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Prostate checks

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    Prostate checks

    So, I just want to say to the guys on this forum, if you haven't done so, get your prostate checked.

    Here's my story:

    I was home alone this last Tuesday, felt this weird feeling in the lower pit of my stomach, didn't feel like anything I've ever felt before, caused me some concern. Anyhow, I get up, head to the bathroom to see if maybe droppin a deuce would alleviate the problem. I'm sittin on the toilet for a few minutes, my stomach starts churning, with no notice comes the most incredible pressure followed by a bit of a gurgle, then out comes the most gut wrenching shit I've ever dropped in my life, it just came, I wasn't pushing at all. I wait out the storm, when I think I'm done I grab the toilet paper to wipe, I start off with light pressure, drop the first wad of paper, reach for a second, this time I apply a little more pressure, I'm starting to feel clean, I figure a third time should do the trick, not so much, it just didn't feel clean, so I grab for a forth wad of toilet paper, that's when it happens, my middle finger busted straight thru that shit, I swear to God I hit my prostate, I'm shootin baby batter all over my underwear, pants, shoes, a towel that was on the floor. I sit there in shock, should I be alarmed, or amazed. Should I tell the wife the key to mind blowing orgasms comes from having a finger up my butt? surely I can't do that, that's embarrassing.

    Now everyone in the house bitches that I buy Great Value 1 ply toilet paper, I can't tell em why.

    #2
    Hahahahahahahahahaha.

    Comment


      #3
      You had an orgasm by poking your finger up your butt?

      1999 BMW M3
      2001 Honda CR-V SE RT4WD
      2005 Chevrolet Tahoe Z71
      2015 Suzuki V-Strom 650

      Comment


        #4
        Originally posted by JoshM View Post
        You had an orgasm by poking your finger up your butt?
        LMAO. He went from talking about getting your prostate checked to checking himself to having a mind blowing orgasm from putting his finger up his butt. This tmi lol. I don't need to know how you masturbate lol.

        Comment


          #5
          So you learned to milk the prostate? It's not just something funny from those american pie movies. Congratulations, but I'd recommend you learn to lube instead of just surprising yourself with the cheap TP!

          Comment


            #6
            Originally posted by visualpoet View Post
            Congratulations, but I'd recommend you learn to lube instead of just surprising yourself with the cheap TP!
            Jon speaks from experience.

            1999 BMW M3
            2001 Honda CR-V SE RT4WD
            2005 Chevrolet Tahoe Z71
            2015 Suzuki V-Strom 650

            Comment


              #7
              I knew this thread was taking a wrong turn from the start lol. First Jake taking pcitures of his footlongs and now this.

              Comment


                #8
                all i get from this is to beware of 1ply TP.


                - 1993 Accord LX - White sedan (sold)
                - 1993 Accord EX - White sedan (wrecked)
                - 1991 Accord EX - White sedan (sold)
                - 1990 Accord EX - Grey sedan (sold)
                - 1993 Accord EX - White sedan (sold)
                - 1992 Accord EX - White coupe (sold)
                - 1993 Accord EX - Grey coupe (stolen)
                - 1993 Accord SE - Gold coupe (sold)
                Current cars:
                - 2005 Subaru Legacy GT Wagon - Daily driver
                - 2004 Chevrolet Express AWD - Camper conversion

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                  #9
                  Dude! Bahahahahaha!!!!! Holy shit thats so fucked up!!

                  Comment


                    #10
                    little bit excesive force on the wiping wouldnt you say? were not trying to rip our selfs a new asshole just get it clean......lol you fingered your own butt lol homo.


                    Sold too: Grumpys93, '93CB7Ex, Bunta, prodh22accord, SSMAccord, fleetw00d

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Originally posted by JoshM View Post
                      You had an orgasm by poking your finger up your butt?
                      Siggy!

                      Originally posted by baracuda View Post
                      little bit excesive force on the wiping wouldnt you say? were not trying to rip our selfs a new asshole just get it clean......lol you fingered your own butt lol homo.
                      Thats what i was thinking. Once is ok. Second time, fine. Third time....ok, if necessary, but a fourth??? C'mon now...


                      KeepinItClean | EnviousFilms | NoBigDeal | YET2BSCENE | .· ` ' / ·. | click here.
                      Originally posted by Jarrett
                      Is there a goal you're trying to accomplish besides looking dope as hell?

                      Comment


                        #12
                        I'm not into letting nothin' up my butt, not even by accident. I'm not knocking anyone, I'm just stuck in my ways when it comes to things going there. Nothing should go in there when I'm thinking about my a-hole, but I know a few girls who like and dis-like it. It's a no go for me. But I will put in a woman's if she asks me and it fits, as long as there is a vagina a few mils away. My dookie shoot is "OFF LIMITS/RESTRICTED AREA!"

                        EDIT: Wipe three times using a baby wipe or wipe a few times then wash up.
                        The Lord watches over me!

                        "Stop punching down on my people!!!"

                        - D. Chappelle

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                          #13
                          aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hh. later.
                          Avoiding dirt at all costs

                          Comment


                            #14
                            What ever you do, just make sure the doctor can't palm a basketball.
                            Originally posted by chessboxer
                            We know these are good cars, but for some reason, all the world wants are freaking civics and tegs. Bleck.
                            Bought From: Slammed4thGen TypeG x2DeevergoteBillKisme

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                              #15
                              I honestly thought this was building up to you having an actual medical problem like something had burst or some shit (no pun intended) and you were bleeding or had to go to the hospital. I was about to feel bad for you. Then it turned into you sticking your finger up your ass and nutting all over yourself and the bathroom.

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