Controversial discussion... please keep it mature!

[Dhsmokymcpot]

While I agree that the law is the law, you also have to look at how the law is being applied to this situation. First off this started as a high school relationship, nothing wrong there. The parents of the younger girl have a problem with this, proven by their actions against the older girl when she can be hurt by someone other than themselves, the law. What I would like to know is what did the parents do in the meantime?? Was there arguments between the child(s) and parent?? I mean at some point in time they have put a stop to it or accept it.

I do not mean to offend anyone with this statement but it has to be said to validate my point.

This is a prime example of the way this country is taking a turn for the worse. The parents couldn't control their own house so they have the local government take care of the problem. This escalates real quickly when multiple people have the same problem, the government should fix it. NO, NO, NO. Personal responsiblity is the requirement of all adults and something that is lacked along with common sense by the majority of this country.

So I believe that their is a lot more to this story and truly it is about homophobia. They also pushed hard enough to have her expelled from school. That tells me that you are afraid that someone else has more influence over your daughter than the parents.

Truly sad that a young girl's future is being thrown away by idiotic parents who couldn't take the responsibilities of being a parent and scared that their child is a lesbian.

[Domesticated]

With age being considered I think people shouldn't be sexually active until they are physically and mentally matured. Whether it be 16 or 21. The law says 16-18 depending on where you live. In a few countries the average marriage age is 28 for males and 14 for females. It's their beliefs, but I don't agree with it. Molesters tend to target young people because it's easier. My uncle is 14 years older than his wife and they met when she was 25. Is that okay? Of course it was. Would it have been OK if they had met 10 years prior, hell no. People change when they become sexually active. I think that more maturing should happen before that, but that's just me I guess.

[Domesticated]

Though as a Parent, if it was my daughter I'd be pretty pissed , in fact really piss I wouldn't allow such thing to happen and as for her being ***, I'd rather blame myself than blame my daughters for that ...

I'm not a parent and when I have kids I truly hope that they aren't ***, but you shouldn't hold blame on anyone if they are. I may not agree with people being ***, but some people are wired differently and it should be respected.

[Hopeless]

This is the problem i see with this whole thing.

a lot of these statutory rape claims among kids that are in a similar age range,

ex: 15-17 w/ an 18 year old, 16-17 w/ a 19 year old, 17 w/ a 20 year old

is that many of the charges are made out of spite or resentment.




this is not a 23+ year old guy sleeping with a 15 year old girl.

in some particular instances, its ridiculous because those people are in highschool and consider themselves in the same age range even though the law says they arent.

is that an excuse? i guess not really.
i think its important that parents warn people around that age. my folks warned me about hanging around underclassmen in highschool so i was very careful and particular about who i hung out with/partied with/etc.

BUT, i think parents, and girls that use statutory rape as an easy way to get back at or attack their ex boyfriends, or their daughters boyfriends that they dont like are disgusting.

i wish her the best because that seems like what this is... parents being super-soaker-sour about their daughter being ***, having some unrealistic thought in their head that her girfriend caused her to be ***, and attacking her girlfriend for it by using statutory laws against her.

[turboAccordHSF]

I'm not a parent and when I have kids I truly hope that they aren't ***, but you shouldn't hold blame on anyone if they are. I may not agree with people being ***, but some people are wired differently and it should be respected.

I think you might of read that wrong some how?

I wouldn't blame anyone else, my daughters, her friends or partners or the neighbor for whatever lead my kids to be ***, id rather just blame myself if they ever turn out that way it's not their fault or anyone else's that's their lives we're talking about. Though just like you, I really hope they don't.

And as for being mad, I'd be really piss if it was my daughter because 15 or 16, 17, your growing up, I know kids know rules, they know the punishments they know what can happen why take it lightly. If its against the law I hope my girls don't take any part of it! These kids watch T.V they can't bounce back and say "oh I didn't know it was illegal!" bull shit!

[Domesticated]

My dad told me not to, I didn't listen. I had never heard of it happening to anyone I knew so I didn't think it could happen to me. I think that the law is stupid and at least in my state there have been many attempts to make it a three year difference starting at 16. So 16-19 and 17-20. We were only 9 months apart so I thought my case was a bit extreme. The law is treated black in white. I believe in justice and interestingly enough the law often hurts justice. I don't think it was justice to cause me so much stress and over 10k because I didn't say no to girl who was less than year younger than me, but the law is the law.

[Domesticated]

I think you might of read that wrong some how?

I wouldn't blame anyone else, my daughters, her friends or partners or the neighbor for whatever lead my kids to be ***, id rather just blame myself if they ever turn out that way it's not their fault or anyone else's that's their lives we're talking about. Though just like you, I really hope they don't.

And as for being mad, I'd be really piss if it was my daughter because 15 or 16, 17, your growing up, I know kids know rules, they know the punishments they know what can happen why take it lightly. If its against the law I hope my girls don't take any part of it! These kids watch T.V they can't bounce back and say "oh I didn't know it was illegal!" bull shit!

Oh I gotcha!

[deevergote]

There's really nobody to blame when someone is ***. It's like being left handed. Not the norm, but that's the way the brain works, and that's how it is. But regardless, you guys are doing a good job of keeping things on topic, so I don't want to drag it off topic!


There's no doubt about it that the girlfriend's parents are some seriously petty, closed-minded assholes. BUT, it doesn't change the fact that their 15 year old daughter was sexually active with an adult.
I do hope that the circumstances are taken into consideration with sentencing, but bad parenting or not, Kate is still guilty of having a sexual relationship with a minor.

It may seem like a gray area, and yeah... 18 year olds DO seem like kids, especially to guys like me in their 30s. But the law has to draw the line somewhere. There really can't be a gray area. You can't call an 18 year old a kid in one instance, and an adult in another.

[Hopeless]

There's really nobody to blame when someone is ***. It's like being left handed. Not the norm, but that's the way the brain works, and that's how it is. But regardless, you guys are doing a good job of keeping things on topic, so I don't want to drag it off topic!


There's no doubt about it that the girlfriend's parents are some seriously petty, closed-minded assholes. BUT, it doesn't change the fact that their 15 year old daughter was sexually active with an adult.
I do hope that the circumstances are taken into consideration with sentencing, but bad parenting or not, Kate is still guilty of having a sexual relationship with a minor.

It may seem like a gray area, and yeah... 18 year olds DO seem like kids, especially to guys like me in their 30s. But the law has to draw the line somewhere. There really can't be a gray area. You can't call an 18 year old a kid in one instance, and an adult in another.

i agree with this regarding grey areas vs black and white.

i just think its extremely petty of parents/girls that use this black and white language to their personal advantages to get some f*cked up , small minded version of self redemption knowing full well that these things have the potential to royally screw someone for the rest of their lives.

and unfortunately statutory is a law that is massively over abused in this way.

[deevergote]

Agreed.
Though I do believe that due to that frequent abuse, any adult should be VERY aware of the possibility.

Then again, the "it won't happen to me!" mindset is common, especially among young people, but pretty much throughout humankind as a whole. Everyone wants to think their new relationships will be perfect. That they'll never get an STD. That they'll never have to worry about unexpected pregnancy. That they'll never get a divorce. Early on in a relationship, all seems perfect... and nobody worries about what could happen if things if shit really hit the fan.

[turboAccordHSF]

This.

Is there anything she can do to counter-sue the parents? I mean I'm not trying to justify what she did I'm not trying to find and excuse for her either, if it was up to me jail time would do the trick. But what I'm trying to say is, maybe I might be speaking out of my ass here as been watching too much law and order S.V.U when I say this, BUT! Is there anything she can pull out on the parents? I don't have any law school in me but I know there can be some kind of bull shit she can come up with to avoid jail time, charges and can even flip the case over?

[deevergote]

It's possible. The whole "you allowed it to continue until I was 18" approach could work in her favor. It could even turn into a defamation of character suit, since the parents seemed to have waited for the right moment to do it. Not quite entrapment, as they're not police officers... but similar. They didn't effectively stop the relationship until serious damage could be done to Kate legally.

Of course, I don't know the details. The parents may have threatened to press charges if the relationship continued beyond Kate's 18th birthday. If that was the case, then they're likely not going to be held liable in any way.




Nothing like that would help Kate's case directly, but she could potentially exact some revenge. IF she can afford it after defending herself, that is!

[Hopeless]

Agreed.
Though I do believe that due to that frequent abuse, any adult should be VERY aware of the possibility.

even being careful doesnt work sometimes

a good friend of mine's brother is a registered sex offender because of statutory.

the sad thing is he met the girl IN A BAR (21+ only), and ID'ed her before taking her home (she had a fake ID saying she was 21)

she ended up being underage, and parents pressed charges when they found out.

realistically he should have been wary (i imagine she looked younger than 21), but the fact that he saw her ID and she was in a bar should be admissable defense (IMO)

[deevergote]

Agreed. In a situation like that, I assume he'd have quite a defense... provided he could prove that he looked at the ID.

Also, if the bar was carding at the door, he could even have a case against them. The presence of an underage girl (especially under 18... that's pretty extreme) is unlikely. There are professionals working the door, trained to read an ID, and identify a fake. The bar allowed her in, which would make for a very reasonable assumption that even if she IS under 21, that she's not under 18!
Granted, he's responsible. Unfair, but the fact remains, he is responsible for his actions.

Charges could probably be pressed against the girl, however. I assume she was 17, and no younger. She could be regarded as an adult by the law in her efforts to illegally enter a bar. If she can be regarded as an adult in that crime, then perhaps she can be regarded as an adult in her interactions with your friend.



I went to a bar last week, and didn't bring my ID (my friend drove.) I'm freakin' 33 years old. My hair is going gray. It was 6pm. All I had on me was my expired license (that I carry only to show people how fat I was in 2007... ) The kid at the door refused to allow me to enter. No valid ID, no entry. The DMV poked a hole in my expired ID to mark it as invalid, and that hole meant that the kid would not accept it as proof of age. Overcautious, but effective.

[turboAccordHSF]

If I was her, I'd get a lawyer, a very very good one too. It's life something that can deeply harm you, it's not a joke being registered as a sex offender you have to be known in your own neighborhood even if you move. You'd be effected in ways you can't imagine it's not worth it get a good ass lawyer. And learn from the mistake don't let it happen ever again. She's 18, she's a lesbian love is everywhere when your 18 it gets better and clubs start to be available to find a perfect girl.

My girlfriend now 1 year together and she mothers my kids like her own, was a "lesbian" ...how? Idk but I'm her first boyfriend she's 22 all we life since jr high school she's been dating girls and being with girls...till last year after my divorce she went from my best friend to my lover...people change...

Some people are confused so many possibilities and alot of chances to start fresh with a new girl, she can learn from this one and have a better life. As of right now she's at war and even if it her fault and its her responsibility she shouldn't give up keep going dude. Or dudette ..lol