Girl Trouble

[91 EX-R]

UPDATED! scroll...

well everyone, i don't know what to do anymore.

first off, i'll be honest with everyone. i'm a virgin. i'm 19 now, finished high school and headin towards college in September.

my main problem is that i'm extremely shy around girls. i don't know why. even when i think stuff through in my head before, it doesn't come out right when it's actually happening. i just get worried about stuff, like if i say the wrong thing or something. yea, i know, it's kinda weird.

the second thing is that i can't seem to find many girls i find attractive, and when i do, they're usually already taken.

there's only one girl i've actually liked recently, and she seems to be kinda weird. it's like, she told her friends that she likes me, but when we're around each other, she acts like she wants nothing to do with me. i guess the reason i was attracted to her, was because she was kinda like me. she is really shy, and i'm almost positive she's never been with anyone before either.

it's hard for me to meet other girls because i'm out of school now and won't be going back until September. i dunno, it's just depressing to me. i'd like to hear you guys' opinions/advise on this please.

here's what i posted earlier, as everyone seems to read the first post instead:

recently, my friend has been chilling with this girl. they're just friends though, as i asked him what his intentions were, and that's what he said, so don't get it twisted.

this girl is awesome. she's funny, smart, and she's pretty cute too. basically, she's everything i look for in a girl. but here's the problem:

she chills with us. the few people i chill with consider her as a friend. i do also, but she's basically like Elaine on Seinfeld.

now, i'm worried about doing something, simply because if i do, it could make it awkward between the whole group of us. but if i don't, i might regret not doing something.

i'm in a difficult situation, and was wondering what everyone thought of it.

[Clueless]

who cares if your a virgin, it's your damn choice....most of the time.

[ric3rboi23]

i gots the same shyness thing going on >.>

sucks, i know =/

[ric3rboi23]

and for some reason all the best looking ones are taken by the dickheads.
WTF people?

[92accordbl]

best advice man..be yourself just "let it all hang out" so to speak. Dont be a dick be cool. Never let'em see ya sweat is my motto lol. And ya who gives a shit virgin or not. You'll find that lucky girl one day. Its all in the higher power...good luck still

[Joshy]

and for some reason all the best looking ones are taken by the dickheads.
WTF people?

you're not looking hard enough.

keep your head up buddy. just wait until college starts. be sure to initiate plenty of conversations with those cuties you've got your eyes on. don't just ignore them - you can't be timid if you wanna pursue!

[Losiracer2]

yeah college will definitely be fun the first year, my advice, live in the dorms on campus...not to score and get an STD, but to meet WAY more people than if you just lived at home. Most of my classes the first year at ASU were w/ the same people, it was kinda like a group block of classes, but some of the girls were pretty damn hot. And since we had group projects, you kinda go w/ them in the dorms and work on stuff. It's cool. And most of the people live near campus anyway, if not on campus in the dorms, so you'll get more opportunities to meet and talk to girls. You just need to be more involved and don't worry so much about the consequences. Just be nice and courteous to them, crack a joke or two, make them laugh. Then you'll be theirs forever, lol.... that was so cliche. Anyways, Join some groups or clubs your first semester there. And also go to all the orientation things they have the first week of college, you meet a lot of people there too. Remember, everyone is gonna be nervous and timid there to, so you won't be alone.

[ACC0RD22]

I was sorta in the same position as you right now when I was going into college. "Just be yourself" is some great advice, but when "yourself" is a shy kid who cant seem to find the right thing to say its a bit hard to take.

Dont worry though, from what Ive found, most of the time girls find guys fumbling with words because theyre nervous to be more cute then stupid. At least when theyre into you.

Also, I would sweat the fact that youre a virgin. I waited for someone that I felt like I was in "love" with, or so I thought (This is more a "she turned out to be a different person than I thought she was, even after 16 months of dating" than a "I didnt like her like I thought I did" thing). Just wait until it feels right. Youll know, believe me.

[head4life]

try taking some valium and spitting game

[12gage]

try taking some valium and spitting game

fuckin rofl

[King James]

If you dont get laid at college you have a problem....Main reason is...BOOZE....and to a lesser extent...drugs (its amazing what girls will do when on E)....but if your waiting till the "right one"....give up and throw it in the first girl who will let you....i didnt wait for the "right one"....but I let alot of girls pass me by thinking I was with the right one....and she left me for another dude....so fuck relationships.....your young.....wait to get into a relationship....especailly if your going into college.

Also for the first time try to get a girl who also isnt a virgin....but make sure she knows you are so she doesnt have unreal expectations haha....but its easier to do it with a girl experienced....cuz first time sex sucks regardless (most of the time anyways)...so you might as well get a girl who knows what shes doing lol

[evil_demon_01]

Hey mate at least you have taken a step, and told someone - even though it is only us. Sometimes that can be one of the hardest things. Props

Get out and about, meet more people and expand you views. Although always easier said than done, It is good practice for when you get older - You dont want to be 50 and have no friends or missus.
Live life like theres no tommorow, If you see a girl in the street you find attractive, ask if she wants to have lunch sometime, if she is hanging around her mates, try and lure her away from them just for a second - Eg Ask HER for directions (not the group) and play dumb so she has to physically stop and point it out. Don't let the shyness take control of your life, and always remember the worst a girl can say is No.

[Old School]

Since you didn't ask a real question heres an opinion, your LAME around women.
OK I know the truth hurts but that whats going on with you now.
How do I fix this... You ask?
Well it ain't gonna be as easy as reading my BS but it may help.

You have a lack of confidence, you think you don't stack-up well against other guys with women. Most likely other things growing up (parents had problems-abuse-other crap)

Well F that, It's your life now so take some control. Trust me I can tell from your "question" you are a intelligent,thoughtful,caring person even if getting LAYED is at the top of your list for now. I know it's #1 or 2 (the CB) on mine.

Just those attributes put you in the top 50% or better of guys.
The "don't let em see you sweat" comment is a good one. Women like wild animals can smell fear, and they don't find it attractive.

Build your confidence by knowing most guys your age are just as big a mess as you are now. There doing better because they take a chance and know they will GET OVER REJECTION. Take that chance, REJECTION won't kill you.

As far as "many girls i find attractive, and when i do, they're usually already taken." There not married and many would like to dump the looser there with for a better guy like you.

As far as the weird girl "she told her friends that she likes me, but when we're around each other, she acts like she wants nothing to do with me." she smells the fear and is not sure what is is, SO MAKE A MOVE before she figures it out.

Your still young but not getting any younger. Get out there and get some women. Don't get to serious for now and wear a HAT. (thats a rubber)

one - two - three - GO!!!!!!!!!!!

And a great way to get a date is to state a "wrong" fact about something to a women you like to date and let her correct you. Insist you are right and make a bet for lunch (or something better wink wink). You loose and have to take her out. Old but effective.

LAST EDIT
Like your title says GIRL TROUBLE
Be prepared for plenty of that. It doesn't end.

[jdmwannabe]

Dude dont sweat it, I didnt wait and if I could go back I would have waited. I think its better that way.....on the other hand if you do just go for it, wrap your tool.

[visualpoet]

Plenty of good advice in here. I can understand being shy and nervous, but you can't let it keep you from making an effort. If you actually put yourself out there, you'll find that things will happen. They aren't going to come to you, you have to go to them. Be yourself, be polite, be assertive, but not pushy. Make sure you're clean, neat and smell good. Above all, take a chance. When I went to my first HS reunion (many years ago) women I had been afraid to approach back in the day were coming up to me and telling me that they had always had the biggest crush on me. One I had asked out a few times (she laughed at me everytime and I always just walked off feeling small and stupid) told me she had laughed out of nervousness. She said she had wanted to go out, but just couldn't help it and then felt too embarrassed to correct it back then. (She also got drunk and offered to make it up to me in the parking lot if I wanted her to.) You just have to take a chance. Be funny and charming. Women are fickle things at your age, so don't sweat it to much, just keep trying.
As far as the virgin thing, good for you. You won't die from it, and it's a healthy attitude these days. It also could get you laid. A lot of women love the thought of deflowering virgins. I wouuldn't use it as a lead in for conversation, but definitely let a woman know about it if things are going that way. You can also prepare by educating yourself. Read "Everything you always wanted to know about sex..." the Kinsey Report, and a book called "ESO - Extended Sexual Orgasm" (I think, it's been at least 20 years since I read it). If you go into the game with the purpose of pleasing her, you'll get to please her again. Women will overlook a quick finish on your part if you make sure they are satisfied. And they talk to each other, so if you learn to make her sound retarded, her friends will know about it and you'll see the curiousity in their eyes.
It sound like confidence is your biggest hurdle. If you have any female friends, talk to them, ask them for advice. Don't let it discourage you. Everyone gets lucky occasionally. So unless you've got a hunchback, open weeping sores and a smell like a camel's ass in August, just relax and wait. It'll happen. I had a buddy that would just approach women in a bar and ask "Hi, you wanna have a couple drinks and go fuck?" And it worked. Not every woman, but every night that he tried. His philosophy was that women are the same as men, basically. Shy, unsure and needing to be found attractive and wanted. He might have to ask 25 or 30 women before one agreed, but, how long does it take (even acting cool, not just walking down the line and asking them one after the other) to ask 30 women a question? He usually walked out of the bar with a not ugly woman within two hours. He did get slapped occasionally, but only .5% of the time at worst.

So:
Be patient
Be clean
Be yourself
Be assertive
Be knowledgable
Be ready to get rejected and
Be ready to shrug it off and move on.

Good luck