Relocation.

[new_beginnings]

Good day to all Cb7ers. Not longwinded, just relevant info that plays a factor.

Tough decision for me here.

Professional Background (at least 1):

I am a Medical Underwriter for a Non-Profit Health Insurance Company in Maryland. (Kaiser Permanente Mid-Atlantic). Been here for 7 years and make good $. I am divorced and father of 2 children 9 y/o boy and 6 y/o girl. 75% custody was awarded to me.

Anyhow, I was referred and was offered a job in Temple, Texas and will get a 25% pay raise given the fact that cost of living is lower in Tx than Md. (Negotiation power ) Unfortunately, I will not be taking my children with me due to a number of factors. To name a few:

1. Middle of the school year for them. Do not want to uproot them.

2. More family members are in Maryland to include their mother.


This is a very BIG opportunity for me in that I will be a Senior Medical Underwriter at the new Company and within 1-2 years will be the Director of the Dept.

I am apprehensive due to the children. Both kids are attached to me, but more so, my son. Of course, they will visit and so will I but that fact that they will not be with me on a "regular basis" scares me.

My start date appears to be Jan 1, 2008. And already am afraid... I've even cried and prayed about the situation and still apprensive about the move.



Your thoughts please. If there is any type of negativity that is going to be said, please keep it to yourselves.

Trev...

[Driftspec310]

The first thing to think about would be does this benefit your kids? If so, then the move would be hard and I think your kids would be strong enough to understand. This gives them the option to go somewhere different for summer. I know it's tough leaving the kids behind, but you all have to be strong for the benefit of the family. Once you have things situated, you can gauge better where they would thrive the most.

[deevergote]

You make good money now, and you have your kids with you. Would 25% more money and a life in Texas be worth moving away from your kids?


It's a great opportunity, but weigh your options.

Would your kids' mother be as good a parent as you are? Would you be sure that they would grow up strong, smart, and safe under her guidance, as they hopefully would with you? That is the first thing to consider. Would their life chances be limited in any way by you taking this job?

Then you need to weigh the psychological effects. Not just on your kids, but on you. Both can be disastrous. Will your kids resent you for moving away? Or, if you stayed, would you resent your kids for keeping you from moving forward with your career? If you would resent them, then you're doing them no good by staying here. It might not be outright resentment, but over time, it will definitely show... even if you and they don't know the cause... it may cause a rift.











In your position... I'd stay. I'd stay with the kids. You don't NEED the job, though the extra money would be nice. You're qualified for this position. Which means if it opens up locally, or with another company in the area, you'll STILL be qualified for the position.

[Gemini]

You make good money now, and you have your kids with you. Would 25% more money and a life in Texas be worth moving away from your kids?


It's a great opportunity, but weigh your options.

Would your kids' mother be as good a parent as you are? Would you be sure that they would grow up strong, smart, and safe under her guidance, as they hopefully would with you? That is the first thing to consider. Would their life chances be limited in any way by you taking this job?

Then you need to weigh the psychological effects. Not just on your kids, but on you. Both can be disastrous. Will your kids resent you for moving away? Or, if you stayed, would you resent your kids for keeping you from moving forward with your career? If you would resent them, then you're doing them no good by staying here. It might not be outright resentment, but over time, it will definitely show... even if you and they don't know the cause... it may cause a rift.











In your position... I'd stay. I'd stay with the kids. You don't NEED the job, though the extra money would be nice. You're qualified for this position. Which means if it opens up locally, or with another company in the area, you'll STILL be qualified for the position.

i dont think i could have said it better than Mike

[deevergote]

I'm currently looking at a good opportunity for work as well. I had a chance for a REALLY good opportunity, but I'd have to be rather cut-throat, and take advantage of people that have been good to me in the past. I declined. I still have an opportunity, but it's less certain, and less profitable if it comes to be.

Regardless, I'll be happier knowing that I didn't do something I wouldn't be proud of. All accomplishment takes sacrifice... but if the accomplishment isn't worth the sacrifice, you gain nothing.

[Juice21]

the oppurtunity sounds real tempting ...but life is about temptations...its about if u can resist them..it seems that god has blessed u with good life there is no need to get greedy..the more important u are to a company the less free time u wud have..good example is have u ever watched the movie "Click" with adam sandler ...thats a good reference

[bigjoegood1]

The first thing to think about would be does this benefit your kids? If so, then the move would be hard and I think your kids would be strong enough to understand. This gives them the option to go somewhere different for summer. I know it's tough leaving the kids behind, but you all have to be strong for the benefit of the family. Once you have things situated, you can gauge better where they would thrive the most.

werd.

Also, how does the kids' mom factor into the equation? Would she be supportive as well?

[wed3k]

stay with the kids bro, they need you.

[ExplodingCake]

Dude seriously go with family. Money is nothing compared to family.

[mozzandherb]

It would be hard for them, especially at the age they are at. If your kids were a little older to understand the complexity of the situation it would be different, but they are still young, especially the 6 y/o, I know that the opportunity is out there, but who knows what may come up a little later in life. Its completely up to you, follow your heart, but I know that you know that the kids are what matters..

[adam2562]

o wow Trevor i didn't know you were moving away..

[Lil' Whitie]

stay.

end of story. if i had to choose money over my cb7, she'd kill me.

[new_beginnings]

May be able to take the kiddies with me.

Negotiating with their mother/my ex-wife as well speak. Relocation time now pushed to Feb 1, 2008.

Still clearing up my house fire a couple weeks ago...


Stay Tuned...