your funniest sex fail..... go ahead confess

[MclovinRR]

To bad I don't have a funny story.well once I got caught by my sister.idk if that counts tho.

only if while she was backing out of the room she fell over then rolled down the stairs and while you where getting off your shawty to run help her you tripped over the sheets and fell on top of a soda can and your cawk got cought inside the can and they had to rush you to the hospital then all the nurses took pictures and posted it on the internet......

but unfortunately this didn't happen so no thats not funny

[MikeW]

I still cant really think of an "SexFail" that ive had.

Ive had close calls being caught or there's been a silly moment, but nothing epic or worth remembering.

The only thing i can really come up with is that my ex thought that if she farted while taking it in the ass, that it would somehow kill her, lol.

My first time ever eating her out, it was dark and lets just say that our actions up until that point had gotten things "flowing" and well, i didnt notice until half-way through and yeah....i got a little more ketchup on my burger, than i wanted.

Egh. Still grosses me out.

[MclovinRR]

I still cant really think of an "SexFail" that ive had.

Ive had close calls being caught or there's been a silly moment, but nothing epic or worth remembering.

The only thing i can really come up with is that my ex thought that if she farted while taking it in the ass, that it would somehow kill her, lol.

My first time ever eating her out, it was dark and lets just say that our actions up until that point had gotten things "flowing" and well, i didnt notice until half-way through and yeah....i got a little more ketchup on my burger, than i wanted.

Egh. Still grosses me out.

lol on the clogged gas death lol

but WTF DUDE/??

eww how can you forget the aunt flow was in town bro??? did you not taste the blood?? come on kid... and i know that there had to be some type of funk...... this just made be gag... u just killed my thread kid... lol.. no im kidding but ill give you a 5 just because you admitted this... congrats

[MikeW]

She wasnt on it before we started.

Sex always usually kicked her flow into gear. Like we'd get done and she'd be like, "dammit, that started my period!" Well, her being irregular, and we hadnt gotten to the fucking yet, i got down there and got to work. And no, there was no funk and i didnt notice a change in taste. Good or bad, im not sure, but...unfortunate for me.

And yeah, i admitted that shit!

[Brandoncb7]

And yeah, i admitted that shit!

See I wasn't going to bring up getting shit dicked lol. Your story I would have never told lmao. Oh well though.

[MikeW]

Yeah, well...

[LITuner]

hahahaha noice..
7 for this story cuz she broke up with you..... do you guys still do the FWB thing???

nah we dont...but its w.e shes a whore...i made her blow me one time while i was taking a shit (i told her that it would prove her love to me LOL)

[Brandoncb7]

nah we dont...but its w.e shes a whore...i made her blow me one time while i was taking a shit (i told her that it would prove her love to me LOL)

LOL. Tucker Maxx has a story about doing that.

[Vtec1nspir3dCB7]

Oh, i've got a good one... i hope...

Picked my current gf up and she is horny as hell. I was driving and started to not see straight from the road head i was getting so i found the nearest parking lot, a high school and park it. Fondling starts and before long, she is on top of me in the passenger seat. (GOD I LOVE MY CB7 and prelude bucket seats ) Now, my girl is one to go like 90 times in 20 minutes... (gods gift i'm guessing) so i get tired of being on bottom and switch her to bottom. I'm going at it and it feels so good i shut my eyes. I'm reaching my climax and i pull out and jizz all over her face. As i do that, she says "Lights!" I'm not paying attention cuz i'm wanting to go again. Then she says it again, "Lights!" I turn around and a cop has entered the parking lot with his spotlight on and is starting to pass the front of the car. I quickly plop down in my seat and i'm trying to pull my boxers and pants back on. I get my boxers and pants on (zipper all the way down and belt hanging out *didn't get a chance to buckle it*) and he walks up to the window, asks our ages and asks for our licences. I have my left arm over my zipper so he cant see it and i reach to get my license, hand it to him and he turns his back to me to look at it. In like 2 seconds, my pants are zipped, buckled and unwrinkled. He turns back around, gives me a speech as to how school parking lots are private property and gets in his car and starts to leave. I think i'm in the clear. As he starts to accelerate, he leans his head out the window, and says "Real smooth boy."

I laughed my ass off the whole night.

The end.

[Luna92]

muchos propos for this my friend....... lots of win on your part but i have two questions.... #1... did you ever lay the 8====D on the older sister???? #2 did this really happen or is it just something that happened in your own little fairy land?? lol naw im kidding.... i got an interesting read out of this bro... 9 for you my friend

i swear on everything. no lie. and yes i f***** the older one too. she was a real freak. we did anywhere any time....stange how she didnt "loved" me but would F*** my brains out. lol i got tons of stories about those girls. lol

[jennaccord_210]

She wasnt on it before we started.

Sex always usually kicked her flow into gear. Like we'd get done and she'd be like, "dammit, that started my period!" Well, her being irregular, and we hadnt gotten to the fucking yet, i got down there and got to work. And no, there was no funk and i didnt notice a change in taste. Good or bad, im not sure, but...unfortunate for me.

And yeah, i admitted that shit!

wow ... that is effn gross! hahaha.

[LITuner]

LOL. Tucker Maxx has a story about doing that.

Yeah! thats where i got the idea! LOL

[MclovinRR]

nah we dont...but its w.e shes a whore...i made her blow me one time while i was taking a shit (i told her that it would prove her love to me LOL)

lol you got a blunken..... hhahahahaha

i swear on everything. no lie. and yes i f***** the older one too. she was a real freak. we did anywhere any time....stange how she didnt "loved" me but would F*** my brains out. lol i got tons of stories about those girls. lol

very nice home slice.... but does no justice without videos.... where the vids at man... sister sister action... lol hehehhehehe

Oh, i've got a good one... i hope...

Picked my current gf up and she is horny as hell. I was driving and started to not see straight from the road head i was getting so i found the nearest parking lot, a high school and park it. Fondling starts and before long, she is on top of me in the passenger seat. (GOD I LOVE MY CB7 and prelude bucket seats ) Now, my girl is one to go like 90 times in 20 minutes... (gods gift i'm guessing) so i get tired of being on bottom and switch her to bottom. I'm going at it and it feels so good i shut my eyes. I'm reaching my climax and i pull out and jizz all over her face. As i do that, she says "Lights!" I'm not paying attention cuz i'm wanting to go again. Then she says it again, "Lights!" I turn around and a cop has entered the parking lot with his spotlight on and is starting to pass the front of the car. I quickly plop down in my seat and i'm trying to pull my boxers and pants back on. I get my boxers and pants on (zipper all the way down and belt hanging out *didn't get a chance to buckle it*) and he walks up to the window, asks our ages and asks for our licences. I have my left arm over my zipper so he cant see it and i reach to get my license, hand it to him and he turns his back to me to look at it. In like 2 seconds, my pants are zipped, buckled and unwrinkled. He turns back around, gives me a speech as to how school parking lots are private property and gets in his car and starts to leave. I think i'm in the clear. As he starts to accelerate, he leans his head out the window, and says "Real smooth boy."

I laughed my ass off the whole night.

The end.

ahhh and the catching cops continue... they know what ya'll are doing they just hoping they catch ya'll so they can go to that dark corner in their patrol car and wack one to the memorie.....

Yeah! thats where i got the idea! LOL

ok wait.... so this didn't happen??

[Brandoncb7]

High school was the first time I realized that blow jobs would be a painful pleasure. I was dating a girl from another school in my area. Besides being one of the hottest girls I've ever known, she was also one of the very first girls to give me head. We were both new at it, and she liked me to courtesy tap. This was because I had convinced her that--I'm not making this up--it wasn't "real" oral sex as long as I didn't come in her mouth. Aren't 17 year old girls funny?The first few dozen times she went down on me I courtesy tapped just like she asked. One time we were in my car, parked right out front of her house because I was dropping her off after a date. Instead of a kiss goodnight, I suggested she blow me goodnight. She thought this was a brilliant idea.

I quickly got carried away with the risk and thrill of having her suck my dick twenty yards away from her house where her father, who I hated, was waiting for her to come home. I was lost in the sexual ecstasy of the dangerous youthful blowjob when I heard her let out a little yelp. She immediately sat up, her mouth half open, full of splooge, the excess dripping off her chin, and uttered a muffled,


"You asshole!"

Then she spit the come all over my face. Sprayed it all over me.

I was still recovering from getting my own jism spat into my own face as she jumped out of my car and sprinted into her house. I quickly drove off. I had no desire to face her rifle-wielding father with my face covered in her spit and my sperm.


This is not one of mine everyone. This is from Tucker Max's page but still worth reading lol.

[konig52r]

The cop stories ere funny, and while on that subject, I think i can do you one beter...

A few years ago I was going out with this girl (Patty) We decided to get it on but we couldnt go too far since she had snuck out of her house. She lived real close to the Rose Bowl so we went there. So we were doing our thing and then she got on top and was ridding me like crazy, we were lsitening to music (reggaeton) kinda loud, lol. I was enjoying the ride, the windows were foggy, and then she says,"whats that?" I said, whats what? "that light?" And I say, is it a cop? She says,"idk, the light is too bright" I say, shit it is a cop! So she goes to her seat, I go to mine, as im slidding onto my seat the cop was flashing the light at me already. My cockus was hanging out, and he says,"what are you doing?" i look at him and say, ahhhh(gesturing with my hands up and down, as if saying wtf?) and he says,"get dressed, you know how dangerous it is to be out here... yadayada. So he lets me go with a warning. And we end up going somewhere else to finish. stupid cop!