Serious conversation about parenting/tv/effects

[toycar]

So I was reading on some news article from google news about how the likelyhood of being convicted of a criminal complaint grows by 30% for every hour(on average) a kid watches TV.


I have also been told by doctors as well as read in magazines and articles that you should limit screen time all together to 2 hours/day TOPS.

“The risk of having a criminal conviction by early adulthood increased by about 30 per cent with every hour that children spent watching television on an average weeknight. While we’re not saying that television causes all anti-social behavior our findings do suggest that reducing television viewing could go some way towards reducing rates of anti-social behavior in society.”

So, with those things in mind I find myself reflecting on my own personal practices and failing to connect the dots. My kids have always played video games, watched TV/Movies and for the last 5 years or so had some sort of touch screen device at their disposal.




My kids are well behaved and are doing really great! They play games like GTA, Halo, Call of duty, Lego batman and all sorts of sports and shit. My older son has like 30 games between 360, ps3 and Wii.

Anyways, why do you guys suppose the blame game places things like TV and video games at fault? I've never seen or heard of a TV robbing a grocery store, have you?


I don't really get it. I was a gamer, my friends were gamers, and most of my friends' friends were as well. Whats the deal with the stereotype? I bet at times my son has 6-8 hours of screen time in 1 day. Literally 3-4 times the amount suggested by "professionals"


Thing is, on the weekend shit like that happens. Only so much playing and running around to do you know? He stays up till 10-10:30, and gets up around 7:30. So his day is like 15 hours or so long. Its really not that unreasonable to play games for an hour or two, go be active for 4-5, watch a movie, eat some lunch, then maybe watch some tv, follwed up by some wrench time in the garage and then video games after dinner before bed.

Sounds like a typical Saturday at my house.

Easily 6-8 hours of screen time in 1 day. He gets good grades(b student) and is a good kid. Hes not mouthy, he has manors, says please and thank you. I don't get it. He doesn't fight with kids. He sleeps good at night. He is a happy kid.



I personally think that parenting is the issue people have. If you are not responsible as a person, you probably aren't going to accept responsibility for bad parenting. Blaming shit like video games and TV seems like an easy out for pile of shit parents. Every adult I know has kids that play games and watch TV.

The only ones with bad kids, are generally crappy parents/citizens too.




Anyways, whats your guys thoughts on the subject? I bet most of you are gamers, any of you been out robbing liquor stores or shooting people lately? Apparently, you are 30% more likely to be a criminal if you get more than 2 hours of screen time a day. And thats exponentially too(per the story).

So, if you get 4 hours of screen time in a day, your like, 60% more likely to be a criminal.


Lol


Link to story that inspired thread;


http://wjon.com/study-more-tv-for-ki...s-adults-poll/

[Ralphie]

Short answer- It's easier to blame someone/thing else, then to take responsibility for the fact that your a fuck up parent and are 100% at fault for your kid's shennanigans.

Im not even going to go into a long answer, because it's just a waste of energy lol.


I was born in 83. I had the original Nintendo. By the time I lived in NJ(maybe 6 or 7 years old) I had my own room, tv, and game system. My brother had his own tv, Sega, and room.

We didn't spend countless hours playing. I maybe played my Nintendo 2-3 hours at a time....then we would go outside for hours at a time and chase each other, play cops and robbers, ya know semi violent things.

I had 2 friends who had a BASEMENT full of games and toys. There were days where they stayed inside while we were outside, and they did god knows what.

Neither of them, to my knowledge, grew up to be criminals.

Neither me nor my brother, have had run ins with the law.

It all starts with parenting. I didn't have cable in my room, the tv was just for the Nintendo. I was allowed to watch tv downstairs(and in the summer watched it more then 2 hours a day) and nothing Ive ever seen, made me think.....hmm Id like to rob a 7/11 one day!.

Its just all bs and it's really annoying. Same thing with music. I listen to some pretty disturbing metal, yet im not going out and sacrficing women or cats.

If you learn from the beginning that there is wrong and right, and wrong has consequences and rewards for right, and that entertainment is JUST THAT....

then they should have the matuity and education to work the rest out.

If you see it sliding one way, a little kick in the ass brings things back in perspective.

OH GOD NO!!!!! NOT A ASS KICKING.

MOFO!

[floored]

If you see it sliding one way, a little kick in the ass brings things back in perspective.

x2

[Cb_JoeyG]

I've seen this a lot lately too and to a point i do agree that some video games are a bit much for younger kids, I have 2 kids, one who just turned 5 and one who just turned 3. My 5 year old whom lives at his moms house and i get on weekends,loves video games and is slightly addicted between his WII at his grandmother's, his XBOX at his mom's, computer in my garage,and my Xbox at my house. If given the option he would play on any of those consoles all day long.. I defiantly try to screen the games he plays to G rated stuff,( no COD or GTA type stuff) But it seems like I have to almost yell at him to get his attention and tell him its time for a break..

Its hard for some parents to be consistent with their kids nowadays too because a good percentage are divorced/not together and have 2 different households with 2 different sets of rules and restrictions. I haven't been with either mother of my children since they were born so its always been separate like that.
My 3 year old whom i have full time with very little interaction from his mother, has yet to experience playing video games but I've noticed he's addicted to the stimulation of a TV on at all times too. I mean its all kids shows and movies but its almost unsettling how much he will just stare at that tv.

Come to think of it tho when i was growing up, i had a shit ton of time spent in front of the TV watching 90's cartoons and i had my experience with multiple consoles and game types on sega, nintendo, n64, ps1, gameboys, dream-cast, and ps2.. I mean hours on end of each. And ive never wanted to rob a place or kill anyone

I guess when it comes down to it its just up to the parent on their own to decide when enough is enough of electronic babysitters and when its time to play with their kid's outside or stay inside and read a book or something.

[toycar]

I guess when it comes down to it its just up to the parent on their own to decide when enough is enough of electronic babysitters and when its time to play with their kid's outside or stay inside and read a book or something.

And so if the parent NEVER pulls little johnny off the Wii, and NEVER talks about being responsible or growing up, is it the video games fault when little johnny becomes a pile of shit?


I think its the parents fault. Letting your kids indulge in video games is not telling them to refuse authority or disregard rules.



A good parent would manage any scenario and still produce a good kid. Regardless of financial status, video games, tv influence or anything else. If you love your kids and raise them correctly, they will love you too and listen to your guidance. I bet good kids were born in concentration camps during WW2, and they were exposed to the worst of the worst.


If you let TV raise your kids, TV will influence them just the same. I think the issue is 10x more about parents involvement in kids lives vs any amount of time spent on tv or video games.

Some days my kids don't play games at all. Other days, they'll play all day long if something has their attention like a new game as an example. I don't care about any of that. I want my kids to be happy, live happy, be responsible, treat people right and be themselves. If I can raise my kids to have morales and values, they will be just fine.


No amount of GTA/COD will ever compromise someones moral code, as long as you have a code in the first place. Parents fail to define that code sometimes, and kids find their own way in life as a result. Those are the kids most likely to be neglected, be left to watch TV all day or whatever else. Kids with parents active in their lives aren't like that.


I play video games with my son all the time. Is that considered "bonding time" "Video game time" "screen time" "one on one time" or??? Depending on how you interpret the time spent, dictates wether or not the "professionals" approve.


Its all bullshit if you ask me. They just need to come out and call it what it is.

[ferenza]

You guys are talking truth

I grew up in the 90s.I had all the latest systems.But i chose to be outside on my bike and i rode it until the wheels fell off literally.I would go to school, get home and grab my bike(and after all those hours of riding i was still a big kid)Only when it rained i turned my game on and sometimes i didnt even do that.I played with my matchbox cars(hint hint)

My parents let me watch some tv.But not stare at it all day.I was an active kid and my parents hardly ever seen me until it was getting dark outside.This was a decade and some change ago when i was like 8 or 9.

My parents (father in particular) beat my ass when i act up or gave a face, frowned the wrong way , rolled my eyes (and they kept rolling in my hand lol) or anything that had to do with me messing up in school.There was none of that talking back stuff seeing that my dad was a navy seal.My mom and grandparents taught me how to wash clothes, dishes , the outside of the house,vacuum, mow the lawn,pull trees out of the yard(yes my grandpa used me as a mule because i was a "big" guy)etc.

Kids nowadays dont play outside anymore or at least by me. My old neighborhood , EMPTY . The younger gens have all these electronics hooked to their hands and wont stop looking at the screens .There is no such thing now what we used to call a "face to face" conversation.My girlfirends sister walked into a pole the other day because she was texting.I laughed but thats besides the point.They cant interact without texting.

I dont have any children of my own yet but when i do, they gonna live like they are AMISH.

[Cb_JoeyG]

There's no way around it times have changed, a lot since the 90's! I mean im only 23 and dealing with raising 2 kids, one full time and one half time. Its a constant struggle but i feel that my parents endowed enough good morals on me that i strongly push onto my children so they too can be good people like i consider myself

[Tippey764]

I've been playing video games since i was 9, i even had gta4 when it came out in 2008, I was about 14 or 15 at the time

Never once have i been in trouble for anything outside of traffic violations.

[MikeW]

I personally think that parenting is the issue people have. If you are not responsible as a person, you probably aren't going to accept responsibility for bad parenting. Blaming shit like video games and TV seems like an easy out for pile of shit parents. Every adult I know has kids that play games and watch TV.

The only ones with bad kids, are generally crappy parents/citizens too.

Short answer- It's easier to blame someone/thing else, then to take responsibility for the fact that your a fuck up parent and are 100% at fault for your kid's shennanigans.

These about sum it up. There's a reason that the law says that a parent is responsible for a child, and their actions, until they turn 18. So the parent will take action and make sure the kid is an honest member of society. Only problem is, people either don't give a fuck about whether or not their child is an up-standing member of society or they just don't give a fuck about the kid, period.

I was poor growing up. My mom raised my brother and I by herself. She had the occasional long-term boyfriend but it wasn't until we were nearly teenagers that the men in her life started sticking around and helping to support her/us. Regardless, I not only have memories of playing Beavis & Butt-Head and Mortal Kombat as a pre-teen but I played outside as well. Was I a bad kid? Not hardly. Did I steal money from my mom and go outside when I wasn't supposed to? Yes, but I either got away by the skin of my teeth or I got my ass beat!

I can remember many-a-days of my childhood, between 10 and 18, where I spent nice, warm, sunny days...INSIDE. Playing fucking GTA or whatever else I wanted. Did my mom shut it off and tell me to go outside once in a while? Yeah. But for the most part, she didn't care what I did as long it didn't involve drugs, breaking the law, or getting myself or others killed. She raised me to know the difference between right and wrong and she put fear into me, well, enough to know that if I did wrong, the law wouldn't be the only thing Id have to face, lol.

The only thing I can see video games being a legit scapegoat for is obesity. I played a lot of video games as a child/teenager. I wasn't made aware of being healthy and how important it was until my high school years. Kids are getting fatter and it's not only from shitty food but also from sedentary lifestyles. That's why organizations like PLAY60 are starting to come into play. No pun intended, lol.

Same thing with music. I listen to some pretty disturbing metal, yet im not going out and sacrficing women or cats.

If you learn from the beginning that there is wrong and right, and wrong has consequences and rewards for right, and that entertainment is JUST THAT....

This also. One of my best good friends listens to some of the loudest, fastest, scream-iest music Ive ever heard. And with names like cattle decapitation, dead fetus, and a blog entitled, "Headbang or GTFO" you'd think he'd be some sort of crazed freak.

He's not.

In fact, he's one of the nicest, most up-standing friends, fathers, husbands, and members of society I think I know.

Just goes to show ya, never judge a book by it's cover. Or judge at all for that matter.

[Soufkackicustom]

Just about all hours my son is up...the TV is on...he dosent stay glued to it, but it's on. Nick jr, or your baby can read, or some animal movie...he can say his abc's count to 20, 100 by 10's, reads everything, knows his shapes and colors, can tell you what most animals and what sound they make, say his alphabet by the phonics sound, and talks in complete sentences........he will be 3 may 20th.

My wife is a 2nd grade school teacher, and my son can do a lot of their course work..he has passed the 1 grade standards test....

It's not how much they watch, it's what they watch and how you use what that watch to teach them.. When he watches TV, we constantly ask him what he sees, what color, what animal or what number. We use the TV as a teacher, not a babysitter. He also got a iPad for his 2nd birthday. He plays with it alot. We have a ton of learning apps on it, and he uses it by himself....hell he can search YouTube. He also loves to read...10+ books a day, most are 2 grade level. And some how if you rear a book to him more than once, he will memorize it.

He loves to be outside. When we take him to the park, he ask others their names, says please and thank you...waits his turn, dosent hit or fight......and most that he learned off yo gabba gabba. The reason I know that, if you ask him why he is doing something, he will sing the song that tought it to him

[Quashish]

[zmanwit90accord]

Growing up I'd say my parents balanced physical activity with video games and TV. Granted I wasn't playing super violent games when I was 4-5 years old, but I remember watching the game Mafia around age 7-8 and was exposed to other violent games at a young age.

Now, I'd still say I live a pretty normal lifestyle. Decently smart kid, go to a good school, no trouble with the law or in school. I spend quite a bit of time playing CoD, GTA, etc. though and a lot of time on the internet but never do I think of fighting or hurting someone else. In fact, I'm kind of a pacifist.

Anyways, I think that each individual case is different but most likely the cause for some kid who played too much shooting games growing up to be a violent person is the parents fault (unless the kid has a mental condition). The games are rated mature for a reason. They can't go buy Grand Theft Auto without someone over 17 I think. You letting your kid play that kind of game is all on you. Monitoring the amount of playtime is important. I started playing GTA around 8th grade and because my mom despised it so much (dad bought it for me) I put a limit on how much I played. I know my little cousins got their first Call of Duty game around ages 14, 12, and 10 but they were given strict time slots for playing and never played at night. Their parents monitored them and still do even though they're all 3 years older.

Funny thing though, my parents never grounded me nor my brother for that matter. Maybe a time-out along the way but I literally have no recollection of my mom ever sending me to my room or punishing me by taking my phone or the TV away. My mom just raised me well I suppose.

Just about all hours my son is up...the TV is on...he dosent stay glued to it, but it's on. Nick jr, or your baby can read, or some animal movie...he can say his abc's count to 20, 100 by 10's, reads everything, knows his shapes and colors, can tell you what most animals and what sound they make, say his alphabet by the phonics sound, and talks in complete sentences........he will be 3 may 20th.

My wife is a 2nd grade school teacher, and my son can do a lot of their course work..he has passed the 1 grade standards test....

It's not how much they watch, it's what they watch and how you use what that watch to teach them.. When he watches TV, we constantly ask him what he sees, what color, what animal or what number. We use the TV as a teacher, not a babysitter. He also got a iPad for his 2nd birthday. He plays with it alot. We have a ton of learning apps on it, and he uses it by himself....hell he can search YouTube. He also loves to read...10+ books a day, most are 2 grade level. And some how if you rear a book to him more than once, he will memorize it.

He loves to be outside. When we take him to the park, he ask others their names, says please and thank you...waits his turn, dosent hit or fight......and most that he learned off yo gabba gabba. The reason I know that, if you ask him why he is doing something, he will sing the song that tought it to him

We need more parents like you and kids like yours.

[LadyG]

I was brought up pretty isolated, (Home-schooled, few friends, no cable, no video games, tight restriction on music) and I think it did a bit more harm than good in the long run.
I was not a bad girl- my parents were just very young, and frightened. When my mother was my age (30) I was 14- I cannot imagine having a 14y/o right now...

I have a much looser grip on my own sons. They have video games- we take them away for bad home/school conduct- and I have a Pandora station dedicated to their musical education.
However,
They DO NOT have access to TV programming. They watch some at the G-parents houses, but at my house, we are 100% VHS (older movies from when I was a kid) and DVD.
I cannot deal with the advertising bombardment on TV, and specifically the BS that is targeted to kids. I am pretty conservative about the amount of media exposure my kids have.

I don't think video games make people violent- but I do think that, as with most things we take into ourselves, eventually we become desensitized, or resistant to the effect- so it takes more and more intensive immersion to produce the same effect. I think, that if a person had a kind of "addictive" personality, coupled with violence saturation, could produce violence- especially if that person endures an emotional trauma.

[RyanD]

^this

[BurtonRiderT6]

Ahhh yes, you ask us....the gamer generation. Of course you won't hear any complaints from us as we all grew up fine for the most part. At least I know I'm not a criminal, don't know anyone else on here besides an alias name. I will chime in with a discussion I had with my father the other day about my "habit"

So I was talking to my father about my ex-girlfriend/hasn't moved out yet girlfriend. She would constantly say video games are for children. Fact is yes they were originally intended for kids, but those kids they were designed for are now becoming adults, technology is advancing and they are still trying to appeal to us "adult kids." Nintendo, Playstation, and Microsoft are not running around handing 7-16 year olds free systems with copies of violent video games. No you (the parent) have to pay a premium for them. So to blame video games is ridiculous since the parent or parental figure has to allow it to happen buy purchasing them. Easier to place blame than to accept it. The target audience is ages 25-35.

Now as far as TV goes, I have no kids but some of the things I see on tv just blow my mind. Godaddy.com Super Bowl commercial, I think they accomplished what they wanted in being remembered because it surely didn't make me want to sign up. There's a lot of questionable things on tv that I know some parents don't want there kids to see at such a young age, like why theres two dads or two moms. I know it's 2013 but come on, it's hard enough trying to deflect quetions about how they got here with a mommy and daddy, now I'm gonna have to try and explain this?

On a final note, if I didn't have video games I wouldn't have known that eating mushrooms will make you bigger, eating flowers will make you throw fireballs, Hedgehogs are really really fast, if you t-bone/sideswipe someone in a corner you will bounce off and take the lead, there's always a code for infinite lives, and it's possible for two people to be from two different countries that have the exact same fighting style with special moves included.