Move in with the gf or not??!??!?

[gloryaccordy]

I've been with this chick for like 9 months now

We've been through some shyt... me going to the emergency room twice, an unnecessary break up, lots of shit

I love spending time with her... we've spent weeks over at each others' places and we hang out 3-4 days a week, no problem.

What's the deal? My lease is up in December. Should I get a place with her? The only thing I'm afraid of is wanting my own time + space every now and then.

Any of you guys move in with ur gfs??? What were your experiences

[JoshM]

My fiance and I haven't "officially" moved in together, but we're ALWAYS together.
Either we're at my house or her apartment.
I mean, it's pretty much like we're living together, just we own 2 places.
We've been doing this for about 2 years.



Just remember, if you don't think that you can live with her, don't do it.
You'll be stuck there because you signed a lease.
But, if you believe you and her will be together for atleast another year, go for it.

[bobbycos]

my g/f and i have been living together for 16 years and she say that those have been the best 16 years of my life.

seriously, think about hard and long. if you are not sure don't do it. have you discussed this at all with her. this can be a commitment which if it goes bad can leave you living out of your car or back with your parents

[gloryaccordy]

Yea we talk about it all the time. We are both like 70% cool with it, but it's that 30% we're not sure about

[6fthondaboi]

Dont do it man. Me and my girl had a hella good relationship b4 we moved together. Now all she does is complain about the same crap i did when we wern't living together. Small stuff like me being on the forum and hangin wit my homeboys. Many people told me not to do it, but i thought i could beat the odds and now im payin for it.

[bobbycos]

that 30% is what bothers me, work on it and you should be fine. one major sticking point is finances, who pays what! is that the 30% you mentioned

[gloryaccordy]

that 30% is what bothers me, work on it and you should be fine. one major sticking point is finances, who pays what! is that the 30% you mentioned

NAh we have finances covered. I'd be paying the bulk of rent, and we get our own groceries (she is a vegetarian). Utilities and shit get split down the middle. Pretty straightforward.

I'm just scared one of us will get annoyed with the other one. Plus this one chick I know summed up relationships perfectly... when it starts, the dude is all cool, and the chick is sprung... then things switch over.

[PUMASTi]

I've been living with the wife for almost 2 years. I think I slept over at my moms house once lol because of an argument. Honestly all it takes is when you argue work it out as quick as possible. It sucks taking anger to bed with you. Good Luck.

[d112crzy]

Don't do it.

[wlfpck]

don't do it. my gf basically moved in my dorm after a while... it really strained our relationship to the point we recently broke up.

[Flatline]

Do what you think you should....(obviously you don't know right?)


If you think you can handle biting your tongue, accepting that you may be wrong sometimes, having to be sure that you are "allowed" to do thing with out her b/c she is expecting you. All the time. and that you can handle not having nearly as much alone time as before then do it.


But you have to make sure that if you are she is. and you need to be scarily clear about it. No leaving things out of that conversation. Thats how problems arise later.

That's what happened to me. My G/f had neglectful drunks for parents and ate one meal a day because they would have her make them their food first and they were dirty slobs who ate everything. and that's not half of it.

anyway... the day she turned 18, she called me at around 5 am saying she was packing her shit and wanted me to pick her up for good. we had talked about it quite a bit before hand and i didn't have time to get to that conversation. besides it was more important to get her out of there.

well almost 2 years later, we have most of it worked out and rarely actually fight about stuff. we bicker here and there but it's still okay. but you can avoid all of that with a good lay down of the rules of your relationship.

But otherwise if you both think so then i say go for it.... save some $$$ and poon for three outta four weeks...

Damn i can't wait till we get our own place

[cvc7chris]

You'll be find but tell her you need your time alone sometimes so bug off lol

[sunburn]

Dont do it man. Me and my girl had a hella good relationship b4 we moved together. Now all she does is complain about the same crap i did when we wern't living together. Small stuff like me being on the forum and hangin wit my homeboys. Many people told me not to do it, but i thought i could beat the odds and now im payin for it.

You see the worst of someone when you live with them, and after a little bit of time the smallest things will annoy the shit out of you/her .

I am not saying for you to not do it , just make you guys able to handle each other in all situations.

good luck.

[gloryaccordy]

We are both pretty chill non-confrontational people, and we have an open line of communication. Plus just by my nature I am very patient. I mean personality wise, I don't see any issues.

However, to be honest I am pretty messy. She is very clean. I'm not gross; like now with my roommate I do the bulk of the cleaning in the apt and would like cleaning a lot more if it were a 50/50 thing. But my room is usually messier than hers, etc. Beyond that, outside of us breaking up I don't see too much getting in our way.

Only thing that concerns me is the long term thing. Even if we don't have a massive awful break up, I'm scared that moving in together sets a precedent for bigger things in the future. Right now I just wanna be with her and have fun, but I'd be cool w/going my own way when it was up. That alone seems like a good enough reason not to do it, as I don't wanna be tied down.

But on the other hand it would be nice. I would love to come home to her every night. And she knows I'm hard headed and need my own time. So it could be nice.

I dunno.

[d112crzy]

Not wanting to be tied down means you don't want a serious relationship.

It's simple. Don't do it. Moving in is for serious relationships. Unless you're the type of couple that lives together to fuck.