your funniest sex fail..... go ahead confess

[91@CCORD74]

One time I had sex with this chick, then went to my GF house and we was about to have sex I reached in my pocket and pulled out a open rubber pack, there was a moment of silence. Then she pushed me off started going insane I ran for dear life ....she never let me hit again...

[Brandoncb7]

well lol actually this morning around 6:30 I hit this chick up and said I need some of dat fyre head from you , she was like when i was like now. So I went over her crib, got sucked up for bout 20 mins. Now I had a homeboi that wants to flip this chick and she will do it, I was driving and texting at the same time, anyway I started texting a msg and it said " Aye I just got sucked up by Maia Jew " and I accidently sent it to Maia I didnt know til she texted me back "Ummmm wrong person hunny" I think i wud of felt betta if she got mad cas its like now i feel bad, but I must admit I almost died laughing when i got her msg

Yeah you're not living that one down for a while lol. I did that with my ex girlfriend. Except for I was writing an e-mail to another girl and accidentally sent it to my girlfriend lol. You can't deny it either. You just have to deal with that shit.

[Macaqueistrong]

My senior year of High School I ended up sneaking into one of my friends room. We started making out and slowly took eachothers clothes off, we were getting into it doing all sorts of positions and what not. Well weve been known to get wild and make all kinds of noise so she decided to turn on the radio so her parents wouldnt hear, we continued to go at it without any interuption. Eventually I was on top of her and giving it to her real slick like and I got that feeling like I was about to finish, so this girl being the freak that she is wanted me to explode in her mouth, so I pull out and as Im shoving it in her mouth I accidentally shoot a little bit on her face!

The crazy thing was that since the radio was on we didnt hear her mom coming up the stairs to say goodnight to her daughter, I heard someone grab the door knob so I dropped to the floor and rolled under the bed, my friend grabs her sheets and covers herself up quickly. Her mom comes in and tells her daughter, "Honey, Im tired and Im going to sleep, Goodnight!" and she turns to walk out, but right before she does she stops and looks at her daughter, grabs a tissue and says, "Looks like you've got a bit of a runny nose." as she hands it to her daughter. Then just like that she walks out the door to hit the hay!

Talk about a sticky situation!

[MclovinRR]

well lol actually this morning around 6:30 I hit this chick up and said I need some of dat fyre head from you , she was like when i was like now. So I went over her crib, got sucked up for bout 20 mins. Now I had a homeboi that wants to flip this chick and she will do it, I was driving and texting at the same time, anyway I started texting a msg and it said " Aye I just got sucked up by Maia Jew " and I accidently sent it to Maia I didnt know til she texted me back "Ummmm wrong person hunny" I think i wud of felt betta if she got mad cas its like now i feel bad, but I must admit I almost died laughing when i got her msg

hahahah ive done one of these before.... but mines actually read..... dude i just got out of mireyas house and i think i need to rub my rooster with bleach cuz after we where done i went to the bathroom and smelled something funky i thought it was a left over tampon and low and behold it was my cawk... her box was smelling like a barrel of dead monkeys and 3 month old fish under the sun the whole time..... then i got a text back from funky1 (mireya) that said.... fuck you you prick us skinny girls have problems!!!.....lol... needless to say she texted me about a month later saying.... hey sorry about last time i douched today waddya say???...i just cringed and didn't reply...

but you get a 9 for this i laughed alot

One time I had sex with this chick, then went to my GF house and we was about to have sex I reached in my pocket and pulled out a open rubber pack, there was a moment of silence. Then she pushed me off started going insane I ran for dear life ....she never let me hit again...

i chuckled and why in the effin hell would you leave an empty wrapper in your pocket?? dude there are a couple of infentions called toilets, trashcans, and windows... use one and dispose of dude... come on...lol but none the less you get a 6

[acc0rd_adicti0n]

My senior year of High School I ended up sneaking into one of my friends room. We started making out and slowly took eachothers clothes off, we were getting into it doing all sorts of positions and what not. Well weve been known to get wild and make all kinds of noise so she decided to turn on the radio so her parents wouldnt hear, we continued to go at it without any interuption. Eventually I was on top of her and giving it to her real slick like and I got that feeling like I was about to finish, so this girl being the freak that she is wanted me to explode in her mouth, so I pull out and as Im shoving it in her mouth I accidentally shoot a little bit on her face!

The crazy thing was that since the radio was on we didnt hear her mom coming up the stairs to say goodnight to her daughter, I heard someone grab the door knob so I dropped to the floor and rolled under the bed, my friend grabs her sheets and covers herself up quickly. Her mom comes in and tells her daughter, "Honey, Im tired and Im going to sleep, Goodnight!" and she turns to walk out, but right before she does she stops and looks at her daughter, grabs a tissue and says, "Looks like you've got a bit of a runny nose." as she hands it to her daughter. Then just like that she walks out the door to hit the hay!

Talk about a sticky situation!

ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


best thing ive ever read in my life

[MclovinRR]

My senior year of High School I ended up sneaking into one of my friends room. We started making out and slowly took eachothers clothes off, we were getting into it doing all sorts of positions and what not. Well weve been known to get wild and make all kinds of noise so she decided to turn on the radio so her parents wouldnt hear, we continued to go at it without any interuption. Eventually I was on top of her and giving it to her real slick like and I got that feeling like I was about to finish, so this girl being the freak that she is wanted me to explode in her mouth, so I pull out and as Im shoving it in her mouth I accidentally shoot a little bit on her face!

The crazy thing was that since the radio was on we didnt hear her mom coming up the stairs to say goodnight to her daughter, I heard someone grab the door knob so I dropped to the floor and rolled under the bed, my friend grabs her sheets and covers herself up quickly. Her mom comes in and tells her daughter, "Honey, Im tired and Im going to sleep, Goodnight!" and she turns to walk out, but right before she does she stops and looks at her daughter, grabs a tissue and says, "Looks like you've got a bit of a runny nose." as she hands it to her daughter. Then just like that she walks out the door to hit the hay!

Talk about a sticky situation!

epic!!!hahahahah you sir are in the lead!!! 10 across the board

[Brandoncb7]

ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


best thing ive ever read in my life

She even wanted more after reading what he was trying to send to other people about her lmfao. Fucking epic. He was doing something right lol.

[iwork4mycb7]

well lol actually this morning around 6:30 I hit this chick up and said I need some of dat fyre head from you , she was like when i was like now. So I went over her crib, got sucked up for bout 20 mins. Now I had a homeboi that wants to flip this chick and she will do it, I was driving and texting at the same time, anyway I started texting a msg and it said " Aye I just got sucked up by Maia Jew " and I accidently sent it to Maia I didnt know til she texted me back "Ummmm wrong person hunny" I think i wud of felt betta if she got mad cas its like now i feel bad, but I must admit I almost died laughing when i got her msg

ill hate to be in that situation,

wll here goes my story, it was at work....
wll there was this day that i worked from 6 am-1 am a lot of work,so next day i had to wake up at 6am again, so i didnt even shower iwas too lazy right, so wen i got to work around 11 or so i was trying to convince this co-worker to suck me up, and she was like no and this and that and kapum i took it out and she was like ok but overhere (in a little dark room), so she was getting it on and she stopd like after 1 min. her excue was that it was too big and thick so it wouldnt fit her good, so i was like just keep going and grabd her head and made her keep going after another min or so she stop and same thing i was really hard so i kept making her after she didnt want to so i was like ok just jerk me off n she did untill i busted a nut, from there she didnt want to suck me up no more cuz " it was too big and thick," then i member that i hadnt shower in more than 26 hrs... lol and i was all sweaty mayb thats why.. lol f... that b...ch

[Mitch]

Thats the lamest excuse ever....a girl saying a guys dick is too big.

[turbomaxx]

Mines not as good as some of these but here goes.

I was pounding my now ex girlfriend. We were the only ones home so we were gettin it for real, she's screamin and making all sorts of noise. Well, we didn't hear my dad pull up in the driveway. She's already gone 2 times, and right before her third my dad comes and bangs on the door and says, quote, "TELL HER TO GET OFF THAT THING BEFORE SHE FUCKING BREAKS IT!"

Needless to say, we still finished.

Another time we got home from school and were doin what we do, and my MOTHER comes and knocks on my door asking me what I want for supper. I replied, I don't care. She kept asking and imploring so I got frustrated and she said, "what are you doing thats so important?"

me-"I'm having sex, mom. Do you mind?"
girl-"oh... Hi Dawn..."
mom-"OH MY GOD..."

lol

[4U2H8ME]

Ok, this one goes back to my younger days. I was about 19. Back then it was real hard to find girls my age that were into anal, and I was curious. I was dating a girl and being that she was on the freaky side I was tempted to ask, but afraid of having her spaz out on me like other chicks had. So one night we're getting it on, I'm hitting it doggy style, and she turns to me and says "put it in my ass.", It caught me completely off guard, cause it was the last thing I was expecting to hear, and I immediately jizzed from her request.

[RagingAsian]

[jacOOLito]

[Macaqueistrong]

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Bromance? Softee? Out of Order? THE???? This story will not go well for you!!!!

[Phempa]

Yours sex story starts with

Me and my homeboy ....

and goes on to explain how you could not "get it up" for a chick you (supposedly) wanted to phuck.



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