Guilty Feelings...

[AG17CB7]

Okay, so I just got off the phone with this girl. I met her when I lived in cali now I'm in alabama for college. Things were going well before and after i left. Just this month alone, things started getting shaky. Now I knew it was gonna happen cause bad shit happened last year around this time (broke up with an ex and cousin gets stabbed on halloween). Anyway, I call her and she's crying. I ask her what's wrong and no doubt she does the "it's nothing." bit. I keep pressing it because she's crying and all so I'm concern. Next thing I know, She says she can't trust me. I ask her why, and she tells me, "You don't answer your phone." Well, when you call me after 11pm, I might be sleeping. Of course, she makes it seem like I'm doing something else, which I'm not. So I tell her to just think it over and call me when you feel better cause I knew it was going to get worse. She tells me she has something to tell me. I tell not to hold back and say what's on her mind. She says she can't because I'm gonna find out sooner or later. I'm basically asking her why not tell me not instead of finding out later. She just keep saying "I can't, I can't". So now I'm thinking she did something.

After a couple minutes of going back and forth about her not telling me, she just yells over the phone "You'll find out sooner or later! Don't fucking worry about it! They'll tell you anyway!" Now I'm just sitting here thinking, what the fuck did she do that she can't tell me yet I have to find out by someone I probably don't know. I'm confused. I am venting but if you got an opinion on this fucked up story of mine, good or bad, say it.

Thanks for reading.

[93accordexcoupe]

shes a girl. she probly lost her phone or something and shes freaking out.

really though, i wouldnt worry too much about it. just stay out of her way till she cools off.

[deevergote]

Yeah, she might just have low blood sugar and be going nuts. Tell her to eat a cookie and chill the hell out.

The whole "I can't trust you" thing, and not being able to tell you anything... yeah... The chances that she's been messing with someone else are pretty good. People who develop trust issues for no good reason are usually doing it to justify their own deceitful behavior. I've been through it. Weird things become problems. Things that never happened become "reality" and you're to blame for them. It's all to justify something that she's not proud of doing. If she breaks up with you because she "can't trust you", then you won't break up with her for doing some other guy behind your back. Then, it was your fault, or at least "we had problems"... rather than "Oh, well, we were great... but rather than try to make our relationship work, I just did some other guy"


I could keep going. I'll stop here. I suppose I'm still a bit bitter myself.

[AG17CB7]

Yeah, she might just have low blood sugar and be going nuts. Tell her to eat a cookie and chill the hell out.

The whole "I can't trust you" thing, and not being able to tell you anything... yeah... The chances that she's been messing with someone else are pretty good. People who develop trust issues for no good reason are usually doing it to justify their own deceitful behavior. I've been through it. Weird things become problems. Things that never happened become "reality" and you're to blame for them. It's all to justify something that she's not proud of doing. If she breaks up with you because she "can't trust you", then you won't break up with her for doing some other guy behind your back. Then, it was your fault, or at least "we had problems"... rather than "Oh, well, we were great... but rather than try to make our relationship work, I just did some other guy"


I could keep going. I'll stop here. I suppose I'm still a bit bitter myself.

She does have diabetes. And, yes, we had a small discussion about me being with her because she's "sick". Honestly, I don't care about it. It didn't matter. But you do bring up a good point about the whole trust issue. I trusted her to go to a halloween party saturday. I don't want to think something happened. This does suck but it's a 50/50 feeling. I want to know what the fuck happened to where I don't have to wait.

[AG17CB7]

maybe she's pregnant and underage, and her dad found out. you're supposed to find out when the cops show up at your door

Lol. Not likely. But she's 23 so I wouldn't call that underage.

[deevergote]

I trusted someone for 9 years. Got burned twice... the last time, very, very badly. This last time, it's amazing how many "problems" we had, and how "fucked up" our relationship was, and how many things I did wrong... some of those things I never did. She spent 2 years convincing herself that we were unfixable, justifying her actions. She said she "wanted to make it work", yet she didn't stop.

We didn't have much wrong. Perhaps I didn't pay as much attention to her as I should have. That was, honestly, the only real thing I did wrong. Even that was partially her fault, because when I WANTED to spend time with her, she would seem totally not into it. It got to the point where I just stopped trying.

However, once the shit hit the fan, I got to hear the library of complaints. There were SO many things that I apparently did, or didn't do, that were partial or complete fabrications. All these things she used to justify the crap she was doing to me behind my back.


So yeah, sorry for the rant about my own situation... but when unfounded accusations appear, it's usually the result of a guilty conscience. Unless, of course, you've ever given her a reason not to trust you in the past.

[AG17CB7]

I trusted someone for 9 years. Got burned twice... the last time, very, very badly. This last time, it's amazing how many "problems" we had, and how "fucked up" our relationship was, and how many things I did wrong... some of those things I never did. She spent 2 years convincing herself that were were unfixable, justifying her actions. She said she "wanted to make it work", yet she didn't stop.

We didn't have much wrong. Perhaps I didn't pay as much attention to her as I should have. That was, honestly, the only real thing I did wrong. Even that was partially her fault, because when I WANTED to spend time with her, she would seem totally not into it. It got to the point where I just stopped trying.

However, once the shit hit the fan, I got to hear the library of complaints. There were SO many things that I apparently did, or didn't do, that were partial or complete fabrications. All these things she used to justify the crap she was doing to me behind my back.


So yeah, sorry for the rant about my own situation... but when unfounded accusations appear, it's usually the result of a guilty conscience. Unless, of course, you've ever given her a reason not to trust you in the past.

Your girl wouldn't have been a leo by any chance? I haven't done anything wrong. Yeah, maybe the whole "you don't pay enough attention to me" statement was bought up once or twice but I tried to be there as much as I could. Definitely seeing how I'm in alabama trying to make things better for my life and possibly hers if things got serious. She told me I'm not there for her when she needs me. Well, once again, I'm in bama and she's in cali. We started before I even moved so she should've known I couldn't be there..physically.

[deevergote]

Right. Long distance can work, if both people make it work. It's not easy, but honestly, I'd rather have someone I saw once a month that I was madly in love with, than someone I see every day that I'm just settling for.


And no, she's a Libra. My best friend, and the most successful relationship I've ever had with a girl (dated for 5 days, THAT was a disaster... but she's the best friend I've ever had) happens to be a Leo. I guess they're good for me, in that capacity, anyway!


I need to find myself a good Pisces. Redundant, directionless dreamers... would compliment me well

[AG17CB7]

Would it be safe to call her tonight and try to see what's going on or just let it settle in her mind for a minute?

[Rusty]

Personally I would just give her till like 10 and then call her back.

The whole trust issue thing she is now saying she has is just a girls way of turning something into a guys fault.

My guess is that she either is strarting to have feelings for someone else or she did something drunk and stupid at the party and knows that one of her friends will tell you or you'll see a pic of it on myspace or something.

Either way i would definitly call her and turn it around on her. Tell her that your the one who can't trust her since she can't even talk to you about whats got her all upset.

[deevergote]

When did you talk to her last? Was it tonight? I'd say let her cool off if so... let her think, and maybe get scared. She knows you're going to wonder what's up, and she'll probably expect you to call around asking people. The next time you talk to her, she'll probably expect you to know whatever it is she can't say... and she'll likely tell you when you tell her you never went digging.

Call tomorrow, if she doesn't call you first. Also, put your phone on loud, vibrate, and next to your head tonight. Definitely answer it if she calls, even at 3am. Also, did you remind her that you're a few hours later than she is? (is it 1 or 2 from bama to cali?)

[ACC0RD22]

Right. Long distance can work, if both people make it work. It's not easy, but honestly, I'd rather have someone I saw once a month that I was madly in love with, than someone I see every day that I'm just settling for.

Couldnt. Agree. More. If only my "better half" would feel the same way, she would still be my "better half"

[Rusty]

When did you talk to her last? Was it tonight? I'd say let her cool off if so... let her think, and maybe get scared. She knows you're going to wonder what's up, and she'll probably expect you to call around asking people. The next time you talk to her, she'll probably expect you to know whatever it is she can't say... and she'll likely tell you when you tell her you never went digging.

Call tomorrow, if she doesn't call you first. Also, put your phone on loud, vibrate, and next to your head tonight. Definitely answer it if she calls, even at 3am. Also, did you remind her that you're a few hours later than she is? (is it 1 or 2 from bama to cali?)

But if she did mess up and you give her time to cool down she'll also have time to come up with a good lie/excuse/or justification.

[deevergote]

But if she did mess up and you give her time to cool down she'll also have time to come up with a good lie/excuse/or justification.

Very true... but that's if she's sorry, rather than if she wants a way out.

Then, it comes down to whether or not you can deal with the fact that something may have happened (and possibly never know)

[Lil' Whitie]

wow sounds like my love life

i lost my girl to her Target manager, who is 22 years older than she is and she married him when she turned 18.