your funniest sex fail..... go ahead confess

[Vtec1nspir3dCB7]

high School Was The First Time I Realized That Blow Jobs Would Be A Painful Pleasure. I Was Dating A Girl From Another School In My Area. Besides Being One Of The Hottest Girls I've Ever Known, She Was Also One Of The Very First Girls To Give Me Head. We Were Both New At It, And She Liked Me To Courtesy Tap. This Was Because I Had Convinced Her That--i'm Not Making This Up--it Wasn't "real" Oral Sex As Long As I Didn't Come In Her Mouth. Aren't 17 Year Old Girls Funny?the First Few Dozen Times She Went Down On Me I Courtesy Tapped Just Like She Asked. One Time We Were In My Car, Parked Right Out Front Of Her House Because I Was Dropping Her Off After A Date. Instead Of A Kiss Goodnight, I Suggested She Blow Me Goodnight. She Thought This Was A Brilliant Idea.

I Quickly Got Carried Away With The Risk And Thrill Of Having Her Suck My Dick Twenty Yards Away From Her House Where Her Father, Who I Hated, Was Waiting For Her To Come Home. I Was Lost In The Sexual Ecstasy Of The Dangerous Youthful Blowjob When I Heard Her Let Out A Little Yelp. She Immediately Sat Up, Her Mouth Half Open, Full Of Splooge, The Excess Dripping Off Her Chin, And Uttered A Muffled,

"you Asshole!"

Then She Spit The Come All Over My Face. Sprayed It All Over Me.

I Was Still Recovering From Getting My Own Jism Spat Into My Own Face As She Jumped Out Of My Car And Sprinted Into Her House. I Quickly Drove Off. I Had No Desire To Face Her Rifle-wielding Father With My Face Covered In Her Spit And My Sperm.

Nice!!!

[ohdengitzpat]

^ I love reading Tucker Max's Blowjob follies

[jennaccord_210]

High school was the first time I realized that blow jobs would be a painful pleasure. I was dating a girl from another school in my area. Besides being one of the hottest girls I've ever known, she was also one of the very first girls to give me head. We were both new at it, and she liked me to courtesy tap. This was because I had convinced her that--I'm not making this up--it wasn't "real" oral sex as long as I didn't come in her mouth. Aren't 17 year old girls funny?The first few dozen times she went down on me I courtesy tapped just like she asked. One time we were in my car, parked right out front of her house because I was dropping her off after a date. Instead of a kiss goodnight, I suggested she blow me goodnight. She thought this was a brilliant idea.

I quickly got carried away with the risk and thrill of having her suck my dick twenty yards away from her house where her father, who I hated, was waiting for her to come home. I was lost in the sexual ecstasy of the dangerous youthful blowjob when I heard her let out a little yelp. She immediately sat up, her mouth half open, full of splooge, the excess dripping off her chin, and uttered a muffled,

"You asshole!"

Then she spit the come all over my face. Sprayed it all over me.

I was still recovering from getting my own jism spat into my own face as she jumped out of my car and sprinted into her house. I quickly drove off. I had no desire to face her rifle-wielding father with my face covered in her spit and my sperm.

bahahaha thats what u get brandon ... i prolly woulda did the same thing she did

[Brandoncb7]

^ I love reading Tucker Max's Blowjob follies

At leats someone got it lol.

[Brandoncb7]

bahahaha thats what u get brandon ... i prolly woulda did the same thing she did

You would have swallowed, don't lie.

[4U2H8ME]

Hey MclovinRR, I see you giving out #'s on the fails. what is it, on a scale of 1-10. 1 being low and 10 being the highest?

[1990Ex]

ok my turn .... one night me an my ex gf where doing what we always did, fuck lol. so we where in the heat of the moment an things where getting wild. i was hitting it from the back (best position ever!!!) smacking ass, pulling hair, just going ape shit. untill i hear a blood curling scream an her laying on the bed crying hahaha. some how while thrusting deep into that shit my dick went pussy to ass without her knowing hahahah. i really didnt know what to say or do since she was crying so bad. she kept saying i ripped her asshole open

[1990Ex]

i also have alot about getting caught outside by random people/cops haha. but ill go into those later

[iwork4mycb7]

ok my turn .... one night me an my ex gf where doing what we always did, fuck lol. so we where in the heat of the moment an things where getting wild. i was hitting it from the back (best position ever!!!) smacking ass, pulling hair, just going ape shit. untill i hear a blood curling scream an her laying on the bed crying hahaha. some how while thrusting deep into that shit my dick went pussy to ass without her knowing hahahah. i really didnt know what to say or do since she was crying so bad. she kept saying i ripped her asshole open

reminds me of this i seen at the " warning hotties thread"
were this fu is juss phuckin this girl, and accidentally introduces his dic in her ass and she just lays down on bed with her leg twitchin.. lol good 1 though

[MikeW]

nah we dont...but its w.e shes a whore...i made her blow me one time while i was taking a shit (i told her that it would prove her love to me LOL)

A Blumpkin. Nice.

[cp[mike]]

ok my turn .... one night me an my ex gf where doing what we always did, fuck lol. so we where in the heat of the moment an things where getting wild. i was hitting it from the back (best position ever!!!) smacking ass, pulling hair, just going ape shit. untill i hear a blood curling scream an her laying on the bed crying hahaha. some how while thrusting deep into that shit my dick went pussy to ass without her knowing hahahah. i really didnt know what to say or do since she was crying so bad. she kept saying i ripped her asshole open

that used to happen w/ my ex every so often. id always say "hey i figured i would give it a shot" lol. usually put her out for the night, though...

[illestatus]

"i hope they sell beer in hell" yeah it made me laugh alot

ever had a whiskey d**k?
well i once met this girl back in cali who invited me to her graduation party, i showed up with my buddy, the whole night she kept on giving me beers, at the end of the party we went to her bedroom, she unzipped my pants and started going at it, i swear to yall this girl must have given me the longest bj of her life!! i cant remember but all i know is that she kept on telling me that she didnt want me to cum in her mouth, i told her that i wouldnt, like two hours later i came, it was a priceless look, she spat it in a beer bottle and i think i passed out because i dont remember anything else. all i know is that i went to sleep a happy man, i woke up the next morning, i got dressed, walked out of her house, havent seen or heard from this girl since. oh yeah she had braces too

[LITuner]

A Blumpkin. Nice.

yeah i got the idea from the book and i wanted to see if she would do it...dumb whore did it so i was like sweet!!! lol it was hard enough to hold in the laughter let alone the nice asian love juice LOL

[Reignstarz]

This happened awhile back but it def is a sex fail.

I cheated on my gf with this girl who was a virgin at the time.

After we had sex my bed looked like a crime scene.
She was like "That's it? we're not doing it again" I was like ugh I gotta bring you home.

So I walked her home(Didn't shower keep this in mind lol) and went to a friends house and called my gf up and I felt like total shit. This was the first girl I cheated on. She was like "It's okay don't worry about it I want to see you tomorrow"

So I crashed at my friends house after drinking like 5 energy drinks.

The next day my gf came over, I still hadn't showered and my friend drove us to her house to get something.

In the car she was all over me and wanted to go down on me I remembered I just banged the virgin mary the night before and my penis looked like a bloody murder weapon. So I told her no wait till we got home.

Having my friend in the car must of turned her on or something and made her want to blow me more.

She kept insisting and I finally gave in as she unzipped my pants.

I let her go at it. and to this day she doesn't know she gave me a blowjob that had some chicks stuff on it.

I guess she got her "Red wings" lol.

[PR CB7]

drunk, horny AND 18 (great combination) just moved to the states.
I meet the janitors daughter in the complex i used to live in, anyways since her Dad is always doing rounds all over the complex, i took her in my car to the back parking lot, parked the car in reverse 1-2 inches away from the wall, put the windshield cover on, and it was on. My dumb ass forgot to put the e-brake on, so those 15mins of banging f*ucked up my rear bumper (bad). Its funny because is one of the things were you see them, you feel bad, you smile, but dont regret it