and then the fight started..

[kelton]

> When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take
> her someplace
> expensive...So, I took her to a gas station...And then the
> fight
> started...
>
> ************************************************** ***********
>
> My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire
> while we were
> in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to
> have sex?" "No," she
> answered. I then said, "Is that your final answer?
> "She didn't even
> look at me this time, simply saying "Yes." So I
> said, "Then I'd like
> to phone a friend." And then the fight started...
>
> ************************************************** ***********
>
> After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to
> apply for
> Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for
> my driver's
> license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and
> realized I had
> left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very
> sorry, but I
> would have to go home and come back later The woman said,
> 'Unbutton
> your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly
> silver hair. She
> said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough
> for me' And she
> processed my Social Security application. When I got home,
> I excitedly
> told my wife about my experience at the Social Security
> office. She
> said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might
> have gotten
> Disability, too' And then the fight started...
>
> ************************************************** ***********
>
> Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my
> lunch,
> grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage. I
> hooked up the
> boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a
> torrential
> downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back
> into the
> garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the
> weather would be
> bad all day. I went back into the house, quietly
> undressed, and slipped
> back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now
> with a different
> anticipation, and whispered, 'The weather out there is
> terrible.' My
> loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my
> stupid husband is
> out fishing in that?' And that's how the fight
> started...
>
> ************************************************** ***********
>
> My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school
> reunion, and I
> kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she
> sat alone at A
> nearby table. My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
> 'Yes,' I sighed, 'she's
> my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right
> after we
> split up those many & years ago, and I hear she
> hasn't been sober
> since.' 'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would
> think a person could go on
> celebrating that long?' And then the fight started...
>
> ************************************************** ***********
>
> I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were
> alongside the road
> and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know
> how sometimes
> you just get soooo stressed and Little things just seem
> funny? Yeah,
> well I couldn't believe it.... He was a DWARF!!! He
> stormed over to my
> car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!
> !!' So, I looked
> down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are
> you?' And then the
> fight started...
>
> ************************************************** ***********
>
> I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some
> reason, took my
> order first. 'I'll have the strip steak, medium
> rare, please.' He
> said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?'
> 'Nah, she can order for herself.' And then the
> fight started...
>
> ************************************************** ************
>
> A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
> She is not
> happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I
> feel horrible; I
> look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a
> compliment.' The
> husband replies, 'Your eyesight's darn near
> perfect.' And then the
> fight started...
>
>
>
>
************************************************** ********
>
>I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"
>It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
>"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
>So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"
>And that's when the fight started....
>
>
************************************************** *******
>My wife asked me if a certain dress made her butt look big.
>I told her Not as >much as the dress that she had worn yesterday.
>And then the fight started.....
>
>
************************************************** ********
>
>A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies.
>Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside.
>The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man
>'Holy crap. That must be my husband!'
>So the man jumped out of the bed; scared and naked jumped out the >window.
>He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush and
>to his car as fast as he could go.
>A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and
>screamed at the woman, 'I AM your husband!'
>The woman yelled back, 'Yeah, then why were you running?'
>And then the fight started.....




This better not be a repost.

[texasvtak]

It is.

[kelton]

Fuck!.

[ibr_adam09]

I haven't seen it, THANK YOU ! Funny stuff...

[Gemini]

thanks

[JDM_CB7_TX]

Got a good laugh at work needed it. Thanks man.

[kelton]

Got a good laugh at work needed it. Thanks man.

Im at work to lol. Making triple pay to sit here on cb7.

but hey as long as I made 3 people laugh its good enough to me lol.

[zacatecas]

Funny!

[Julianachos]

lmao

[bcjammerx]

Someone at work printed some of these out...my fav:

A couple was lying in bed late one evening fast asleep...suddenly the woman sat up
"OH SHIT...MY HUSBANDS HOME!"
the man jumped up, grabbed his boxers, threw his pants out the window...
but right as he was about to leap onto the ledge he stopped...
"Hey...I AM your husband!"
"I know dumbass...why the fuck where you running?"
that's when the fight started

there are more...so funny

[evil_demon_01]

Lmao, I thought you were being serious to start with and must've had a REALLY shitty day

[DJ metadelic]

pretty danged epic.

you still win kelton. you still win.

[MikeW]

> Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my
> lunch,
> grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage. I
> hooked up the
> boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a
> torrential
> downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back
> into the
> garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the
> weather would be
> bad all day. I went back into the house, quietly
> undressed, and slipped
> back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now
> with a different
> anticipation, and whispered, 'The weather out there is
> terrible.' My
> loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my
> stupid husband is
> out fishing in that?' And that's how the fight
> started...
>
> ************************************************** ***********
>
> I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were
> alongside the road
> and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know
> how sometimes
> you just get soooo stressed and Little things just seem
> funny? Yeah,
> well I couldn't believe it.... He was a DWARF!!! He
> stormed over to my
> car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!
> !!' So, I looked
> down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are
> you?' And then the
> fight started...
>
> ************************************************** ***********
>
>
>I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"
>It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
>"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
>So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"
>And that's when the fight started....

Epic.......epic.