Bestman

[arrozburner]

well i was shocked to find out tonite that i was going to be the bestman in my best friends wedding...whats shocking about the whole thing is that my best friend is the bride and her fiancee (the dude) asked me over his friend that he has known since high school...she didnt know either that he was going to ask me to be the best man so she started to cry when he asked and i ofcourse accepted ... its freackin cool! her sisters are the maids of honor but im still tripping about me being the best man. now i have a question, for those who have gone through the whole wedding thing, other than the bachelor party (my other best friend has already volunteered to help with that) what is it that i do? any etiqute for bachelor parties? do i pay for the whole thing or do i ask for donations from the guests and stuff? im thinking about paying for the strippers and then having everyone else bring like beer and food and stuff...opinions please

[Tone-us]

I know your supposed to make a speech at some point? so have one ready just in case they ask you to say a little something.

[uncle_el]

well i was shocked to find out tonite that i was going to be the bestman in my best friends wedding...whats shocking about the whole thing is that my best friend is the bride and her fiancee (the dude) asked me over his friend that he has known since high school...she didnt know either that he was going to ask me to be the best man so she started to cry when he asked and i ofcourse accepted ... its freackin cool! her sisters are the maids of honor but im still tripping about me being the best man. now i have a question, for those who have gone through the whole wedding thing, other than the bachelor party (my other best friend has already volunteered to help with that) what is it that i do? any etiqute for bachelor parties? do i pay for the whole thing or do i ask for donations from the guests and stuff? im thinking about paying for the strippers and then having everyone else bring like beer and food and stuff...opinions please

1. you're there to support the groom- both before the wedding, and especially on the wedding day. you're his "right hand man", thus making sure he doesn't forget the ring, forget where to go, etc. etc.

2. bachelor party- set it up. whether it's strippers, just going to the club, going to a casino, whatever he wants to do really. paying for it depends on circumstances... i wouldn't expect to go to a bachelor party and not have to pay anything.

I know your supposed to make a speech at some point? so have one ready just in case they ask you to say a little something

assuming they (bride and groom) want you to say something, then i guess you'll have your chance. usually the best thing to do is just to tell the crowd what he and she mean to you, the significance of the day for you, and wish them well. as long as you keep it short and sweet, you'll be fine.

[SteveB]

http://www.frugalbride.com/bestmanduties.html
http://www.hitched.co.uk/roles/bestman/index.asp
http://www.weddingbells.com/help/bestmanduties.html
http://www.classic-weddings.co.uk/bestman_duties.htm

Get going, man.

[deevergote]

I would talk to the rest of the wedding party on the groom's side. You do the bachelor party arranging, but you can approach them for help money-wise if needed. I know I'm not expecting a big to-do for my party. Hell, a night with the guys, playing video games and drinking a few beers... that would work for me! It's up to you whether you want to make things a surprise, or if you want the groom's input.

As far as the speech goes, it's traditional that you say something at the reception... usually shortly after the wedding party comes in, and before the food. It'll be after the cocktail hour if they have one So that means you have to go light on the akahol until you make your speech! Fortunately, most of the guests should be nicely lit by then, so you won't have to worry about a tough crowd. Just get up there and say something. Like el said, just talk about the couple. Talk about how they met, how you observed them in their time together... The fact that you're best friends with the bride and talking on the groom's behalf (hopefully you know him well too) gives you lots to work with!

I knew a guy who, as best man, made a speech once saying "well, Mike is a little scary looking, and I don't know how he found a girl. But he did, and he married her... so I guess that's good." Don't do that!

[arrozburner]

im already trying to figure out what im going to say and im never short for words...i tend to make jokes when i get nervous so im hoping i dont go overboard...and im already planning on how to screw with her a bit at the ceremony (pretend to not be able to find the ring and then say "im just keeding" like the snl character) anyway...im going to look at the links steve posted (thanks). im going to talk to the groom today and see first what he wants to do for his bachelor party...if he tells me that its up to me then we're getting a stripper (or two) or maybe head to vegas...a couple of things i know for sure is that there is going to be booze, cigars (he smokes them on occasion) and everything else is up in the air...keep the comments coming

[uncle_el]

if he tells me that its up to me then we're getting a stripper (or two) or maybe head to vegas...

spearmint rhino.

[nghtrydr23]

pleasures down here on foothill hahah matt said they have lunch specials on steaks...hahahhaha

[arrozburner]

way ahead of you...but we want booze so im thinking about going to the spearmint rhino in torrance were they serve booze...well thats one option...taking a bus on those vegas trips is another (we can drink on the bus plus it include rooms) spending it at home with booze and billiards and poker with or without strippers is another

[uncle_el]

way ahead of you...but we want booze so im thinking about going to the spearmint rhino in torrance were they serve booze...well thats one option...taking a bus on those vegas trips is another (we can drink on the bus plus it include rooms) spending it at home with booze and billiards and poker with or without strippers is another

oh, i meant the spearmint in vegas. i've never been to the one in torrance. the only spearmint rhino i've been to in cali was in oxnard a few years back, and it definitely didn't compare with the one in vegas.

[arrozburner]

oh, i meant the spearmint in vegas. i've never been to the one in torrance. the only spearmint rhino i've been to in cali was in oxnard a few years back, and it definitely didn't compare with the one in vegas.

oh really...never thought about that...do they have booze there or is it like the ones over here that they only serve like soda?

[uncle_el]

oh really...never thought about that...do they have booze there or is it like the ones over here that they only serve like soda?

yep, they serve alcohol. the v.i.p. section is nice, but i think they charge $200 to reserve a table, i.e. make you buy a few bottles of moet or whatever else they have.

if memory serves me right, the ones here only serve soda because they're fully nude.

an alternative to vegas would be a weekend in santa barbara (not as far, at the beach, more low key). there's a spearmint rhino out there, but i think the soda problem would be there.

[arrozburner]

i need to talk to him but im leaning towards the vegas idea...get drunk on the way up there, relax for a lil bit and then go out at nite...get him real drunk on the way back and just drop him off at my friends house

[phatdoughnut]

first off, dont be a sissy bitch.

best quote ever, jajajaja!

sounds fun, i remember when i got married..