First paper due

[jboyce]

First english paper due, I havent written shit since highschool...we had to choose our own topics and the only thing i felt passionate about was art, so here is the result. anyone critique in regards to grammar or structure would be helpful...it's supposed to have like a topic sentence, clarifying sentences and all this shit that i don't know what it means.

"
I live for art, from the cryptic meaning in some elaborate painting, to placement of typography in an advertisement, or even the colors vandalized on the brick wall by your house. Its interpretation varies, and I notice its label being applied to increasingly vulgar atrocities. Its purity is slowly being drawn into a void created by minds of the perverse.

Art in my personal definition is an expression of an individual, however that it may be portrayed. Being as each peace is derived from an interminably expanding source (creative mind), the possibilities are eternal. To me art acts as an expressive tool, perceptions will remain ambiguous, some even skeptical…but to the person the piece originates from, it just may act as a blueprint to their entire soul. Do I believe there is a line? Of course, some people are unable to discern between art and the by-product of misinterpreted emotional expression. Carving a heart into your chest as you exclaim its physically expressive euphemism to love remains in my opinion sadistic. Painting a dot and advocating its relativity to solace isn’t art. The semantics of art are essentially indefinable, it will never be circumscribed or bound in meaning. As its evolution continues societies conceptions will either strengthen it’s essential ‘meaning’, or it may enervate its significance altogether.
"

[BlackMagicCB7]

Very "Artsy Fartsy" . Its actually a pretty good paper dude.

[f22a4bandit]

First english paper due, I havent written shit since highschool...we had to choose our own topics and the only thing i felt passionate about was art, so here is the result. anyone critique in regards to grammar or structure would be helpful...it's supposed to have like a topic sentence, clarifying sentences and all this shit that i don't know what it means.

"
I live for art, from the cryptic meaning in some elaborate painting, to placement of typography in an advertisement, or even the colors vandalized on the brick wall by your house. Its interpretation varies, and I notice its label being applied to increasingly vulgar atrocities. Its purity is slowly being drawn into a void created by minds of the perverse.

Art in my personal definition is an expression of an individual, however that it may be portrayed. Being as each peace is derived from an interminably expanding source (creative mind), the possibilities are eternal. To me art acts as an expressive tool, perceptions will remain ambiguous, some even skeptical…but to the person the piece originates from, it just may act as a blueprint to their entire soul. Do I believe there is a line? Of course, some people are unable to discern between art and the by-product of misinterpreted emotional expression. Carving a heart into your chest as you exclaim its physically expressive euphemism to love remains in my opinion sadistic. Painting a dot and advocating its relativity to solace isn’t art. The semantics of art are essentially indefinable, it will never be circumscribed or bound in meaning. As its evolution continues societies conceptions will either strengthen it’s essential ‘meaning’, or it may enervate its significance altogether.
"

I just need to make sure of one thing: Is this labeled as an opinion paper? If it isn't you need to write the paper in the third person.

Now for the editing:

I live for art; from the cryptic meaning in some elaborate painting, to placement of typography in an advertisement, or even the colors vandalized on the brick wall by your house. Its interpretation varies, and I notice its label being applied to increasingly vulgar atrocities. Its purity is slowly being drawn into a void created by minds of the perverse.

Art in my personal definition is an expression of an individual, however that it may be portrayed. Being as each peace (piece) is derived from an interminably expanding source (creative mind), the possibilities are eternal. To me art acts as an expressive tool, (.) Perceptions will remain ambiguous, some even skeptical, but to the person the piece originates from it may just act as a blueprint to their entire soul. Do I believe there is a line, of course. Some people are unable to discern between art and the by-product of misinterpreted emotional expression. Carving a heart into your chest as you exclaim its physically expressive euphemism to love remains, in my opinion, sadistic. Painting a dot and advocating its relativity to solace isn’t art. The semantics of art are essentially indefinable; it will never be circumscribed or bound in meaning. As its evolution continues, societies conceptions will either strengthen its essential ‘meaning’, or it may enervate its significance altogether.


This is a decent start. There are different ways of writing a paper. What year English are you taking, beginning or more advanced? I would advise that you clearly state what you're going to talk about in the introduction. Your topic sentence is in red. It's fine where it is at in the second paragraph. Clarifying sentences will basically be the subtopics that you are going to use to argue your point in your paper. These should follow quickly after your topic sentence so your professor doesn't have to search around for your points, and knock you down a few points on your grade. I wish I had an opinion paper that I could lend you to show you the ropes, but unfortunately I don't. I do have a couple of papers that have the basic structure that your professor may be looking for if you want me to send them to you. Just let me know if you need anymore help or advice. Good luck!

[jboyce]

I just need to make sure of one thing: Is this labeled as an opinion paper? If it isn't you need to write the paper in the third person.

Now for the editing:

I live for art; from the cryptic meaning in some elaborate painting, to placement of typography in an advertisement, or even the colors vandalized on the brick wall by your house. Its interpretation varies, and I notice its label being applied to increasingly vulgar atrocities. Its purity is slowly being drawn into a void created by minds of the perverse.

Art in my personal definition is an expression of an individual, however that it may be portrayed. Being as each peace (piece) is derived from an interminably expanding source (creative mind), the possibilities are eternal. To me art acts as an expressive tool, (.) Perceptions will remain ambiguous, some even skeptical, but to the person the piece originates from it may just act as a blueprint to their entire soul. Do I believe there is a line, of course. Some people are unable to discern between art and the by-product of misinterpreted emotional expression. Carving a heart into your chest as you exclaim its physically expressive euphemism to love remains, in my opinion, sadistic. Painting a dot and advocating its relativity to solace isn’t art. The semantics of art are essentially indefinable; it will never be circumscribed or bound in meaning. As its evolution continues, societies conceptions will either strengthen its essential ‘meaning’, or it may enervate its significance altogether.


This is a decent start. There are different ways of writing a paper. What year English are you taking, beginning or more advanced? I would advise that you clearly state what you're going to talk about in the introduction. Your topic sentence is in red. It's fine where it is at in the second paragraph. Clarifying sentences will basically be the subtopics that you are going to use to argue your point in your paper. These should follow quickly after your topic sentence so your professor doesn't have to search around for your points, and knock you down a few points on your grade. I wish I had an opinion paper that I could lend you to show you the ropes, but unfortunately I don't. I do have a couple of papers that have the basic structure that your professor may be looking for if you want me to send them to you. Just let me know if you need anymore help or advice. Good luck!

That's exactly the help I was looking for, I have trouble structuring my papers, I don't know about the topic sentences and clarifying and all that. It's been a while since highschool. If you could send me that paper that'd be great. I need an outline to use to write a few papers until I get a feel for it. I'm taking ENGL 101, i think it's beginner but i scored 99/100 on my placement test. I'm not sure how to use a clarifying sentence with the subject at hand...the paper was meant to be on whatever we wanted, pic a topic and write about it he said.

[jboyce]

also do you know "physically expressive euphemism to love remains" am i using euphemisn in the correct context here? euphemistic is like alternate meaning right? so hopefully i did that right.

I forgot to add earlier...do i have any clarifying sentences? I usually just write i don't think about what i'm doing.