Women issues....Need some advice.

[King James]

I will start off by saying this is not the typical "my girlfriend dumped me now im sad" thread....Although my girlfriend did dump me....after 3 years none the less...Shit happens tho...No point in dwelling on it.

My major problem is mainly timing....My ex-gf and I broke up about 2 weeks ago...but it wasnt really a finalized break up...It was more lets just see where things go....Now you must understand that my ex has been all over the place as to what she wants....One min she loves me...the next she hates me...really annoying and frustrating.

Ive been dealing with this shit for 2 reasons:
1) She was my first real girlfriend that I ever actually loved
2) Its been 3 years...I dont want to just let go of 3 years over nothing...(thats how I view her reasons for breaking up)

This is where the tricky part comes in....I recently started my summer job...12 hour shift work woooo....but I met this girl that really caught me off guard...She has all the same interests as me...She watches the same shows...reads the same books....we even mark our pages the same way...See where the bad timing comes in?

I dont want to seem like Ive been waiting for me and my ex to break up to go out with this girl...because I know how it feels when an ex is with someone else right away...It sucks...and I really dont want to cause pain to my ex-gf...I do love her....I do care about her....and up until I met this girl I thought that we would just somehow wind up together...kinda like destiny...or fate.

I also dont want this new girl to think that shes some rebound because I really dont think that she would be if we do pursue this any further.

I dont know what to do because I do still love my ex very much...but now that Ive met this girl I cant get her out of my head....I dont want to lead either girl on....Any help would be appreciated.


Thanks for reading.








Also on a lighter note my HID's come in on friday....I cannot wait....That will take my mind off of things.

[93accord-se]

i see what you are talking about i would say start talking to the new gurl....if you like her because you never know what going to happen with your ex..

[qbodsyt]

a lot of therapists have a 6 month or even 1 year rule about not dating after divorce.....I know you're not married, but three years is a long time time to be with a person to just up and start dating another girl without allowing time to heal/process the last long term relationship

everyone is different, but I somehow don't think it'd be fair to this new girl to start a relationship at this point if you or she wants a real relationship instead of just a fling. just my two cents. best wishes either way

[gloryaccordy]

I say keep the new girl on your radar... but odds are you won't be fully ready for a few months

[r0gergcm]

if u rush into the new one u will miss the ex and it will make the new girl look like trash in ur eyes.

done it twice.

[urgirl4life]

^^ very true. On the flip side of that, sometimes people expect things out of new partners that thier old partners had. You should try to take some time to heal, but keep this new girl with-in sight.

[Frazzums]

I say do it, i was in the same boat as you. I dated a my Ex for 2 1/2 yrs, we broke you she moved to another state blah blah blah. Of course i love her but people move on people change.


Move on and forget the past its less harsh on you.

[Straight Success]

Real Rap. From a guy who has, well let's say... Here is some good advice. 1st be honest with everyone, including yourself. Don't reveal all your cards to the girl you like, unless you both do it similtaneously. Be humble and patience. Patience is a virtue and it sometimes help you find answers ( damn I need to take my own advice ). And I have found that a 2 way 50/50 converstaion with either party is always a very powerful tool. Oh yea, and patience sometimes enable you to follow your heart. So, my advice is be patient and honest. Hope my words help. Good luck.

[npor]

bonk on that shit.

if you go with the other girl, on a date or whatever, two things can happen...


it can make the 3yr chick want you extra bad, be all "LOL I WAS KIDDING I DIDNT RLY WANNT BRREAK UP WIT U, LOVE ME PLZ"

or


she could be like
"hey fuck you, take that chick."
but still care and stuff.



oh well.


i'd go on a harmless date wit hthe new chick, just to have some fun.



i did it when me and my girl of a long time broke up, i went on a date with this fine ass chick. the fine ass chick was a dud, she was pretty lame. it felt like i was talking to my f22b in my garage.

needless to say, my girl of a while said "fuck that, be with her"

then tore herself up over it. im talking about she did drugs and shit just to get her mind off of me.

meanwhile, i'm chillin drug free like a villan on the beach with some cute hunnies.




tha's my story.



i regulated that bitch.


shes fat now too. she started smoking weed regurarly, and drinking every day. also picked up smoking cigs. she gained alot of weight. and she sounds like a complete idiot too.

jokes on her tho, cuz i'm with this fine chick who's cool as hell


happier than a mothafucka

[f22a4bandit]

Three years is a long time to be dating someone, and it won't be easy to get over your feelings for your ex for a while, but keep this new girl on your radar. The fact that your ex broke up with you says to me that she wanted to move on, and even though you think you still have a chance with her I would suggest not going back out with her. It took me a while to get over my first love, but I'm glad that I don't have anything to do with her relationship wise besides a friendship. Dating relationships will come and go. Dating around (but NOT immediately after a break up) will help you move on, and you'll probably discover someone better for you than your ex anyway. Best of luck to you.

[Frazzums]

I have shitty luck....when I'm in a relationship i have women left and right hitting on me and when I'm single well lets say.. I'm really desperate.

[King James]

Thanks for the replies guys.

My last relationship prior to my ex lasted for about a year i guess....Then 2 weeks after we broke up I was going out with my ex lol...Thats a completly different story tho cuz I had no feelings watsoever for the first girl.

I see everyones point in saying that Ill try and look for things from my past relationship in this new one (if it materializes)....but Im not really sure if that would happen tho....I mean this new girl is completly different than my ex-gf....There are pretty much opposites.

I dont know...Im just gonna chill for a while and do what Ive been doing...Harmless flirting that helps a 12 hour shift go by that much faster lol...I also doubt very much I will get back together with my ex....Too much drama....I do love her but after the shit weve been through the last few weeks I doubt a relationship would work anymore.




Ohhhhh ya I forgot to mention that Im going out with this new chick after work tonight...Her idea .....Well see where things go.

[phatdoughnut]

If you wait to long, someone could snatch up the new girl..... and then its to late.

[npor]

Ohhhhh ya I forgot to mention that Im going out with this new chick after work tonight...Her idea .....Well see where things go.

chea, get it.


honestly though, when i were in your position over a year ago, i said to myself.


"i can't sacrafice my happiness for her. i can't sit here absolutley miserable just so she can go out and have fun."

i liked her alot too, but you can't sacrafice your own happiness for her.

word.

[DOZER]

Well u say u love ur ex and shiit..but does she feel the same way about you?..that should really be the question..plus..talk to the new girl..u never know..