BEER VS. VAGINA
1.Beer is always wet. Vagina needs a little work.
One point to BEER
2.Warm beer tastes awful.
One point to VAGINA
3.A really cold beer is satisfying.
One point to BEER
4.If after taking a swig of your favourite beer you find a hair
between your teeth, you may vomit.
One point to VAGINA
5. If you get home reeking of beer your wife may get mad, make a scene, kick you out, etc. If you get home reeking of vagina your wife may get mad, kick you out, even leave you. There's definitely a point to be had here, depending on your point of view and personal circumstances.
I'll just call it a DRAW for the time being.
6. Ten beers in one night and you can't drive home. Ten vaginas in one night and you don't want to drive anywhere.
One point to VAGINA
7. If you have a lot of beer in a public place, your reputation may
suffer. If you eat any vagina in public, you become a legend.
One point to VAGINA
8. If a cop stops you and you smell of beer you may get arrested. If you smell of vagina he may buy you a beer.
One point to VAGINA
9. You normally don't find old beer.
One point to BEER
10. Too much beer and you'll think you see flying saucers. Too much
vagina and you'll think you've seen God.
One point to VAGINA
11. Ripping off a beer bottle label is boring. Ripping off panties is
fun. One point to VAGINA
12. In most countries there's a tax on beer.
One point to VAGINA
13. If you have another beer the first one never gets pissed off. One
point to BEER
14. You can always be sure if you're the first one to open a bottle or a can. One point to BEER
15. If you shake beer it'll get all agitated but eventually it
settles down. One point to BEER
16. With beer you always have choice: clear, dark,
pilsner,ale,lager,etc One point to BEER
17. You always know how much beer is going to cost
One point to BEER
18. Beer doesn't have a mother
One point to BEER
19. Beer never expects to be hugged for half an hour after you
drink it One point to BEER
Score So Far; Beer:10. Vagina:8
In Defense of Vagina...
There's no last call for vagina.
Vagina makes you hard, beer makes you soft.
You can get vagina in Kansas on Sundays and Holidays, but not beer.
It would be severely painful to f*** a beer can.
There has never been a time in American history when vagina was prohibited, and if there ever is, it will be the greatest depression.
Although vagina is addictive, it will not:
-Tear your family apart (unless you're a cheating bastard)
-Lead to jail time and/or rehabilitating classes (unless it's statutory..), -Physically change the shape of your cells, causing a seizuring withdraw symptom (unless it's the most amazing vagina in the galaxy)
It feels good when your penis throws up.
You can insert a beer bottle into a vagina, but you cannot insert your penis into a beer bottle. (this one is much funnier if you pretend John Cleese is reading it)
You can pick up a vagina at the bar. You can pick up a beer at the bar.
However, you can't take the beer home.
Although...I do have to give beer one point. It has the born-on-date, so after you drink it, it can't say, "I forgot to tell you, I'm only thirteen..."
So that's 10 more points for vagina, and only 1 more for beer, so by my calculations........Vagina:18 Beer:11
That's it! The matter is settled, the clear winner is: VAGINA!!!
GO VAGINA!!!!
PS: If you are a woman and at this point feel angry, degraded or
discriminated against, just remember that Beer would experience none of those feelings, let alone express them, an extra point for BEER...
1.Beer is always wet. Vagina needs a little work.
One point to BEER
2.Warm beer tastes awful.
One point to VAGINA
3.A really cold beer is satisfying.
One point to BEER
4.If after taking a swig of your favourite beer you find a hair
between your teeth, you may vomit.
One point to VAGINA
5. If you get home reeking of beer your wife may get mad, make a scene, kick you out, etc. If you get home reeking of vagina your wife may get mad, kick you out, even leave you. There's definitely a point to be had here, depending on your point of view and personal circumstances.
I'll just call it a DRAW for the time being.
6. Ten beers in one night and you can't drive home. Ten vaginas in one night and you don't want to drive anywhere.
One point to VAGINA
7. If you have a lot of beer in a public place, your reputation may
suffer. If you eat any vagina in public, you become a legend.
One point to VAGINA
8. If a cop stops you and you smell of beer you may get arrested. If you smell of vagina he may buy you a beer.
One point to VAGINA
9. You normally don't find old beer.
One point to BEER
10. Too much beer and you'll think you see flying saucers. Too much
vagina and you'll think you've seen God.
One point to VAGINA
11. Ripping off a beer bottle label is boring. Ripping off panties is
fun. One point to VAGINA
12. In most countries there's a tax on beer.
One point to VAGINA
13. If you have another beer the first one never gets pissed off. One
point to BEER
14. You can always be sure if you're the first one to open a bottle or a can. One point to BEER
15. If you shake beer it'll get all agitated but eventually it
settles down. One point to BEER
16. With beer you always have choice: clear, dark,
pilsner,ale,lager,etc One point to BEER
17. You always know how much beer is going to cost
One point to BEER
18. Beer doesn't have a mother
One point to BEER
19. Beer never expects to be hugged for half an hour after you
drink it One point to BEER
Score So Far; Beer:10. Vagina:8
In Defense of Vagina...
There's no last call for vagina.
Vagina makes you hard, beer makes you soft.
You can get vagina in Kansas on Sundays and Holidays, but not beer.
It would be severely painful to f*** a beer can.
There has never been a time in American history when vagina was prohibited, and if there ever is, it will be the greatest depression.
Although vagina is addictive, it will not:
-Tear your family apart (unless you're a cheating bastard)
-Lead to jail time and/or rehabilitating classes (unless it's statutory..), -Physically change the shape of your cells, causing a seizuring withdraw symptom (unless it's the most amazing vagina in the galaxy)
It feels good when your penis throws up.
You can insert a beer bottle into a vagina, but you cannot insert your penis into a beer bottle. (this one is much funnier if you pretend John Cleese is reading it)
You can pick up a vagina at the bar. You can pick up a beer at the bar.
However, you can't take the beer home.
Although...I do have to give beer one point. It has the born-on-date, so after you drink it, it can't say, "I forgot to tell you, I'm only thirteen..."
So that's 10 more points for vagina, and only 1 more for beer, so by my calculations........Vagina:18 Beer:11
That's it! The matter is settled, the clear winner is: VAGINA!!!
GO VAGINA!!!!
PS: If you are a woman and at this point feel angry, degraded or
discriminated against, just remember that Beer would experience none of those feelings, let alone express them, an extra point for BEER...
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