Questions for the dads with daughters...

[Makaveli2k]

It's obviously made Leung into a responsible figure. Mom can't do everything by herself.

Life isn't always fair, sometimes you have to bite your tongue and just take it.

I'm sure his little siblings will appreciate it later on in life as well as his mother.

If you weren't so far away Leung I'd give you a pat on the back. Good job bro.

[HondaFan81]

I have two younger sisters.

IMO, if you strike fear into every BF she has, she will start hiding them on you. The BF will always change in time and that would get tiring. The only thing you have a chance at controlling is her, but as people mentioned you can't be too overbearing or she will ignore you. Keep your relationship with her independent that of the one with your parents. You don't want her thinking you're the tattle-tale, she'll just hide things from you and your parents. If you retain a good relationship with her, she'll end up coming to you, rather than your parents.

You have to gain your sister's trust, if you haven't already. They will come to you before they come to parents, as they will hide things from parents. Try to stay on her "cool" side (so she doesn't hide things from you), but let her know you seriously care about her. Tell her the reality of things and to not be naive to it. Bad things can happen, so don't put herself in those situations and learn to avoid them. Explain texting/sexting, leaving themselves alone with guys around alcohol/drugs/parties, etc. You're a guy, be honest with crap you've seen and know happens. Girls will date guys eventually, the more you try to restrict the more fun it becomes and they get rebelious. Another key is to stay in communication with her, so you're updated.

I'm happy to hear you actually care for your sister, keep it up!

[kc8enb07]

No body wants to date a 27 year old who lives at home with mom and has kids who aren't his kids.

I think i need therapy.

i know how that is, 24 about 25 here and at home. but make it known why you are at home. being the father figure for younger sister and bros might be attractive

heck i wish i had that excuse

[HondaFan81]

yeah it makes it all hard for me because i've been wanting to move out forever.. when the oldest of us four moved out, basically all the responsibility was dumped on me.

I've basically reared my kid brother and sister from infancy so that our mom could go to work and pay for the house. crap man i had a daily schedule back then, wake up, go to work, go home, eat, pick the kids up from school and then feed them, help them with their homework, go to bed and repeat. I've been doing that for the past eight years ever since i got out of high school.
Hell when i was in middle school, i had to push both kids in a stroller to the baby sitter on my way to school. Since they are in high school now, things have loosened up for me. i can actually go do things now with my friends instead of being home all the time but shit man.. i have terrible skills with meeting people(women). No body wants to date a 27 year old who lives at home with mom and has kids who aren't his kids.

I think i need therapy.

You don't need therapy man. You'll make a great husband and father someday, think of it that way. What you need is to get time for yourself soon and some privacy to get on with your own life, the rest will follow. You're at the age of serious relationships and trust me, the good girls will dig your past and your responsibility. Just make sure you have your own fun before you start knocking out kids of your own!

[Leung]

I have two younger sisters.

IMO, if you strike fear into every BF she has, she will start hiding them on you. The BF will always change in time and that would get tiring. The only thing you have a chance at controlling is her, but as people mentioned you can't be too overbearing or she will ignore you. Keep your relationship with her independent that of the one with your parents. You don't want her thinking you're the tattle-tale, she'll just hide things from you and your parents. If you retain a good relationship with her, she'll end up coming to you, rather than your parents.

You have to gain your sister's trust, if you haven't already. They will come to you before they come to parents, as they will hide things from parents. Try to stay on her "cool" side (so she doesn't hide things from you), but let her know you seriously care about her. Tell her the reality of things and to not be naive to it. Bad things can happen, so don't put herself in those situations and learn to avoid them. Explain texting/sexting, leaving themselves alone with guys around alcohol/drugs/parties, etc. You're a guy, be honest with crap you've seen and know happens. Girls will date guys eventually, the more you try to restrict the more fun it becomes and they get rebelious. Another key is to stay in communication with her, so you're updated.

I'm happy to hear you actually care for your sister, keep it up!

i've told those two that even though my door is always shut, if they ever wanted to talk about anything all they had to do was ask unless it was out of my range like advance levels of math. Even though sometimes i act like i'm not paying attention, i actually am.

[RagingAsian]

Leung, you remind me of myself.

I am very reserved and I am pretty emotionless, until the big shit happens, and then I erupt and people know when to get out of the way.

But I want to know, how did she react? Cause I know your thing about livin at home, taking care of the front, while the parents are trying to keep the house itself afloat. but like Hondafan said, it will come around.

Maybe everyone is right about scaring the shit out of everyone being not such a good idea, but its something I would still keep close if everything else fails.

Hondafan brings up a good point, be very honest about what you, yourself have seen guys do to girls at the parties you have been too. honesty is the best policy and maybe, just maybe you can scare her straight.

[phatdoughnut]

The thing I hate about girls (cant wait to have daughterS) is that they have that mind set, well my brother does it so why cant I? or he does it so why cant I? and they dont understand that sometimes they cant get themselves out of situations that guys can.

As much as I dont want to say this I have too, girls sometimes need to be protected by daddy or big brother and boundaries need to be set because boys and girls are most definatly not created as equal as girls might think.

I know that sounded kind of sexest, but O wells.

[apuforyou]

What's creepy is that I remember being in jr high when people started messing around, a few girls were having babies by their freshman/sophmore year already and I thought that was normal at the time

I'm not that old yet, only 20, but thinking back now... and looking at kids that are that age now... EWWWW

[Shag Wagon]

Man I am going to tell you something about those little 13 year olds. bout 5 years ago when I was 15 I had those lil 13 year olds all over me the whole time I was hangin out with them. Really man all they want to do is have a bf to drag around and to make out with. I hate to break it to ya but there is nothing you can do to stop her from doing things you dont want her to do. If she wants to "fuck" then she will fuck. Im sure she wont do that since shes that young. But maybe when she turns 16 you might want to invest in a birth control shot and tell her to strap up. Then tell her to pay for her own phone and whatever else if she wants to go out and chill. Just dont worry about it man. Let shit play out and keep a snitch to keep tabs on her.

[phatdoughnut]

well not only that, but younger girls tend to go for guys way out of their bracket because, well they have cars and jobs hahaha.

[Tippey764]

Man I am going to tell you something about those little 13 year olds. bout 5 years ago when I was 15 I had those lil 13 year olds all over me the whole time I was hangin out with them. Really man all they want to do is have a bf to drag around and to make out with. I hate to break it to ya but there is nothing you can do to stop her from doing things you dont want her to do. If she wants to "fuck" then she will fuck. Im sure she wont do that since shes that young. But maybe when she turns 16 you might want to invest in a birth control shot and tell her to strap up. Then tell her to pay for her own phone and whatever else if she wants to go out and chill. Just dont worry about it man. Let shit play out and keep a snitch to keep tabs on her.

Nice post count ( 999 )

[RagingAsian]

The thing I hate about girls (cant wait to have daughterS) is that they have that mind set, well my brother does it so why cant I? or he does it so why cant I? and they dont understand that sometimes they cant get themselves out of situations that guys can.

As much as I dont want to say this I have too, girls sometimes need to be protected by daddy or big brother and boundaries need to be set because boys and girls are most definatly not created as equal as girls might think.

I know that sounded kind of sexest, but O wells.

I agree with this. Girls sometimes think they can do stuff on their own when they're 13...sure you can do some...but us guys know what the dealio is.

i'll be honest Leung, if I was in your position, your sister woulda called the police already....to report her friend being thrown through a wall.

[DrSzSoLDIeR]

b a dick all u want, take her phone, try to put her on lockdown, try yelling at her or the one she might be soon be fuckin...but that just doesnt seem to do it huh?

look, theres obviosly something that u know that shes not understanding, MAYBE tell whats on ur mind and how to go about things before she goes out and fucks her life up all because u tried to restrain her from being with some boy

all this strickly brother or father shit doesnt work and i dont know why people think its the way 2 go

think of it this way, if there was no school, how would we be getting educated?

their teens, they need to b told by their elders what to look out for, talk to them about your experiences that you've had with gurls, what worries u... just like the way u talk to your own boys about it

cant just have her wonder off with some boy you knowing personally what she is capable of getting herself into all because u wanted to be "mr. back off from my little gurl"

its obvious that you dont want her to fuck n get pregnant, stop being a pussy and tell her, no other way around

dont try to stop her from fuckin cause it will happen whether u like it or not just tell her how to be safe and she will understand (even though its awkward but hey defenetely made me feel 100 times better), make her aware of everything of ur knowledge

[lil_dcb7]

In my case, my younger sister(13-14) seems to be hitting on all of my younger brother's(15-16) male friends whenever they come over. Frankly it pisses me off that she's being a whore. I shouldn't call her that but i'm at a loss of words right now.

I hope you know, shes sexting by know.

I've been through it. We need to start a support group.

My sister's the same. Fucking. Way.

[mappyCB7]

I'm 20 and have a sixteen year old sister so I can get where you're coming from. I Am very protective of her but I don't smother her I tend to play as more of a mentor. I'm very pleased with her cus she's smart and in to studying and she hasn't yet had a boyfriend. However she has started asking me about boys and "why don't I have a boyfriend?" which threw me off at first but I'm glad she feels like she can talk to me. I just let her know that she's a smart girl and that I don't mind her having a foyfriend but I trust her not to do anything stupid. I can openly talk to her about anything and that's the key.
You have to be able to talk things out with her be a mentor and guide her in the right path don't just throw up a bunch of boundaries...help her create her own.
my older brother hates the concept of my sis growing up so he just gets pissed at the word BOY and that's why my sis won't discuss shit with him.

but whatever we're talking about you here.

In my honest opinion (adn don't take this the wrong way)

I think your sister is sneaking out to fuck around. She abuses every privilage she has and she leaves without notice to her "friends house?"
I think you need to have a serious talk with this girl. Don't be a dick just school her on the reality of what she's doing. She might not like it at first but she'll realize you have a point eventually.

most importantly just be there for her man no matter what she does be there for her.

As far as dudes coming over... well in my experience I have witnessed a couple dudes at parties and such that try to get at my sister. I just play the cock block and stare at him untill he realises he ain't gettin a numba! You know I give him the old "don't do it!!" look.
it usually works. Then I give my sister a hard time about it and she usually isn't phased by guys trying to put the moves on her she's a good one. But I still have regular talks with her to keep up with her.

oh and if your friends try to get at her smack the shit out of them in that case i think you're allowed to do that cus it's not cool!