need some advice....

[408cb7]

hey cb7tuners, i need some advice regarding my current emotional state. a little about me, im 21 about to be 22, with a 3 year child which i love to death. well the reason why im reaching out for some advice is because the mother of my son and i broke up about 2 months ago. from a 7 year relationship. our relationship was not the best but always managed to stay together, but then again this is like the 8th time brake up lol. i love this girl so much and she loves me to, but sometimes i wonder if its worth coming back, but im leaning more to the fact that i want to get back with her. i feel very sad, i dont feel like doing anything, work on my cb, or even work lol. thanks guys for you help, its really appriciated.

[RagingAsian]

*sigh*

:ahem:

First of all, assuming that my math is right you started dating when you were 15 years old. and then had your child at 18 years old.

Thats a move that I would not have recommended, and because of that, you now have a child, so it complicates things.

If youre fighting and what not when the things go bad, in front of your child, then get the hell out and then sort out the custody issues. But if youre breaking up over stupid shit, then kick yourself in the balls and t hen tell her to get her ass straight and get her ducks in a row.

[408cb7]

*sigh*

:ahem:

First of all, assuming that my math is right you started dating when you were 15 years old. and then had your child at 18 years old.

Thats a move that I would not have recommended, and because of that, you now have a child, so it complicates things.

If youre fighting and what not when the things go bad, in front of your child, then get the hell out and then sort out the custody issues. But if youre breaking up over stupid shit, then kick yourself in the balls and t hen tell her to get her ass straight and get her ducks in a row.

yea your math is just about right. we didnt really in front of our child, but i have noticed that he has becomed more rebelious. the good thing is that i get to see my son almost anytime i want, which im very thankful that she at least agrees with me on that.

[RagingAsian]

Well, its either you fight or you dont. If you do, youre not only hurting the child but youre hurting you and the relationship that you two seem to have in this off and on fashion.

Personally, I would just let things be for a while and see where it ends up. Love is a bitch.

[904drACCORDMANG]

man i went through a very similar situation, got to gether young, had kids young, i know it sucks and u dont wanna do anything, u want wat u had back but from experiance theres more than just her out there. When i split with my ex i didnt know what the hell to do, i just wanted her, but time cures all! If its not a healthy relationship like mine then move on buddy its best for everyone esp the lil one

[408cb7]

Well, its either you fight or you dont. If you do, youre not only hurting the child but youre hurting you and the relationship that you two seem to have in this off and on fashion.

Personally, I would just let things be for a while and see where it ends up. Love is a bitch.

yea the last thing i wanna do is hurt my son. its hard to give it time when we leave 2 blocks away lol, but i think its for the best. love hurts but thats how life is i guess.

[RagingAsian]

Work on your car.

But for a single guy like myself, I just go party with college chicks. solves all of my worries.

[408cb7]

man i went through a very similar situation, got to gether young, had kids young, i know it sucks and u dont wanna do anything, u want wat u had back but from experiance theres more than just her out there. When i split with my ex i didnt know what the hell to do, i just wanted her, but time cures all! If its not a healthy relationship like mine then move on buddy its best for everyone esp the lil one

yea, i was with this girl for like ever, we used to do everything together and now i find myself alone most of the time, but like you said if its not a healthy relationship then its time to move on.

[408cb7]

Work on your car.

But for a single guy like myself, I just go party with college chicks. solves all of my worries.

yep

[wed3k]

i find being alone a good thing, gives you a lot of time to think however just dont over think and get anxiety. you should come to our upcoming meet next month and kick it.

[life_shift]

Ask yourself a bigger question, how would your breaking ties effect others around you. The truth is no relationship is going to be easy. There are going to be highs and lows, times when you want to give up and times when you cant stop loving that person. I feel like you are in a trial season. Trials will come in any relationship but when the going gets tough are you just not going to "go" at all? As you have said, and i am absolutely positive about saying this, you love this girl. And even more so, you love your child.. unconditionally. I'm positive you would do anything for your child and for your girlfriend. And I know this may seem like an outlandish solution or maybe even a radical change in your life, but if you really want to be committed to your child and the woman you love, get married to her. That is the best and biggest sign of committment you could give them. However, if you feel you truly aren't ready to marry her, then prepare yourself rightly and do so. Its ALOT to marinate on but I truly hope this helps bro =]

[visualpoet]

Ask yourself a bigger question, how would your breaking ties effect others around you. ...I'm positive you would do anything for your child and for your girlfriend. And I know this may seem like an outlandish solution or maybe even a radical change in your life, but if you really want to be committed to your child and the woman you love, get married to her...

I'm sorry, brother, but this is the worst advice in the thread. I'm speaking as a 41 year old father of four on his second (and last) marriage. I'm also an ordained minister (easy enough on the internet, but in my youth I felt called and studied heavily, and feel I have a more than fair grasp of spirituality and theology) and have studied psychology and sociology.
He's shown commitment, he's part of the child's life, and he's tried to make things work with his gf, but it repeatedly turns into another break up. A relationshiup like this only escalates and becomes worse, often turns violent. The only people he needs to be worried about the effects on are himself and his child. He's responsible for his own feelings and the well being of his child. He can't be held responsible for the feelings and well being of his gf, those are her responsibilities (the old you can lead a hrose to water thing). In a relationship that started at the age of 15, and has deteriorated to the point of fighting and several seperations, marriage is not the answer. I've been there and when you start waking up in the middle of the night thinking about how easy it would be to hide the body, it's not healthy.

408cb7 - My advice would be to talk to her and see if she wants to stay together or move on. Either way, that's the decision. You can't force another person to remain in a relationship. I'd also recommend counseling of some sort for both of you, no matter what the decision; it will help you learn to adjust and change as you grow more mature. Give your child more love than he wants, and make sure he's as healthy and well raised as possible.

[life_shift]

I'm sorry, brother, but this is the worst advice in the thread. I'm speaking as a 41 year old father of four on his second (and last) marriage. I'm also an ordained minister (easy enough on the internet, but in my youth I felt called and studied heavily, and feel I have a more than fair grasp of spirituality and theology) and have studied psychology and sociology.
He's shown commitment, he's part of the child's life, and he's tried to make things work with his gf, but it repeatedly turns into another break up. A relationshiup like this only escalates and becomes worse, often turns violent. The only people he needs to be worried about the effects on are himself and his child. He's responsible for his own feelings and the well being of his child. He can't be held responsible for the feelings and well being of his gf, those are her responsibilities (the old you can lead a hrose to water thing). In a relationship that started at the age of 15, and has deteriorated to the point of fighting and several seperations, marriage is not the answer. I've been there and when you start waking up in the middle of the night thinking about how easy it would be to hide the body, it's not healthy.

408cb7 - My advice would be to talk to her and see if she wants to stay together or move on. Either way, that's the decision. You can't force another person to remain in a relationship. I'd also recommend counseling of some sort for both of you, no matter what the decision; it will help you learn to adjust and change as you grow more mature. Give your child more love than he wants, and make sure he's as healthy and well raised as possible.

exactly thats why i said prepare himself rightly. I completely agree with what you said.

[Minze]

stay w/ her

[luckyflip]

*sigh*

:ahem:

First of all, assuming that my math is right you started dating when you were 15 years old. and then had your child at 18 years old.

Thats a move that I would not have recommended, and because of that, you now have a child, so it complicates things.

If youre fighting and what not when the things go bad, in front of your child, then get the hell out and then sort out the custody issues. But if youre breaking up over stupid shit, then kick yourself in the balls and t hen tell her to get her ass straight and get her ducks in a row.

i dont see how a child complicates things.A child is suppose to bring a couple closer together.im 20 years old and i have a 2 year old.Ive been with the wifey for 5 years.Everything to this point has been good.I cant really say everyone is the same. To the Op,youll know when the relationship isnt worth it.Sometimes its just best to let go.