching out on my college classes, sitting there thinking about it all. those 2.5 years gone and how i had nothing but she seamed fine. all along this time she was out with her friends having a good time. what got me out of it was my car at the time, i started modding it and stopped thinking about her. now a few years later im with a much better girl and dont even give this old chick a second thought. i dont talk to her anymore which was for the better to help me get over it, i guess i could talk to her now if i had the desire to. anyway hope my story gives you something to relate to, ive been there and done that and as they say there are plenty of fish in the sea.