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Resume: George W. Bush

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    Resume: George W. Bush

    This resume was posted over at my site... thought I'd share it here.
    It's amazes me that there's still support for this guy.

    He's gonna be needin' a new job in less than one year...



    GEORGE W. BUSH
    1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
    Washington, DC 20520


    EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE:


    Law Enforcement:
    I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for driving under the influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been "lost" and is not available.

    Military:
    I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining the Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam.

    College:
    I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. I was a cheerleader.


    PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:

    I ran for U.S. Congress and lost.

    I began my career in the oil business in Midland Texas , in 1975. I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas. The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.

    I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money.

    With the help of my father and our friends in the oil industry (including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected governor of Texas.


    ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS:


    I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies, making Texas the most polluted state in the Union. During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America.

    I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions in borrowed money.

    I set the record for the most executions by any governor in American history.

    With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida, and my father's appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President of the United States, after losing by over 500,000 votes.


    ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:

    I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal record.

    I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one billion dollars per week.

    I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury.

    I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history.

    I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period.

    I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.

    I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the U.S. stock market. In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans lost their jobs and that trend continues.

    I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in U.S. history. My "poorest millionaire," Condoleezza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her.

    I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips by a U.S. President.

    I am the all-time U.S. and world record -holder for receiving the most corporate campaign donations.

    My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends, Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S. history, Enron.

    My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court during my election decision.

    I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against investigation or prosecution. More time and money was spent investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than has been spent investigating one of the biggest corporate rip-offs in history.

    I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused to intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed.

    I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history.

    I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.

    I appointed more convicted criminals to my administration than any President in U.S. history.

    I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy in the history of the United States Government.

    I've broken more international treaties than any President in U.S. history.

    I am the first President in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission.

    I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law.

    I refused to allow inspector's access to U.S. "prisoners of war" detainees and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention.

    I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 US election).

    I set the record for fewest numbers of press conferences of any President since the advent of television.

    I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one-year period. After taking off the entire month of August, 2001, I presided over the worst security failure in U.S. history.

    I garnered the most sympathy ever for the U.S. after the World Trade Center attacks and less than a year later made the U.S. the most hated country in the world, the largest failure of diplomacy in world history.

    I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million people), shattering the record for protests against any person in the history of mankind.

    I am the first President in U.S. history to order an unprovoked, pre-emptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation. I did so against the will of the United Nations, the majority of U.S. Citizens and the world community.

    I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty benefits for active duty troops and their families in wartime.

    In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for attacking Iraq and then blamed the lies on our British friends.

    I am the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security.

    I am supporting development of a nuclear "Tactical Bunker Buster," a WMD.

    I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden to justice.


    RECORDS AND REFERENCES:

    All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my father's library, sealed and unavailable for public view.

    All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.

    All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-President, attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review. I specified that my sealed documents will not be available for 50 years.

    #2
    Im not going to defend Bush, but Im a firm believer that blaming one man for the actions of many is incredibly shortsighted.
    To-Do List for Today
    Be Awesome

    Comment


      #3
      Ya, seriously. He honestly isn't some terrible guy we should all hate. He is our president, cmon. If this were a comunist country you would be dead right now for posting this. Be alitle thankfull.

      Comment


        #4
        Originally posted by texasvtak
        Im not going to defend Bush, but Im a firm believer that blaming one man for the actions of many is incredibly shortsighted.
        X2 well said.


        Ge0rge Bu$# is nothing to be proud of, but I can't imagine all things done under his presidency being solely his doing.

        I think its harder to blame Bush when he is shown to be such a "failure"; thus in a very subtle way, Bu$# is the patsy which distracts the people from the major issues.

        What we are going to see with a new presidency is the public content having had choice. Merely the fact that "they the public" chose a new leader seems to be enough to quench the little thirst the general public had for change. The above is akin to giving a caged hamster two different toys to play with; although it chooses one toy and celebrates its choice, it is still in a cage. IMO.

        I am still amazed at how, even with the above record, there is no conceded effort by either the international or American community, towards a formal denunciation.

        but then again, what can we do, we are just common folk
        Last edited by lokuputha; 01-16-2008, 11:57 PM.
        DEVOTE


        __________________________________________
        FS: Lokuputha's Stuff
        "It's more fun to drive a slow car fast than it is to drive a fast car slow."-The Smartest Man In The World

        Comment


          #5
          Originally posted by texasvtak
          Im not going to defend Bush, but Im a firm believer that blaming one man for the actions of many is incredibly shortsighted.
          I know at least one of the statements above has nothing to do with Bush himself... though I have to admit, the man is an embarrassment... not as a president, but as a man in public view.



          Every man has, sitting to his left, a skeleton... Every man has, sitting to his right, his failings. If the man keeps out of the public eye, his skeletons and failings do as well. If he is seen by many, so are those skeletons and failings. A man will never be without these things... but to be successful in the public eye, he must be bigger than these things.






          Comment


            #6
            hahaha that made me laugh

            Comment


              #7
              propoganda is fun!
              -Mark-
              CB7
              CD5


              And if i could swim I'd swim out to you in the ocean
              Swim out to where you were floating in the dark.

              Comment


                #8
                Some people are smart enough to see through the cloud of bullshit.

                Anybody's resume can look either stupendous or ridiculous on paper. It shows nothing of the ultimate charachter or abilities of a person.

                It is like bench racing on an internet forum.

                Some the most important, successful, and influential people in history have been nothing special on paper. Some of the best people on paper have been nothing more than a vaporous joke.

                As far as his embarrassment to the world, anybody who actually paid any attention at all in Civics/Free Enterprise would realize how little he actually has to do with the functioning of the world.

                It amazes ME that people sit and pass judgement without understanding even the basics of how the system works.

                P.S. Just as an aside since we are on the political topics again.

                I was just watching a review of the Presidential candidates' financial portfolios the other day. CNBC took a look at them about 6mos-1 year ago, and then just a little while before they aired the piece.

                Billary (or I prefer Hillbilly), had quite the oil and "big business" stock in their portfolio. Of course, they knew this wouldn't look good for the election, so they dropped it, and traded it in for other more "politically correct" options.

                Of course, that didn't stop them profiting off of it, but now they can say with a clean Clinton conscience that they are against big oil and big business.

                George W Bush, may not be a lot of things, but then again, he isn't any worse than any of the others either.

                Anyone too biased to see that is nothing more than narrow minded.

                Comment


                  #9
                  P.S. Since we are internet bench racing for accomplished people,

                  I challenge anyone in this thread to create a personal resume and post it on here that makes the one above look like a joke.

                  Even a C student at Yale that got in because of who he knew, is probably better than your average State University Graduate.

                  Besides, to hold that against him is silly. That is how the Ivy League schools work in many cases. Considering the number of President's, leaders, and influential people that have come from Ivy League schools, it is pretty biased and retarded to hold it against him solely, when many of the other probably got in the same way. Probably even someone you look up to.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Owequitit, thanks again for an intellectual view on a subject. I'm not going to say that I'm an expert on politics because honestly I know nothing. But, I do know people, I know ignorance, and I know fads. People are ignorant as a whole. And when a group of people have a popular fad to follow that makes it seem as if their short-comings as citizens of this great country are actually someone else's fault(in this case, hating and blaming President Bush), they jump on it. Grow up. Quit posting propaganda-crap like that. You're not looked upon as any more knowledgeable on the topic. In fact, I believe you just made a fool out of yourself. By the way, what Ivy League school do you attend and what are your grades? What military service have you accomplished? What is your driving record? A government is supposed to be created of the people. He's imperfect. That makes him people. I don't want a perfect robot running this country.
                    My Members' Ride Thread - It's a marathon build, not a sprint. But keep me honest on the update frequency!

                    Comment


                      #11
                      oo, wow. Half of that shit is probably untrue if looked into, and Ive picked out a hand full of statements that are Untrue, just from reading it once.

                      I am no supporter of Bush, but you anti-bush people are soo fucking retarted sometimes, i have to side on Bush's side for this. If you guys seriously are gonna beleive the Bush caused EVERYTHING, you guys ARE retard's. Do you guys even know how the government works? He is a C student. At YALE. Do you know how hard it is to even get there, let alone graduate n all that? FUCKING YALE you motherfucker. Yes he has a oil business, its only smart that you have a back-up plan unless your main(in this case, political) plan dosent work out. You the people do not get to directly chose who is president, electoral college does. The economy does not go up and down depending on wat the president does. I could go on about this shit defending a man i dont like bc of you cloud-filled Heads.

                      Lets just wait until the next pres. is in, since every single candidate is a weirdo than wacko jacko.

                      Originally posted by Phempa
                      I set the record for the most executions by any governor in American history.
                      I really hope this is true. At least this man understands that the world is wayy overpopulated and it needs to go down. No better way of bringing back down than to kill the most useless and fuck ups that use of the resources. We need more of this.


                      PS-If hes such a bad guy, why did you re-elect him back into office for the SECOND time?

                      ----------------My 92 Honda Accord LX---------------------- My 97 Nissan 240sx LE----

                      NE GUYS, Buy the last of my accord parts

                      Comment


                        #12
                        let me guess, he pulled some strings. haha

                        ----------------My 92 Honda Accord LX---------------------- My 97 Nissan 240sx LE----

                        NE GUYS, Buy the last of my accord parts

                        Comment


                          #13
                          I dont care what people think that Bush is good. hes ideas suck ass.

                          since he came into office:

                          gas prices went up

                          we're fighting for over 5 years

                          billions of money went to war

                          heating for the house went up

                          taxes went up

                          forclosers went up

                          and life sucks ass.
                          miss my turbo cb7
                          moved onto volvos. dont know how that happened, just did

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Ahhh i love these threads.

                            Ben rocks!

                            Thus it is true he is not directly responsible for all of the things we are not happy with today but in the end he is the person who fights for us as a society, a nation.

                            Do you want this man fighting for you?

                            I dont.

                            Woot for 2008.

                            Edit- and if he were to get elected again i would snuff his ass.

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Originally posted by quickangel93
                              I dont care what people think that Bush is good. hes ideas suck ass.

                              since he came into office:

                              gas prices went up

                              we're fighting for over 5 years

                              billions of money went to war

                              heating for the house went up

                              taxes went up

                              forclosers went up

                              and life sucks ass.
                              I will respond to this later, and show you just how unrelated it is.

                              Comment

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